Muttley123
13-07-17, 04:37
I have suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember but now I'm travelling South East Asia but the anxiety is stopping me enjoying myself. I moved to China in January and had my first panic attack on a crowded bus where I put it down to not eating enough that day. After China I had 5 days in Bangkok on my own and my anxiety was gone for those few days, but when I was in a very crowded alleyway another panic attack started to brew and I had to leave the town and walk, get a river boat and a train back to my hostel desperately trying to keep myself calm/not vomit. That was a week ago and my best friend has been with me and I've had to deal with multiple panic attacks since then, usually in crowded places or situations I feel trapped in. I've never been this bad and I love to push myself into challenging things but this is seriously knocking my confidence. I always used to be so shy but what I've achieved this year I'm so proud of but now I feel I've gone back to square one, I feel like a shell of a person. My best friend is on anti depressants for depression and is loving life and I feel pathetic next to her. I worry all my friends don't think I'm a nice person, I constantly question if I'm doing or saying the "right" thing and my mind won't rest. I can get to sleep easily but I wake up in the night and early and then I'm awake, keeping myself busy as if I'm scared to stay still and be alone with my thoughts. Everyone else travelling looks so relaxed like they're having the best time and I'm just so on edge! I am so lucky to be in this position so I hate to moan but I've had enough. If I was in the UK there's no doubt I'd go to the doctor but as I'm here I want to deal with this myself and without medication ideally. If anyone has been in a similar situation or can recommend anything to help I'd really appreciate it. I try to practice yoga and meditation each day when I can (difficult when travelling).
Thanks.
Thanks.