Modestaustin811
15-07-17, 16:58
I am a tried and true hypochondriac.
You name it, I thought I had it.
Cancers, weird crazy diseases, heart attacks, strokes, I've had it all.
2016 I had a lot of stability in my life. For the first time in a long time I didn't worry about my health. I had no anxiety, I was free. That all came to an end this past april when I was going through a stressful postgrad, I started having panic attacks again. Then I started getting serious ibs symptoms. THEN my girlfriend left me because of all this. I couldn't sleep more than a few hours, I was also looking for a job in my field, finally found a job in my field, and here I am today.
My mental health is not great at the moment. Somedays I'm okay, but for the most part i'm terrified that I have bipolar. I either feel restless, and have a lot of nervous energy. Or I feel this sinking hollow feeling in my stomach. I feel low, I don't want to get out of bed. I never hate myself, or contemplate suicide, i just feel bad physical feelings, and I feel like crying.
I'm terrified I'm going to have to put on an array of medications. I won't be able to get a great paying job. I'll never be independant. I'll have to move in back with my mother. They'll have to start giving me ECT treatments because my brain is so far gone. I'll become a recluse, a failure.
My family won't understand. I'll be a story of "what could have been"
I"m terrified of this. I can see it all happening. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. This is unlike any health scare I've had before because I undoubtedly am dealing with some sort of depression. I'm starting to get my thoughts that made me lose a lot of weight in the past, like maybe if I go on a very restricted diet it'll make me feel better. I have noticed that my poo has been very loose lately, and floats every time. I've read this is a symptom of malabsorption. I have gotten a blood test though recently and everything was cool. I don't know. I just can't deal with the uncertainty of all this.
Also, I should add that I had really horrible reaction to Zoloft a couple years ago, and I want to do this without medication. I have some strong opinions on them, and I'm happy if they help you. BUt it's really not an option for me. I got better for a long time without them, and I hope I can do it again.
Anyone relate? Thanks for reading this.
You name it, I thought I had it.
Cancers, weird crazy diseases, heart attacks, strokes, I've had it all.
2016 I had a lot of stability in my life. For the first time in a long time I didn't worry about my health. I had no anxiety, I was free. That all came to an end this past april when I was going through a stressful postgrad, I started having panic attacks again. Then I started getting serious ibs symptoms. THEN my girlfriend left me because of all this. I couldn't sleep more than a few hours, I was also looking for a job in my field, finally found a job in my field, and here I am today.
My mental health is not great at the moment. Somedays I'm okay, but for the most part i'm terrified that I have bipolar. I either feel restless, and have a lot of nervous energy. Or I feel this sinking hollow feeling in my stomach. I feel low, I don't want to get out of bed. I never hate myself, or contemplate suicide, i just feel bad physical feelings, and I feel like crying.
I'm terrified I'm going to have to put on an array of medications. I won't be able to get a great paying job. I'll never be independant. I'll have to move in back with my mother. They'll have to start giving me ECT treatments because my brain is so far gone. I'll become a recluse, a failure.
My family won't understand. I'll be a story of "what could have been"
I"m terrified of this. I can see it all happening. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. This is unlike any health scare I've had before because I undoubtedly am dealing with some sort of depression. I'm starting to get my thoughts that made me lose a lot of weight in the past, like maybe if I go on a very restricted diet it'll make me feel better. I have noticed that my poo has been very loose lately, and floats every time. I've read this is a symptom of malabsorption. I have gotten a blood test though recently and everything was cool. I don't know. I just can't deal with the uncertainty of all this.
Also, I should add that I had really horrible reaction to Zoloft a couple years ago, and I want to do this without medication. I have some strong opinions on them, and I'm happy if they help you. BUt it's really not an option for me. I got better for a long time without them, and I hope I can do it again.
Anyone relate? Thanks for reading this.