On the verge of a mental breakdown

[nosrednanagem]

I got diagnosed with Left Ventricular Hypertrophy a few months. My anxiety has been SO much worse sense the diagnosis. Not to mention, my mom was just diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I'm drinking every night to "numb" my anxiety. I wake up and my anxiety is so bad all day. I always have heart palpatations/skipped beats, even before my diagnosis. But once I start drinking at night, it starts to feel better. Guys, I'm so scared. I want to stop drinking but I know how bad my anxiety will be for at least a week after. And I'm scared to actually "feel" my feelings. I need help.

[sdoxo]

Sorry to hear about your mom, and sorry that you're having such a hard time.

Im not sure drinking is the best way to cope. Like you said if you stop, your anxiety may peak for a week or so, but it will pass.

Are you on any meds for the anxiety? I think that would help more than the drinking..

Take care! :)

[TattooArtist]

Agree with above poster. You need to be able to talk to someone through your feelings. The drinking affects your GABA levels, and quells anxiety quickly. The problem is, GABA is like a spring. If you suppress the anxiety, when it leaves your system the symptoms will come back full force and stronger. This is one reason it's extremely dangerous to detox from alcohol without medical help for a serious habit, and why certain anxiety meds require a tapered detox. If you are drinking at all right now, it's very important to have AT LEAST 3 days a week alcohol-free so as not to develop a dependence. It's a very sneaky drug and you will need to drink more and more to lessen the anxiety. Not good.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sorry to hear about your mum's health. :hugs: For your mum :flowers:

This is when you need to be as strong as you can for her. Maybe they can treat the cancer to slow it so she has years yet? There's always hope. Spend time with her, make everything about her. It can help with the anxiety sometimes.

I suggest you also talk to your doctor about the the alcohol in case there are risks to your own condition. Perhaps he/she can suggest some support for you in terms of your anxiety?

[nosrednanagem]

Thanks so much for all of the positive thoughts for my Mom.

I'm so frustrated with myself. I drank again last night. But, I've reached out for help multiple times. With my husbands job, it's damn near impossible for me to do any kind of inpatient rehab. I've been to my doctor who literally just tells me to go to AA meetings. I see my counselor weekly, I don't think that AA meetings would work. I just don't know what to do.

[MyNameIsTerry]

The AA meetings may work but it's a case of trying them and see what happens. They do help people. I've known people who go to them and continue to and say they helped them.

To be honest, you need any support you can get at a time like this with your mum and your own health.

[TattooArtist]

Are you drinking every day? You need to commit to a period of time without alcohol because you are trying to self medicate. 30 days works for me as a "reset". It's very easy to rely on the escape of alcohol but it makes our lives and anxiety worse. Drinking to deal with long-term stress is a recipe for disaster, and you need to take control. Check out rational recovery, SMART recovery, moderation management, etc, if AA doesn't appeal to you. You need to start racking up sober days. I use an app to track my drinks over the course of the month to be sure I imbibe within safe limits, there are several to choose from.