Suggestions for breaking the reassurance cycle

[ktdid2000]

Hi all,

If you've read any of my other posts lately you'll know my latest fear is colon cancer spiked off by about 2 months now of looser than normal stools. I'll have days where they are fine, especially if I take more fiber, and other days where they are cow-patty like. I'm 35 and I have no idea why my gut has decided to do this to me.

Anyway, I've been to my GP, a GI, and yesterday another GI for a third opinion. My GP ran blood work, a stool culture, and an abdominal ultrasound which came back negative, my first GI did a FOBT which was negative, and the second GI that I saw yesterday wants to repeat my stool culture for some things they may have missed the first time but otherwise just gave me some pamphlets about diet. :weep:

I've gone down the reassurance seeking path sooo many times in my HA life, but I feel like the only test that will give me reassurance this time is an colonoscopy, which is pretty expensive and invasive! Not as simple as just getting a scan or something like that. Neither GI doc has suggested I have one. In fact, the one yesterday said it would likely be "low yield" given my age and symptoms which I'm guessing in doctor speak means "waste of time."

How can I just accept the fact that no one suspects colon cancer or is even looking for it except me!? I really can't keep seeking out more tests just to prove my point or avoid missing something.

But you hear those stories all the time about symptoms being ignored for months by doctors only to have it turn out as something serious (especially in younger people where they don't expect it). To me this means things need to be ruled out, not just assumed to not exist - right?

[StephA]

There are many things that cause loose stool other than cancer. I have had IBS-D for as long as I can remember so loose stool is a nemesis for me. Stress, food sensitivities/allergies, celiac, medications, IBS, IBD/Crohn's etc. can all cause loose stools. It sounds like another stool culture is a good idea to start with. If your doc's thought you needed a colonoscopy right now, then they would order it. If you said more fiber helps you then I would keep up with that. To your question of stopping reassurance is a tough one to answer. Number one would be to trust your doc's and learn that life throws us curveballs and most people suffer from these same "ailments" from time to time and a lot of times it's nothing and sometimes it's something that needs treatment.

[jaynespain3105]

This is what I need help with too. I do have some tips for what works for me. It doesn't always work. But at least half of the time and, when it does, sometimes leads to a good few months break from Health Anxiety overall.

First I give myself a time frame where I commit to NOT seek reassurance (from partner, Google or doctors). Say two weeks. Then I use a technique a therapist suggested to break patterns of behaviour. For me it is usually checking behaviours (worried about breast cancer keep self examining etc) which keeps the cycle going. So every time I feel the urge to 'check' something I first delay doing it. For 30 minutes. During that 30 minutes I distract myself with something that holds my attention. Then I decide if the urge has passed. If it has, great, if not I delay and distract again. It's not easy to keep up. Especially if you're obsessing over something. But the most times I have had to delay is twice for one 'urge' and the urge to do the check dwindles over a day or two to nothing. After a few weeks of this I usually no longer need the reassurance as the anxiety about it has passed.

This, coupled with progressive muscle relaxation exercises twice a day, gave me 6 months virtually free of health anxiety. Then I had a bereavement and it flared up aagain and my bad habits continued.

Whatever the behaviours are that are keeping you worried about colon cancer (checking stools? Anything like that) is what has to stop first. Then I think the need for reassurance sealing naturally declines. The hard part is not rushing to the docs on day one. I think we have to take a fatalistic approach to that to some extent. It's hard. But it works.

Using CBT to overcome health anxiety is a commitment and I really let my commitment to it slip this year and that has meant I am starting from scratch again to some extent right now. But having some brilliant days already. Yesterday I was in tears saying I 100% was going to the doctor today. But I managed to follow the above for an afternoon and morning and instead of wasting time with doctors today I met a friend for lunch and spent time with my kids.

If anyone else has tips on avoiding reassurance seeking please add as I would love to know.

One thing I have realised this week is that the best use of this website is to pick up tips and ideas. I have officially banned myself for posting for the benefit of reassurance, which is what I had used it for up to the past few days.

[Worrywart1234]

I do this and it never leads to good - or reassurance for that matter!! I read on an anxiety app that reassurance seeking only works for a little while and becomes a cycle, which is so true. I used to do it all the time and never found comfort from it - my family were used up in the process too. There's nothing more disheartening than seeing a loved one roll their eyes at your real concerns....my Dad even told me once he had nothing more to say about it because he'd said it all before.

I now have a golden rule that I don't ask anyone except my GP for reassurance and I wait 2 weeks to see if the symptoms get better or disappear before I do. The other thing I do is challenge the negative thoughts - I make a list of all the reasons why it's NOT what I'm worried about and is most likely something else. I find a distraction technique that also really helps is one where you do deep breathing - 4 in, 8 out - and then start focusing on one sound at a time and see how many sounds I can keep track of. Exercise is a big one too. I have to go for a walk every day and I set this time aside as thinking free time where I try not to think of anything. The biggest and most tricky one is trusting what the doctor says. I have to keep reminding myself to do this constantly. If you can trust what your doctor says you'll need reassurance less because you'll feel safe with just the one opinion.

There is a great free app for your phone called SAM that has heaps of really useful techniques to use. You should have a look at it.

Also, the colonoscopy won't help as far as anxiety goes. If you look at my posts from this week you'll see I had one on Tuesday. I had about 5 glorious hours of knowing I was fine until I started worrying again. You're better off focussing your energy on trying to control your anxiety.

Good luck

[ktdid2000]

....my Dad even told me once he had nothing more to say about it because he'd said it all before.

Also, the colonoscopy won't help as far as anxiety goes. If you look at my posts from this week you'll see I had one on Tuesday. I had about 5 glorious hours of knowing I was fine until I started worrying again. You're better off focussing your energy on trying to control your anxiety.

That's funny because my husband has been putting up with my mess for 17 years now - he's gotten to where he won't even listen to my symptoms anymore, mostly because he can say nothing that will help me actually have reassurance. :(

Thanks for letting me know about the colonoscopy, I honestly feel like it's a bit extreme given my symptoms but I can't stop thinking it would give me the "answers" I so desperately seek. I think I've already been given my answer, I just haven't accepted it yet!