JMT
13-05-07, 12:27
:) I've had OCD (contamination fears) for about 10 years now, probably its been more recognisable to me for the last 6 years. Mine was triggered by being attacked, indecently assaulted by a rapist who had been previously convicted of raping an eight year old girl and released just before he attacked me. After attacking another five times after myself he was sent to prison for 6 years.
The day I was attacked and returned home I remember removing my skirt before I went to bed and it felt really dirty because he had touched it, I remember putting it straight in the washing machine. A week after I was attacked I can remember an incident where I felt contaminated and couldn't touch my baby niece. Several small incidents happened for about 4 years which were linked to anxiety and contamination fears, but they were small and I felt totally in control and dealt with these issues just thinking I was a little fussy. :wacko:
In 2003, my long term partner and I broke up, my decision after he was not dealing with my OCD and he was of a controlling nature and I left with very little self confidence and was depressed.
I now have a lot of support from my mother who is helping me to become independent again. :yesyes:
I have spent a few thousand pounds trying to get well. Frustrating a large sum of money through a private well known hospital, who I found were of little help, they put me on Prozac where I had very bad side effects (including becoming aggressive, outbursts, dizziness, fainting and feeling of being more depressed). :shrug:
I had EFT and TFT which kind of cured 50% of my problem and reduced my struggle. I have also read Claire Weekes book, 'Self Help for your Nerves' which I have found absolutey fantastic! (thank you Pebbles for the recommendation). I see a counsellor occasionally now when I need to talk. :flowers:
I also believe strongly in regular relaxation activities, i.e. listening to relaxation CDs, Yoga, Tai Chi all to reduce the anxiety, because if you reduce your anxiety in the first place your OCD reduces considerably. Also remember anxiety can tire you so if you are struggling, STOP take a chair and read a magazine, watch TV or write down your fears. Battling to do household chores when you are mentally tired just makes things worse, you can go back and do them later once you are more relaxed. I haven't been good enough to keep a diary but if you can, keep one either on your pc or on paper. I find every time I have a difficult day or know I'm going to struggle I write all my fears on a piece of paper and write the meaning next to each one. I believe the more you do these (could take a few months but as time goes on things get easier) the more they sink into your mind (a bit like reprogramming - you need patience).
Writing down also a list of jobs to do, things that can improve your future, places you would like to go, treats for yourself (i.e. massage, day out somewhere special) as when you suffer with anxiety you need understanding from kind people (people who are cruel or make nasty comments aren't fully intelligent to understand the condition and I sometimes think I wonder how they would cope if they were in my shoes?!) :sofa:
My recovery has been slow (everyone is different due to circumstances, support etc) and it felt like a mountain to climb which I couldn't see me doing, I feel my turning point was after reading Claire Weekes book as mentioned about, also I spend time picking up pebbles on the beach and thinking each one is a fear of mine that I'm struggling with and the reason then I throw it into the sea and feel that that fear has gone. You can also try if you don't live near a beach, lay down with your eyes shut and imagine your fear and put it in a bubble then imagine you are standing on a cliff and blow the bubble out to sea, imagine it reducing in size as it gets further away until you can't see it at all and it loses significance.I also look at old photographs and remember when I felt normal , it helps as it can brings back memories of when you were more relaxed or positive. :blush:
My useful thoughts to remember are: be kind to yourself, find someone who you can talk to about your OCD who is of kind nature, remember OCD doesn't have to rule your life you can change it so you can be concentrating on new and exciting things you can be doing and you will notice you will have less time for OCD.:bighug:
You will recover, you will get better.. I am trying different recovery methods also another tip Bach Rescue Remedy (herbal) is really good too!!
Good luck you will get there .. remember OCD came along quickly one day and it will now go as quick as it came!!! :hugs:
The day I was attacked and returned home I remember removing my skirt before I went to bed and it felt really dirty because he had touched it, I remember putting it straight in the washing machine. A week after I was attacked I can remember an incident where I felt contaminated and couldn't touch my baby niece. Several small incidents happened for about 4 years which were linked to anxiety and contamination fears, but they were small and I felt totally in control and dealt with these issues just thinking I was a little fussy. :wacko:
In 2003, my long term partner and I broke up, my decision after he was not dealing with my OCD and he was of a controlling nature and I left with very little self confidence and was depressed.
I now have a lot of support from my mother who is helping me to become independent again. :yesyes:
I have spent a few thousand pounds trying to get well. Frustrating a large sum of money through a private well known hospital, who I found were of little help, they put me on Prozac where I had very bad side effects (including becoming aggressive, outbursts, dizziness, fainting and feeling of being more depressed). :shrug:
I had EFT and TFT which kind of cured 50% of my problem and reduced my struggle. I have also read Claire Weekes book, 'Self Help for your Nerves' which I have found absolutey fantastic! (thank you Pebbles for the recommendation). I see a counsellor occasionally now when I need to talk. :flowers:
I also believe strongly in regular relaxation activities, i.e. listening to relaxation CDs, Yoga, Tai Chi all to reduce the anxiety, because if you reduce your anxiety in the first place your OCD reduces considerably. Also remember anxiety can tire you so if you are struggling, STOP take a chair and read a magazine, watch TV or write down your fears. Battling to do household chores when you are mentally tired just makes things worse, you can go back and do them later once you are more relaxed. I haven't been good enough to keep a diary but if you can, keep one either on your pc or on paper. I find every time I have a difficult day or know I'm going to struggle I write all my fears on a piece of paper and write the meaning next to each one. I believe the more you do these (could take a few months but as time goes on things get easier) the more they sink into your mind (a bit like reprogramming - you need patience).
Writing down also a list of jobs to do, things that can improve your future, places you would like to go, treats for yourself (i.e. massage, day out somewhere special) as when you suffer with anxiety you need understanding from kind people (people who are cruel or make nasty comments aren't fully intelligent to understand the condition and I sometimes think I wonder how they would cope if they were in my shoes?!) :sofa:
My recovery has been slow (everyone is different due to circumstances, support etc) and it felt like a mountain to climb which I couldn't see me doing, I feel my turning point was after reading Claire Weekes book as mentioned about, also I spend time picking up pebbles on the beach and thinking each one is a fear of mine that I'm struggling with and the reason then I throw it into the sea and feel that that fear has gone. You can also try if you don't live near a beach, lay down with your eyes shut and imagine your fear and put it in a bubble then imagine you are standing on a cliff and blow the bubble out to sea, imagine it reducing in size as it gets further away until you can't see it at all and it loses significance.I also look at old photographs and remember when I felt normal , it helps as it can brings back memories of when you were more relaxed or positive. :blush:
My useful thoughts to remember are: be kind to yourself, find someone who you can talk to about your OCD who is of kind nature, remember OCD doesn't have to rule your life you can change it so you can be concentrating on new and exciting things you can be doing and you will notice you will have less time for OCD.:bighug:
You will recover, you will get better.. I am trying different recovery methods also another tip Bach Rescue Remedy (herbal) is really good too!!
Good luck you will get there .. remember OCD came along quickly one day and it will now go as quick as it came!!! :hugs: