greenbeane
20-07-17, 07:36
Hey all,
I’ve been suffering from some severe anxiety, mostly health related, and really need feedback. I’m a 25 year old female, and I’ve been living in Japan for almost 1 year. I moved here at the end of July last year, and my first 5 months were wonderful—I liked my job, liked visiting new places, and felt 100% fine. But then, the day before Christmas Eve (yes, I remember EXACTLY when it started), I started getting mild chest pains on the left side of my chest. In hindsight, they didn’t feel deep, but I was worried nonetheless given the number of important body parts in your chest. I had been getting the pains before I rather foolishly continued with a Christmas trip I had already planned to Sapporo, on the opposite side of Japan from where I live, and ended up going to the ER in Sapporo because I was so concerned about the pains. I had an EKG, ultrasound, x-ray, and CT scan with contrast dye and they didn’t find anything wrong with me, so they basically said, “Ok, goodbye, have a nice day, go home now.” I went home early and was rather bummed out about it. I got a second opinion from a doctor in Kobe who essentially said the same thing.
Skip to several weeks later. Still getting chest pains. After a while, the chest pains were replaced with crippling headaches that felt like an icepick going through my skull. Then after a few more weeks I got the headaches AND the chest pains. Saw the doctor again and he wouldn’t even look at me and said it was “just anxiety,” and to not worry. Then they got a little better.
Skip to March. I ended up being hospitalized for a gallbladder attack while in Japan, then returned to the US to have my gallbladder taken out since I don’t speak Japanese too well and wasn’t comfortable being operated on here. I was really happy to be home, even for a little while. I saw a neurologist for my headaches while I was there who recommended I take magnesium for the headaches. My surgeon didn’t care about the chest pains because they weren’t related to my gallbladder. I didn’t have the chest pains for the first three weeks or so I was at home but I think that was because I was heavily doped up on narcotic pain medication. I started getting them the last week of being home before I had to return to Japan, and I was really anxious about the flight because I hate flying.
I started seeing a therapist in May when I returned, and I thought I was finally getting myself in a positive mindset. I was not in great shape until the end of June, but then started feeling a little better. But then two of my cats back home died within a two day span and I got super sad and everything got so much worse. The right side of my chest hurts very deeply and intensely every so often, usually when I’m doing absolutely nothing. My right shoulder and clavicle hurt when I didn’t do anything to them. My back hurts to such an extent that I can’t get comfortable no matter how much yoga I do, no matter how much hot water I sit in, or no matter how I sit or stand. The headaches are coming back. I constantly feel like I am hyper-aware of my heart like I am going to have a heart attack or something, but I’ve been to two more doctors recently who have also said that my blood work is fine and my heart seems fine.
I’m really just at a loss. Has anyone else lived abroad and experienced anything like this? I’ve asked friends and family members telling me everything from “come home we’re concerned,” to “You’re being selfish because your anxiety is making you ignore us, if you want to go home you’re just being weak.”
But, it really is to the point where I have no idea what to do. I just signed a new contract for my job so the timing sucks, but I just don’t know if I can live abroad for another year while suffering these symptoms and not having a good support network (my closest “friends” here were the ones who called me selfish and weak :/ )
Any advice?
I’ve been suffering from some severe anxiety, mostly health related, and really need feedback. I’m a 25 year old female, and I’ve been living in Japan for almost 1 year. I moved here at the end of July last year, and my first 5 months were wonderful—I liked my job, liked visiting new places, and felt 100% fine. But then, the day before Christmas Eve (yes, I remember EXACTLY when it started), I started getting mild chest pains on the left side of my chest. In hindsight, they didn’t feel deep, but I was worried nonetheless given the number of important body parts in your chest. I had been getting the pains before I rather foolishly continued with a Christmas trip I had already planned to Sapporo, on the opposite side of Japan from where I live, and ended up going to the ER in Sapporo because I was so concerned about the pains. I had an EKG, ultrasound, x-ray, and CT scan with contrast dye and they didn’t find anything wrong with me, so they basically said, “Ok, goodbye, have a nice day, go home now.” I went home early and was rather bummed out about it. I got a second opinion from a doctor in Kobe who essentially said the same thing.
Skip to several weeks later. Still getting chest pains. After a while, the chest pains were replaced with crippling headaches that felt like an icepick going through my skull. Then after a few more weeks I got the headaches AND the chest pains. Saw the doctor again and he wouldn’t even look at me and said it was “just anxiety,” and to not worry. Then they got a little better.
Skip to March. I ended up being hospitalized for a gallbladder attack while in Japan, then returned to the US to have my gallbladder taken out since I don’t speak Japanese too well and wasn’t comfortable being operated on here. I was really happy to be home, even for a little while. I saw a neurologist for my headaches while I was there who recommended I take magnesium for the headaches. My surgeon didn’t care about the chest pains because they weren’t related to my gallbladder. I didn’t have the chest pains for the first three weeks or so I was at home but I think that was because I was heavily doped up on narcotic pain medication. I started getting them the last week of being home before I had to return to Japan, and I was really anxious about the flight because I hate flying.
I started seeing a therapist in May when I returned, and I thought I was finally getting myself in a positive mindset. I was not in great shape until the end of June, but then started feeling a little better. But then two of my cats back home died within a two day span and I got super sad and everything got so much worse. The right side of my chest hurts very deeply and intensely every so often, usually when I’m doing absolutely nothing. My right shoulder and clavicle hurt when I didn’t do anything to them. My back hurts to such an extent that I can’t get comfortable no matter how much yoga I do, no matter how much hot water I sit in, or no matter how I sit or stand. The headaches are coming back. I constantly feel like I am hyper-aware of my heart like I am going to have a heart attack or something, but I’ve been to two more doctors recently who have also said that my blood work is fine and my heart seems fine.
I’m really just at a loss. Has anyone else lived abroad and experienced anything like this? I’ve asked friends and family members telling me everything from “come home we’re concerned,” to “You’re being selfish because your anxiety is making you ignore us, if you want to go home you’re just being weak.”
But, it really is to the point where I have no idea what to do. I just signed a new contract for my job so the timing sucks, but I just don’t know if I can live abroad for another year while suffering these symptoms and not having a good support network (my closest “friends” here were the ones who called me selfish and weak :/ )
Any advice?