Anxious about life

[TheCatWhisperer]

Hey, I'm a recent chemistry graduate and I'm absolutely dreading getting a job. I've always been shy and a nervous wreck when it came to job interviews, even if it was a part time job at a supermarket. I know I can perform well when I put my mind to it and when I'm not anxious but since I graduated my anxiety has got 10 times worse.

I booked a holiday with my friend and for a whole week before I couldn't get out of bed as I was constantly crying and nervous and I couldn't tell you why. After forcing myself to go on holiday, I felt more like myself until half way through I received a message from someone telling me my boyfriend had cheated on me. I was absolutely devastated and things went down hill from there. Since then, I am still with my boyfriend and I decided to start looking and applying for jobs. I have applied for a few and now I'm so scared in case I get a phone call from them. I can't deal with the stress it will cause but at the same time I need a job so I'll be kept occupied.

I'm not enjoying life anymore and all I want to do is lie in bed and sleep all day. I don't want to eat anything when I'm stressed so I've had to force myself to eat lately. I've been taking citalopram 30mg for 7 months now and I'm not sure if it is helping with my anxiety much. I've been referred to counselling but I was too anxious to arrange an appointment. What do they do at counselling?

Sorry for rambling on but I'm not sure what to do. I should be having fun and enjoying life at my age.. What do you suggest I do? Should I keep applying for jobs and try to get past the initial stress of interviews and starting a new job??

Thank you

[Rick(amateur)]

Dealing with stress is never easy and, from the sound of it, your interviews might not go well with your current mindset. The boyfriend cheating aspect probably doesn't make you very willing to go on a holiday. Still, I think you need a break.

My suggestion is for you to just take a break from thinking about job and just go explore where you live. It's amazing how many things are available locally that we aren't even aware of. Just let you mind relax as you have fun at places you never visited before and you don't pay extra or pay very little expenses since you aren't even going out of town.

When you do need to return to job hunting, get a journal and write out possible questions you might be asked. Review a bit so things are refreshed. Practice a decent amount so, even if you get a little anxious during the interviews, you'll have something ready.

I wish you best of luck in your job hunt after your break! :)

[PunkyFish]

Hey, I'm a recent chemistry graduate and I'm absolutely dreading getting a job. I've always been shy and a nervous wreck when it came to job interviews, even if it was a part time job at a supermarket. I know I can perform well when I put my mind to it and when I'm not anxious but since I graduated my anxiety has got 10 times worse.

I booked a holiday with my friend and for a whole week before I couldn't get out of bed as I was constantly crying and nervous and I couldn't tell you why. After forcing myself to go on holiday, I felt more like myself until half way through I received a message from someone telling me my boyfriend had cheated on me. I was absolutely devastated and things went down hill from there. Since then, I am still with my boyfriend and I decided to start looking and applying for jobs. I have applied for a few and now I'm so scared in case I get a phone call from them. I can't deal with the stress it will cause but at the same time I need a job so I'll be kept occupied.

I'm not enjoying life anymore and all I want to do is lie in bed and sleep all day. I don't want to eat anything when I'm stressed so I've had to force myself to eat lately. I've been taking citalopram 30mg for 7 months now and I'm not sure if it is helping with my anxiety much. I've been referred to counselling but I was too anxious to arrange an appointment. What do they do at counselling?

Sorry for rambling on but I'm not sure what to do. I should be having fun and enjoying life at my age.. What do you suggest I do? Should I keep applying for jobs and try to get past the initial stress of interviews and starting a new job??

Thank you

Hi :)

I feel your pain. A few years ago I was a graduate looking to get a job after university and felt the exact same. I also have anxiety and when the thought of leaving university and having to get a job at that time stressed me out too. I could have easily of stayed at university for the rest of my life!

For me I have never been good with change. So after spending three years at university and then the thought of having to go into a full time job was horrible but now I've been working since then and have pushed myself to get through interviews and so forth. It is hard but it can be done. I find that once I have been in a job for a few days or weeks the anxiety for me becomes less.

Interviews can be scary for anyone. At the time I when ever I got an interview I would sob my heart out and sleep most of the day as I just did not want to have to deal with it. However now I simply say to myself that it is just an interview and it does not mean I would actually get the job which helps me to get through the interview.

I would try and start with the counselling and maybe also go and have a chat to your doctor especially if you feel your medication is not working. If you are not wanting to eat and just want to sleep you may have something like depression maybe? If you feel up to it and say you have time on your hands maybe you could volunteer in a business for a few hours a week to try and build up your confidence. Maybe also why not look for part time work instead if you feel that the less hours may be better for you.

I can't really advise on whether you should be job hunting at the moment especially if you are feeling like this. Maybe try and focus on getting your anxiety better and then slowly start to job hunt in time. :)

[snowghost57]

I did the medication trip cause everyone said it would help. It did calm my brain down, but I didn't last 3 weeks. The side effects I couldn't deal with. I work hard with my therapist and I cope with my anxiety without meds. I just came back from an interview. I relocated to another state 17 years ago. I have had the jobs from hell. I just spent 4 years in college and now have run out of money. I need a job. I hate interviews. After a month of jumping through hoops I still have to wait another day to see if they will pick me. But you know what? All I can do is deal with today, right now, its all I got. Sorry about your boyfriend. I would find a good therapist and work with them. If medication works for you then so be it. Take care.

[.Poppy.]

Is it possible/feasible for you to apply for and work a part time job for awhile? It may be easier to adjust to a lesser schedule and may be less pressure on you as a whole.

Definitely look into medication; medication has helped me immensely.

I will say I was right in your shoes just this last December! One thing that helps me with interviews is to think of it as just going in and answering some questions. They ask, you answer. No biggie.

It is also helpful to go onto websites and find some common interview questions, type them up, and then answer them honestly. You can read over them before an interview, so if you get asked a question you aren't caught off guard. If you hear a question not on your list, as soon as you get done with the interview, go home and add it.

Also, keep in mind that employers expect people to be nervous/anxious during an interview. It's fine. Honestly, as long as you aren't outright rude to them or otherwise seem a bad fit for their company, you've got a good shot.

Good luck!

[Stewy]

Hi Cat Whisperer,

Maybe I can help point you in a direction that would help you feel more comfortable in interviews. Everyone gets anxious about interviews so you're not alone. God knows I get apprehensive but I've found a resource that boosts my confidence.

Try a book by Tom Washington called Interview Power. I never really understood how to interview or prepare for it prior to reading this book (which I was turned onto by one of my mentors). For reference, I'm an executive in a large company and have been on both sides of the interview table countless times. This is the only interview book I've come across that's worth its own weight.

Hopefully building your confidence will help reduce your anxiety. Good luck!

---------- Post added at 14:21 ---------- Previous post was at 13:46 ----------

One more thing that may help. Do mock interviews to help retrain your amygdala that interviews are not a danger to you. This is along the same lines as exposing people who are afraid of dogs to dogs.

[snowghost57]

Update on the job interviews! I stepped out of my comfort zone and started applying in person. I did end up in fast food, the hours were horrible, making breakfast at 5am but you know what? I got my dream job and today is my first day!

We can overcome anxiety, it takes work and keep staying strong!

[Toby2000]

I get what you're going through. I think acceptance that maybe things can be bad helps, but you have to then find the good in things. I also think you should go for the jobs, totally. They may help you overcome this battle too:hugs: