honeybee
14-05-07, 21:44
ok... where do i start...
had a letter through the post this morning off my landlady saying she wants to move back into the house and can we be out by end of june.... as some of you know i've only just moved into this house myself... only just finished unpacking everything....
anyway, where i am at the mo the rent is only £300 per month... all other places are around £600 a month.... im on income support so there's no way im gonna be able to afford it, we also have a dog and cat... all houses ive checked out are NO DSS and NO PETS... doh!!! STRESS!!! STRESS!!! ANXIETY!!! STRESS!!! ANXIETY!!!
my fella has been saving to get a deposit on a house and it seems it'll be cheaper to get a mortgage than actually rent a place so me and my fella been around all estate agents today looking at houyses...
been a jibbering wreck,
although i did go into one place and got chatting to the lady and she ended up asking if we were employed i said i wasnt, she asked if i was looking for work (i HATE it when people ask why i dont work and stuff, i hate feeling like a failure), i said id stoppped working cos i'd been a bit ill and bla bla bla, then she replied by saying "well we're looking for an employee and you seem really chatty and bubbly, you'd be great for the job.. if you feel like it get in touch even if its just part time"... how cool is that??? i got offered a job from a stranger... anyway, i really wish i was just honest with her and said "i had to stop working 3 years ago cos i started getting severe panic attacks and i find it almost impossible to leave the house without my fella and as much as id love the job i'd probably just be a jibbering wreck"... i'd love to know what her reaction wouldve been...
anyway to add to my anxiety my fella has been going on about how i should take the job... he seems to forget i cant actually go further than 5 mins away from the house on my own... especially around strangers... but then i started getting depressed cos when is gonna be the right time to start working??? will i ever feel excited about working again???
im so scared about where my life is going...
there just seems to be no stability in sight in the near future and i want to be able to lead a normal bl**dy life...
i want to contribute to paying a mortgage...
i wanna be able to get a job... i mean, i got handed a perfectly good job today just by chatting to someone and i havent even got the confidence to go for it...
how will i ever get the confidence to get my life back???
it just seems like its been like this for too long now to ever feel normal again...
had a letter through the post this morning off my landlady saying she wants to move back into the house and can we be out by end of june.... as some of you know i've only just moved into this house myself... only just finished unpacking everything....
anyway, where i am at the mo the rent is only £300 per month... all other places are around £600 a month.... im on income support so there's no way im gonna be able to afford it, we also have a dog and cat... all houses ive checked out are NO DSS and NO PETS... doh!!! STRESS!!! STRESS!!! ANXIETY!!! STRESS!!! ANXIETY!!!
my fella has been saving to get a deposit on a house and it seems it'll be cheaper to get a mortgage than actually rent a place so me and my fella been around all estate agents today looking at houyses...
been a jibbering wreck,
although i did go into one place and got chatting to the lady and she ended up asking if we were employed i said i wasnt, she asked if i was looking for work (i HATE it when people ask why i dont work and stuff, i hate feeling like a failure), i said id stoppped working cos i'd been a bit ill and bla bla bla, then she replied by saying "well we're looking for an employee and you seem really chatty and bubbly, you'd be great for the job.. if you feel like it get in touch even if its just part time"... how cool is that??? i got offered a job from a stranger... anyway, i really wish i was just honest with her and said "i had to stop working 3 years ago cos i started getting severe panic attacks and i find it almost impossible to leave the house without my fella and as much as id love the job i'd probably just be a jibbering wreck"... i'd love to know what her reaction wouldve been...
anyway to add to my anxiety my fella has been going on about how i should take the job... he seems to forget i cant actually go further than 5 mins away from the house on my own... especially around strangers... but then i started getting depressed cos when is gonna be the right time to start working??? will i ever feel excited about working again???
im so scared about where my life is going...
there just seems to be no stability in sight in the near future and i want to be able to lead a normal bl**dy life...
i want to contribute to paying a mortgage...
i wanna be able to get a job... i mean, i got handed a perfectly good job today just by chatting to someone and i havent even got the confidence to go for it...
how will i ever get the confidence to get my life back???
it just seems like its been like this for too long now to ever feel normal again...