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View Full Version : Constant doubt about my GF ;(



Toranaga
18-07-17, 13:15
I dont know if this is the right place to post, but I came here in desperation seeking some sort of comfort or confirmation...:huh:

I am 40+ and have a girlfriend who I... some times love, but sometimes not....

I can have good days of joy and love towards her. But then suddenly I am aware that she is not perfect and has problems with bad facial skin and a voice inside is screaming "How could you possibly stay with her for the rest of your life!? Get out now!"
My feelings for her is totally shut off when I get this anxiety and I have a very hard time beliving that theese are not my true feelings, but my anxiety trying to trick me/protect me from harm because of abandonment issues as a child.

I guess I came here hoping to hear from others who have experienced similar hot/cold feelings and I wonder if it CAN get better!?

In my previous relationship it was the same only I focused on her gaining a little weight instead. I propposed to her in a moment of love, but two weeks later I ended it... ;( Back then I was not aware of my anxiety and now I am seeing a therapist.
But I dont know how long I or my GF can stand this... Can medication help or should I stick with therapy alone??

I am so unhappy right now and feel SO alone with this problem...

StellaNova
19-07-17, 05:15
i cannot relate as I've always wanted my now husband since the day we met, but this is not the norm either

but is it possible some things you are finding wrong could be because of things you see in yourself? Not necessarily the same things but similar insecurities?

No one will be perfect and looks fade FAST. What happens, God forbid, you loose and arm or leg etc.. you want someone who will love u no matter what!

I'm sorry you feel alone with this problem and wish I could help more. I would suggest personal therapy to help work through your thoughts and make a decision when your mind in more clear.

Toranaga
19-07-17, 06:54
Thank you. I am in therapy, but am still very unsure of wich emotions are right and wrong. My GF is a wonderful person and very caring, but also very sensitive, so it is taking a toll on her confidence when I turn from loving to no feelings back and forth. :weep: