View Full Version : I am heartbroken. Please help
I never thought i'd be writing this, my world has been flipped upside down and i feel so helpless.
I am pregnant with my first child, everything has been so amazing lately like a dream come true. 3 days ago my partner of 6 years who very much wanted this baby too, told me he wants to leave me and he can't do this anymore.
It seemingly came from nowhere, we had a little argument in the morning, nothing special and i certainly did not see any of this coming.
For anyone who knows me on here knows he has always been the level headed one, my absolute rock, always so positive and happy, i was so grateful to have someone who stuck by me through all of my troubles and comforted me with no complaints time after time after time. Now it seems, when we are on the cusp of a wonderful life together, it's all become too much. Here are a few things that he said when explaining to me that he wants to leave.
Don't doubt that i love you i would do anything for you and couldn't bare to see you hurt, but we're not in love are we?(Massive shock) Everything up until this moment from him said the opposite,
I feel anger instead of compassion when you need me,
You deserve better,
I have this rage inside me everyday and i just want to scream 'i want to be alone'
I could have carried on but i absolutely know this day will come,
When things are good i love my life here with you,
Those are just a few of the things mentioned, he has also said a few times since this discussion that he feels empty, numb, and hes scared of this.
We had a very emotional conversation and i didn't handle any of it well at all, i was an absolute wreck and just couldn't believe what was happening. He displayed a lot of emotion, i mean he basically broke down like i've never seen. I think he feels so guilty.
I considered that there could be another woman, which is hard to bare, i asked him straight and he said no that is not it i have never cheated on you. He goes to work and comes straight home so unless there is someone there at work who he has developed a liking to, but it's mainly a man's place of work. I cannot rule this out as a possibility because it all seems so sudden and doesn't make sense to me.
I know in my gut that he loves me, and i know he loves us, i looked back the last few months and there has been no signs of this whatsoever and i have very good intuition, i feel so stupid to have been so happy. He says he feels empty on the topic of our baby, which just crushes my heart!
I feel so alone in this, i don't want to pressure him at all and i've told him that i can see how things could have led to him being unhappy, he has dealt with a lot of crap from me with anxiety and has been nothing but loving and patient through it all, i've always told him that if he needed to talk i am here.
I can't imagine my life without him, and i know i need to think of myself and babies health but i can't help feeling this isn't him talking! Before i met him when he was in his late teens i do know he suffered from depression and was on medication for a short while, he drank a lot. When i met him he was OK and since then he's never drank and has never seemed to have a problem with depression. He does suppress his emotions i know that for sure, apart from being able to show me love, he struggles with sadness and anger.
I don't know if there is any hope for a future for us, but i would do anything, he is an amazing guy so for him to suggest leaving when i am pregnant something has gone terribly wrong.
I know this isn't a couples therapy site but i am just so down and needed to get this off my chest, I've gone from being elated to heartbroken, it physically hurts.
MyNameIsTerry
04-07-17, 01:41
God, he knows when to pick his times!!! :doh:
From what you have said this sounds like it's been on his mind for a while. But before you get that far, is there any chance he might just be pooing his pants over being a dad? Like how some people have a wobble on their way to the church to get married?
Could he be depressed? Some of what he says sounds a bit like issues with self esteem.
I'm questioning why he says things like that. Is he trying to be kind to you by not saying what he really thinks?
I'm sorry because I'm adding questions when you need answers but I'm holding out hope for you that this is all in his head and now he has got it out there he may be able to work through it.
Like you say, he's an amazing guy, so I'm hoping this is a wobble or mental health issues of his own. If so, you can get through that together and perhaps as you talk he will realise he doesn't have to push you away to get through this.
It sounds like some serious talking is needed here, much of which coming from you to get the answers you need.
If it turns out to be that this is really how he feels, it's a massive kick in the gut but you will get through this. Hopefully he would be a good dad and you can both amicably move forward once you have reconciled your feelings which will be naturally all over the place (and some days you might want to cut the legs offall his trousers!).
Eitherway though, you know people here will try to help. :hugs::flowers:
Thankyou Terry for replying.
Because the limited answers he's gave are confusing and sometimes contradictory, I don't know if this is some sort of breakdown or like you say, he's trying to shield me by not telling the truth.
He's not the best at talking when it comes to his own feelings, as you say it seems he's been feeling this way for a while, what I can't understand is the happiness he has shown towards baby and our future, none of it seemed false at all. I just wish I could rewind and fix whatever caused this.
If it is depression I want to help him, but I fear bringing that up would just make him close up even more.
All of this just proves that no matter how you feel you have no idea what's going on in another person's head.
MyNameIsTerry
04-07-17, 06:44
When you told us you were pregnant you said you had been trying. So, it's not like this has just happened and he has felt like there wasn't a conscious decision for it.
Why would he go along with that and keep going along with it all? I would hope he would have stalled that decision if he didn't want to face breaking up or told you then. And it's been some time now.
If he was someone trying to shield you, you may know anyway from how he has been throughout the relationship. The old "it's not you, it's me" is often seen through by a partner because they've had years understanding how we treat them...and that's why so many don't buy it I bet when it is used.
Things just don't quite add up but like you say, you never can know. I just keep thinking that maybe this is about being suddenly hit with the pressure of having a tiny person to be responsible for (which is common) or perhaps some depression. When I posted earlier I skimmed over the bit at the end about depression so I handn't even taken that in. It could certainly be a possibility. It doesn't have to be a severe depression, it could be milder brought on by pressures he feels and something you can get sorted out.
He really needs to tell you exactly when this all started and why he committed to a child with you if he had doubts. If his doubts came after that, I'm leaning more the cold feet worries or anxiety/depression type stuff from what is a massive commitment. But I get what you mean about being careful if he is the type go inside himself.
I do hope you get this sorted and I hope you've got some real world people to support you through this who have the benefit of knowing him.
Yes we both decided, but I think he was the first to mention, that we should try for a baby. Granted we got pregnant on our first attempt so not much time to adjust, I understand it happened very fast and it did take me a few weeks to get my head around it.
I think so highly of him even though I'm heart broken I can't help but feel for him, I want to help, even if it means me hurting. We are going to talk later so hopefully i will know more.
I see the way he looks at me and there's nothing but love there, I asked him if he's not attracted to me anymore and maybe that was it, he completely denied that and I believe him. He doesn't seem to know himself exactlt what he's feeling, I think he really wants everything to be OK as you can tell that hurting me is killing him. The only constant I've got from him is that he feels empty and he's never felt like this, that it scares him he can't feel anything.
I've not told anyone about this yet because in my mind I want it to be something we can work through together, if it turns out not to be then I will need to reach out. I can't even fathom telling my family this after such happy news, they won't understand and I can't help with that.
MyNameIsTerry
04-07-17, 07:36
Yes, family are likely to initially feel angry about it.
With him suggesting trying for a baby it is made more strange but actually I take this as a possible good sign because if he felt like the then I just can't see him bringing it up. I would expect you to bring it him and him likely trying to minimise it to see if you drop it.
This empty feeling and loving you plus still being attracted to you whilst thinking something isn't right is obviously in his head. You said it was completely unexpected to you so he somehow is perceiving what you feel for him as different to what you actually feel. Maybe self esteem again?
This just doesn't sound right, be seems quite mixed up. The more you say, the more this sounds like a problem he is experiencing rather than someone intent on breaking up because he's fallen out of love (which he says he hasn't).
Has he been losing interest in things recently? Lost motivation? Under any stress?
He could have got a bit overwhelmed by it all if there is other stress too? It just reminds me of wobbles new parents have. It would be interesting to hear what some of the parents on here think about this.
Yes, family are likely to initially feel angry about it.
With him suggesting trying for a baby it is made more strange but actually I take this as a possible good sign because if he felt like the then I just can't see him bringing it up. I would expect you to bring it him and him likely trying to minimise it to see if you drop it.
This empty feeling and loving you plus still being attracted to you whilst thinking something isn't right is obviously in his head. You said it was completely unexpected to you so he somehow is perceiving what you feel for him as different to what you actually feel. Maybe self esteem again?
This just doesn't sound right, be seems quite mixed up. The more you say, the more this sounds like a problem he is experiencing rather than someone intent on breaking up because he's fallen out of love (which he says he hasn't).
Has he been losing interest in things recently? Lost motivation? Under any stress?
He could have got a bit overwhelmed by it all if there is other stress too? It just reminds me of wobbles new parents have. It would be interesting to hear what some of the parents on here think about this.
He doesn't seem to be affected in any other way, he goes to work just fine and seems cheerful enough, but now I question whether his happy was actually happy or a cover. I would say he's irritable, and needs to keep busy a lot, he's also gone completely into gaming now as if to shut everything else out.
I know it sounds cheesy but we really did gave a great relationship, take all the anxiety and stress from that away and it was perfect he's always been such a doting partner who just adored me. I know he absolutely hates any negativity, when we've talked in the past he says it reminds him if his dad, who he doesn't have a good relationship with, and he gets angry inside when a conversation is negative although he never shows any anger towards me.
The baby may be the reason that he feels like this maybe he is frightened but doesn't know it, this is really effecting my mental health which I've come so far with I don't want a relapse because of this, other people may say stuff him and let him go, but it's not that easy when this baby and my future was planned with him. I realise now that I based my whole life around him and while loving someone is good you need to be OK on your own and ik definitely not, it's been a big eye opener for me that whatever happens I need to work on myself.
I will update later after our talk, petrified he is just going to say the worst, but that will be easier to deal with than this not knowing.
Thanks Terry
Katiepink, I read your post last night and I was so surprised/shocked that I could not think of a reply. It's the timing and current situation of you being pregnant that fathoms me. I can only think he is panicking, because of the love he has shown towards you and the descision for both of you to have a baby, I really can't think why the sudden U-turn unless it was panic.
I am sure there will be other conversations that will follow beteeen the both of you snd until then, you won't really know what is going on.
When you know more, then you will be able to work something out.
In the mean time, make sure you take care of yourself. :hugs: x
I am thinking on the same lines as Carnation KatiePink,
No mater what you must take care of yourself.
Hopefully you will have a positive conversation, and go from there.:hugs:
Thankyou Carnation & Magic :hugs:
We didn't manage to have the conversation we needed as we were interrupted by a family emergency(all ok) however he told me that he wanted us to 'try' that he doesn't want to just throw away the last 6 years but he's scared about how he's feeling, empty, and doesn't want to promise anything. He agreed that my anxiety and stress over the years has put him under immense pressure and even though I would always ask him to speak to me, he suppressed a lot of emotion. He said when I found out I was pregnant he wanted to be happy, but he was scared, he said he can't explain it other than it felt like a door shutting! He said he thought a family with me was what he wanted and knew how much I did, but when it happened it felt different. Now he says he doesn't feel negatively about having this baby but he feels nothing at all, which he doesn't like.
We still have talking to do, I'm scared and lost really, if it was something specific I would know I could fix it, but he's all over the place really.
Catherine S
05-07-17, 19:51
Katie I do feel for you. There are no babies involved in my situation but I also have a husband who threw a wobbly a few weeks ago about moving back to the UK with me. He's German and we've been living in Germany since 2013 with his job, but the plan was always to return to the UK when the job came to an end which it did in May.
So we started the ball rolling with selling off the furniture and booking travel etc, and then one Sunday morning a couple of weeks ago he told me he didn't know if he wanted to move back with me. He told me he loved me but was confused about his feelings of uprooting and starting again. He's not the father of my grown up children but we've been together now for 10 years and he's lived in the UK before so it's not as if he's not familiar with life there, and this time we'll be living in a part of Wales that he loves, to be near to my elderly mum who he also loves.
I have to go back either with him or without him to help my mum who now has mobility issues and for 3 days he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. I was completely thrown and had a rant, cried and then had another rant, then he cried and we talked and talked and then told me he was being a prize pr*ck, that our life is together wherever it takes us that it all overwhelmed him and confused him etc, etc.
He's been fine since then and apologised for putting me through that. I told him i'm not gonna force him to move with me...it's his choice but I have to go on with the plan with him or without him because my mum needs me. Katie, I just think some men are crap at the big important stuff, and at sorting out and being honest about their feelings. That's why we never know what's going on with them until they choose to tell us.
I really hope your partner sees sense and you get things sorted. He helped to make your baby and not fair of him to now decide he can't cope when that baby is growing inside of you. Me being me though...and I know we're not all the same, and I know you love him and you're devastated, but I wouldn't pander to him if he was putting me through this, i'd just say either you're in this with me or you're not..choose. Easier said than done yes.
But you certainly don't need the stress of this while pregnant, and for him to be giving you this stress while he's taking his sweet time to decide what HE wants is really unfair.
You keep your chin up girly, and as others have said you have to look after yourself and your baby.
Take care
Cath x x ( previously known as ISB)
Thanks Cath, I'm glad it worked out for you.
Part of me feels so God damn angry I want to scream at him, but another part of me feels like I have put him through a lot of stress with my anxiety issues and maybe that's why. I know either way he told me he wanted a baby, we talked endlessly about our child's name, upbringing ect and have done for years, he was always very active in these conversations. To make me think he's in this forever and to go ahead and create a child, he had time to say otherwise, that's what I can't understand. Yes I'm upset that he chose to say all of this now, like you say I really don't need the stress and even though I am trying I still cried myself to sleep last night. I wish I was a really strong woman, but the truth is I don't think I am, but I may have to be. :unsure:
I don't know your background but if he has been an emotional support to you over the past year or so, could he possibly feel that he cannot cope with having even more responsibility? That now he is not only responsible and a carer for you but also now for the new baby? Perhaps he is just feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Did he want to be married before a baby? (If you're not). Maybe he doesn't feel included, where he feels you don't need him now that you have the baby? It sounds stupid but he may feel it's all about your terms. Was it all really just sweet talk on his part where he didn't realize the fantasies where to become reality? I hope he's active as a good father whatever happens.
MyNameIsTerry
09-07-17, 06:56
It sounds like you've got quite a bit out of him there which helps clear up some of the earlier confusing messages he was giving. There is obviously more talking to do but what he is saying now seems closer to being overwhelmed by a huge life change or perhaps some depression.
Most importantly what it doesn't sound like is a bloke who wants to jack in a relationship. He wants to try and it's about his lack of feelings.
Is he struggling to feel anything for other things in his life? The more you find out he is struggling to enjoy anything or feels a lack of motivation for anything, the more it;s coming back to his mental health.
The baby coming might change this on it's own. But otherwise it's something that I reckon can be sorted because it's not you or the baby, it's him and I also suspect no matter where he was he would still feel the emptyness because that's just the place he is in his head right now (it's just how it feels from the negative things he's saying). It will be interesting to know whether he feels empty about life in general.
Bike Rider
09-07-17, 11:31
Hi Katie, dont know too much about this stuff, but I knew someone once who was the outdoors type, loved surfing, went before work and after. Then his wife is pregnant and things are great up until about a month to go to the birth and then he realises that the surfing may become less even stop, panic stations.
He thought his life had come to an end until someone explained that this was a new chapter in his life and in time he could teach the child to surf, etc, etc so he was ok with it.
My point is, people react in funny ways to births, does he think your love for him will now go on the child and he gets pushed out of the way?
Keep talking to him and good luck.
It sounds like you've got quite a bit out of him there which helps clear up some of the earlier confusing messages he was giving. There is obviously more talking to do but what he is saying now seems closer to being overwhelmed by a huge life change or perhaps some depression.
Most importantly what it doesn't sound like is a bloke who wants to jack in a relationship. He wants to try and it's about his lack of feelings.
Is he struggling to feel anything for other things in his life? The more you find out he is struggling to enjoy anything or feels a lack of motivation for anything, the more it;s coming back to his mental health.
The baby coming might change this on it's own. But otherwise it's something that I reckon can be sorted because it's not you or the baby, it's him and I also suspect no matter where he was he would still feel the emptyness because that's just the place he is in his head right now (it's just how it feels from the negative things he's saying). It will be interesting to know whether he feels empty about life in general.
Yes I agree. This is very insightful advice.
Thank you everyone for your, it's been unbelievable hard, lonely and confusing for me. Since I last updated we stayed living together as he agreed for us to try, we've spoke a few times, mainly me asking questions and him giving very short answers. I don't want to push him so I try to be relaxed and not full on, I know he feels terrible about all this and as hard as it is I'm trying not to show him how hurt I am and be positive.
He's completely ruled out anybody else being involved, he said he had these thoughts before the baby talk. I asked why he didn't say anything and why he led me to believe all was fine, he just doesn't know, he said he didn't want to hurt me, he knows he loves me and was thinking that it will sort itself out in time.
He's not said this himself, but reading between the lines it feels as though he's had doubts for a long time whether he wants me for the rest of his life, he doesn't know what he wants.
I feel angry and completely used by the person I love the most in the world, because he would always tell me he was happy, always act happy, shows a lot of love and affection and i felt so secure. I've pushed that anger to one side because I want us to work, I know I cannot force it and the last thing I want is to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way. But I feel after 6 years and a baby on the way, we both need to try.
What's hurting me is he hasn't told me he loves me since, even though he said that he did, we usually text it to each other when at work and say it before bed ect. It hurts. But I need to give it time.
He still hugs me, looks at me the same way, he still very much wants to be sexually intimate, actually even more so than before this which has confused me?
I've changed so much already, I haven't voiced any of my usual silly concerns anxiety stress worries, and it has been far more peaceful for us. He seems to be happy, but that's what he does he won't show any problems.
I did ask him if he thought there's any chance he's been depressed, and that it wouldn't be a shock considering all we've been through, he just stayed very quiet and eventually said 'no, I don't think so'.
---------- Post added at 07:04 ---------- Previous post was at 06:58 ----------
I feel like I'm not even pregnant and that I can't discuss the baby at all, like it's this black cloud and a negative thing, it's absolutely horrible. He told me he doesn't want me to hold anything in, and it's not healthy, he said if you need to speak about baby just do it, im not a monster. But when I do mention, scans, or certain things that need to be bought ect, although he answers it doesn't feel natural, it doesn't feel right.
I asked him if he thought if I wasn't pregnant, would he feel any differently, he said he doesn't think so. He's not giving me anything.
Bike Rider
10-07-17, 11:11
Hi Katie, I think if there was someone else, it would have come out by now and he would have left.
Could he be having a mid life crisis, it is a real issue in men and can lead to depression and anxiety, plus other factors.
Keep talking to him, he may just need reassurance that all will be ok after the birth.
Yeah just keep reassuring him and reminding him that you're not one of those women that used a man just to get a baby all along but that you wanted to share this baby with him as the father and that the six years are great memories so far that can only get better.
I mean what else can he do? Honestly he needs to grow up (not to sound harsh) Love it or hate it, he has just got to get ready for fatherhood in his own mind with an open heart and of course it has to be on his own terms. He had the opportunity to back out during one of those conversations and say 'no I don't want a child' prior to the pregnancy. It was almost inevitable that a pregnancy would happen since you both were talking about it and obviously having sex. I don't understand. Does he not know women get pregnant??! I just don't get him....???
It's a point of no return once you've made a child. His life will be absolutely meaningless if he ever turns his back on the responsibility of a lifetime. I'm sure that when the baby arrives he'll realize that being a father is a wonderful blessing.
Maybe there's more intimacy because he feels guilty so is being a bit too nice to you to compensate. I'm not sure about another woman maybe it's just his own depression and he's been living a lie for some time or something. Do whatever you need to be doing and focus on keeping your entire self healthy. If he works with you great, but if not, nothing anyone says will push him to be excited or interested alongside you.
Thanks guys for your advice, i keep going through moments where i feel stronger, then other times i am just a mess. It's a lot to get my head around. He's still attracted to me, we have a laugh all the time, we get on day to day, i just can't understand what he thinks he would find elsewhere! He was adamant that he's never cheated on me and this isn't about anyone else, more so that he wanted to be alone. I feel like screaming 'Well it's too late for that!!' but i just can't bring myself too, because i feel like something is really hurting him too and if he is going through something of his own i would hate not to be there for him after everything he has supported me through.
All i can do is take it day by day now and it's not easy having this uncertainty especially being pregnant, we are out for his birthday soon, film and some food. Hoping that will be a nice evening.
Katie, you are strong everybody here knows that you can solve this depression
Katie not sure if someone else has mentioned it or not but it might be worth contacting Relate. They organise couples counselling sessions.
If you could get to the bottom of what is really bothering your boyfriend it would be a great start.
You would at least know what you are dealing with. This being in limbo must be so distressing.
Hi Elen,
I have thought about Relate, just not sure how to approach him about it. I've become really self conscious and insecure since this happened and worry about everything i say/do. Which i know is wrong.
He seems to be going through a battle of his own which i know nothing about. Sometimes i see the 'him' i know and he says/does something which makes me think everything will be ok, then other times he's very distant.
Thanks guys for your messages x
Hi all,
Just wanted to update, things seem to be going well, he seems more like the person I knew again.
We had a private ultrasound to see our baby in 4d and find out the gender.
He seemed to be more relaxed at this one, and actually interested asking the sonographer questions.
Also, he has started painting the bathroom and hall which is something that's been needed for a while and he's put it off. So I was surprised to come home to see he had started it without any prompting. Hoping this is a good sign. We really need to talk again, the things he said can't be brushed under the carpet, but for the minute it feels good to have some of the old him back.
By the way, we're having a little girl :D
Catherine S
02-08-17, 22:00
That's so cool Katie, im glad you and your little girl are doing well, and you'll be a fab mummy and he'll be a great daddy too. I'm sure you'll both get through this blip. It sounds very positive to me anyway.
:flowers:
That's so cool Katie, im glad you and your little girl are doing well, and you'll be a fab mummy and he'll be a great daddy too. I'm sure you'll both get through this blip. It sounds very positive to me anyway.
:flowers:
Thanks Cath I think so too first time I've felt hat we will be OK, it's been hard! But knowing our little girl is growing inside me has kept me strong x
MyNameIsTerry
03-08-17, 01:39
That's a good sign.
In depression treatment there is something used called Behavioural Activation. It originated was CBT but grew to be an offshoot in it's own right. It's literally to get people back into doing things daily, weekly, etc. The more you do stuff, the more you get back into routines and it can help to pull you out of the rut.
Sounds like he has made a start on his own. And the effects are showing. This is great news as perhaps it does point to him going through a difficult stage, maybe something transitional form feeling overwhelmed, and perhaps he is recovering naturally to go back to the guy you knew not so long ago.
Hi KatiePink, So glad things seem to be settling down. A Little girl. Great.:yesyes::bighug1:xx
Ok so a massive breakthrough last night, i won't quote word for word but he basically(out of the blue) told me he was very sorry for everything he'd said and that he DOES want me and our baby and the life we had talked about, he wasn't sure what happened with him but after our last scan he sat there and couldn't believe the things that he said and that he believed them to be true at the time.
I told him that obviously i am over the moon to hear him say this, i broke down a little, and explained how difficult it has been and that i just want us both to be happy. He said he will be happy with us as a family.
Good news? So why do i still feel so upset and worried for the future?
---------- Post added at 15:02 ---------- Previous post was at 15:02 ----------
Hi KatiePink, So glad things seem to be settling down. A Little girl. Great.:yesyes::bighug1:xx
Thanks Magic, i had a feeling it was a girl all along :D
---------- Post added at 15:04 ---------- Previous post was at 15:02 ----------
I mean it's been just over 4 weeks since he said what he said, can somebody have a sort of 'breakdown' and recover in that amount of time?
I suppose i can't bring myself to believe we are happy again after the things he said, it's difficult to let my guard down now. :unsure:
Catherine S
04-08-17, 15:14
Katie, before I go I wanted to reply to say you're prob feeling a bit wobbly because the fella you thought was so dependable suddenly wasn't. Your confidence went out of the window and your trust went with it. That takes alot for anybody to recover from, never mind somebody who has anxiety issues.
Your relationship will get back on track and as time goes on and your lives are taken up with your child/children, this blip will fade. Relationships are hard work, aren't they just, and there will be bumps in the road ahead...life's full of them, but you'll have great times and great memories too.
I wish you all the very best for the future, and thank you for your kind words on the other thread, much appreciated.
Take care
Cath ☺ x x x
Katie, before I go I wanted to reply to say you're prob feeling a bit wobbly because the fella you thought was so dependable suddenly wasn't. Your confidence went out of the window and your trust went with it. That takes alot for anybody to recover from, never mind somebody who has anxiety issues.
Your relationship will get back on track and as time goes on and your lives are taken up with your child/children, this blip will fade. Relationships are hard work, aren't they just, and there will be bumps in the road ahead...life's full of them, but you'll have great times and great memories too.
I wish you all the very best for the future, and thank you for your kind words on the other thread, much appreciated.
Take care
Cath ☺ x x x
Aww thank you Cath!
I hope you consider returning after a break from the site :hugs:
MyNameIsTerry
04-08-17, 15:37
I mean it's been just over 4 weeks since he said what he said, can somebody have a sort of 'breakdown' and recover in that amount of time?
Absolutely. They are called Adjustment Disorders. Struggling to adjust to a big life event. The only one in that group that is long term is a depression based one, the rest are short term disorders.
Sounds like a bloke being hit fuill force with his responsibilities and having a wobble, which has sadly caused you a load of heartache too.
Absolutely. They are called Adjustment Disorders. Struggling to adjust to a big life event. The only one in that group that is long term is a depression based one, the rest are short term disorders.
Sounds like a bloke being hit fuill force with his responsibilities and having a wobble, which has sadly caused you a load of heartache too.
Thanks Terry. I am so happy but at the same time hurt and angry because I went through emotional hell at a time where I was supposed to be happiest. It has taught me a very big lesson though and that is to always remember who I am as a person alone and not make somebody everything that you live for!
I have confidence despite this that we will be OK going forward, despite the dirty nappies and sleepless nights :roflmao:
MyNameIsTerry
04-08-17, 17:05
I bet he's feeling pretty guilty too for putting you through this, especially at such a time, now that he knows he could have got through it without?
We're like puppies really, he will be running around after you, buying flowers, paiting everything in sight and doing all the DIY! And that's before he gets the first thousand nappy changes as a punishment! :yesyes:
I'm really pleased for you.
I bet he's feeling pretty guilty too for putting you through this, especially at such a time, now that he knows he could have got through it without?
We're like puppies really, he will be running around after you, buying flowers, paiting everything in sight and doing all the DIY! And that's before he gets the first thousand nappy changes as a punishment! :yesyes:
I'm really pleased for you.
Yes I think you're right.
And i like your thinking! :roflmao:
I'm so glad he's come around! He's made the right decision. I'm so happy for you Katie :D
I'm so glad he's come around! He's made the right decision. I'm so happy for you Katie :D
Thankyou :hugs:
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