sharoncjb
12-05-07, 09:24
Hi - i've already got a post on the forum about another problem but I am escalating quickly from worrying about just the one thing to having a million other problems.
I had/have my other worry which hasn't gone away despite some kind replies and 3 different doctor opinions but now I just say they are not looking where they're meant to!! Classic opinion of me not trusting that the doctors listen!
Now I have such bad neck pain it is stopping me sleeping, I wake all night either grabbing an extra pillow or chucking one out, it is going into my shoulders and my lower back is also so very stiff too, are these all symptoms of my anxiety, I just cannot see how tensing muscles, to be honest I don't really even realise that I am tensing, or do we just do it sub-consciously without even realising we're doing it, my friend even thinks that is my problems with the other bits as I am getting sore where I am tensing everything up through stressing over there being something wrong.
I just fight constantly with myself, I try and tell myself this is all just anxiety and tension and try so very hard to believe this but there is this little thing in my head that constantly says "what if it's not" - how do I get rid of that little thing that makes me doubt. I am so very fed up with living my life with this constant battle, I have been like it on and off for around 20 years and you would think that I would know by now and just learn to accept it but it still scares the hell out of me even now. I am a cow to live with, I am snappy, grumpy, can't be bothered to do anything, and very indecisive. I have some diazepam left (only 2mg) from previous episodes and the doctor said if I get like it to take them but I fight with myself over taking these and yet I know, they just take the edge of how I feel and when things don't hurt as much you tend to chill a bit but I just won't give in and take them.
If I could have one wish (other than wished health and happiness for my children) it would be that I could get up and just not think that I was going to die that feeling is always there, I get up everyday and I think even if I'm truthful, when I'm feeling okay and still search for lumps and bumps or worry that the cold or sore throat is something so much more sinister than it is, why can't I just be like other people and accept things for what they are and stop driving everyone mad!!
I asked my partner again last night if he thought that my bits not feeling right was me, and he says definately, 3 doctors have not seen anything untoward, but no me I just don't shut up, he said I must have asked about 15 times yesterday, but it is simply because I am constantly thinking about it. Today its my neck and shoulders to add to the other bits, life is just a constant fight with myself, how do I stop it and try to enjoy life.
I have three wonderful children who I spend the whole time feeling irritated with as I cannot stop thinking about myself, how selfish is that?
Sorry to ramble on but I could just keep on going and this web site is a godsend to find other people who are the same, as my partner I just drive him mad.
Thanks for reading this.
I had/have my other worry which hasn't gone away despite some kind replies and 3 different doctor opinions but now I just say they are not looking where they're meant to!! Classic opinion of me not trusting that the doctors listen!
Now I have such bad neck pain it is stopping me sleeping, I wake all night either grabbing an extra pillow or chucking one out, it is going into my shoulders and my lower back is also so very stiff too, are these all symptoms of my anxiety, I just cannot see how tensing muscles, to be honest I don't really even realise that I am tensing, or do we just do it sub-consciously without even realising we're doing it, my friend even thinks that is my problems with the other bits as I am getting sore where I am tensing everything up through stressing over there being something wrong.
I just fight constantly with myself, I try and tell myself this is all just anxiety and tension and try so very hard to believe this but there is this little thing in my head that constantly says "what if it's not" - how do I get rid of that little thing that makes me doubt. I am so very fed up with living my life with this constant battle, I have been like it on and off for around 20 years and you would think that I would know by now and just learn to accept it but it still scares the hell out of me even now. I am a cow to live with, I am snappy, grumpy, can't be bothered to do anything, and very indecisive. I have some diazepam left (only 2mg) from previous episodes and the doctor said if I get like it to take them but I fight with myself over taking these and yet I know, they just take the edge of how I feel and when things don't hurt as much you tend to chill a bit but I just won't give in and take them.
If I could have one wish (other than wished health and happiness for my children) it would be that I could get up and just not think that I was going to die that feeling is always there, I get up everyday and I think even if I'm truthful, when I'm feeling okay and still search for lumps and bumps or worry that the cold or sore throat is something so much more sinister than it is, why can't I just be like other people and accept things for what they are and stop driving everyone mad!!
I asked my partner again last night if he thought that my bits not feeling right was me, and he says definately, 3 doctors have not seen anything untoward, but no me I just don't shut up, he said I must have asked about 15 times yesterday, but it is simply because I am constantly thinking about it. Today its my neck and shoulders to add to the other bits, life is just a constant fight with myself, how do I stop it and try to enjoy life.
I have three wonderful children who I spend the whole time feeling irritated with as I cannot stop thinking about myself, how selfish is that?
Sorry to ramble on but I could just keep on going and this web site is a godsend to find other people who are the same, as my partner I just drive him mad.
Thanks for reading this.