Holiday anxiety - worried about blood cancer and I'm away from home

[cattia]

Hi all,
I'm on my annual holiday at the moment and I'm trying to relax and enjoy time with my family but my anxiety is through the roof. I've woken up this morning with a sore arm and it looks like I have a bruised vein. As far as I know I haven't knocked it or anything. Last week I had an unexplained bruise on the same arm. My recent blood tests were all normal but my white blood count was right at the very bottom end of normal so now I'm convinced I have leukaemia or lymphoma. I'm just struggling to calm down.

[sollythegolly]

As a person with Leukaemia (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia) I can tell you that if you had Leukaemia or Lymphoma that your GP would have bustled you off to a haematologist by now.

White blood cell counts go up and down. They may well have been down at your last blood test, but may well be fine now. Your GP will be looking at a trend.

As for bruises, it is not uncommon to sustain bruising unknowingly.

If your blood tests are fine, and your GP is not calling the Haemotology Department at your local Hospital, then you’re fine. Have a great holiday.

[AussieWorrier]

Just be grateful your anxiety hasn't stoped you from going on holiday. I'm so paralysed by anxiety I went and cancelled a dream holiday to Europe and lost thousands of dollars and feel like shit now

[cattia]

Thanks for the replies. Solly, I appreciate you sharing your experience. I kind of wish the Dr hadn't shown me the breakdown of the results as I've been worried ever since. I'll maybe get tested again in a few months and hope it's come back up.
Aussie, I'm sorry to hear about your trip. I totally understand how you must feel. Anxiety takes away a lot of opportunities for us. I've been dealing with mine since my twenties and I'm now 40 but recently it's been so much worse. I hope you manage to find some help that works for you.

[jessieblue]

Cattia, I understand how you feel. I have not been on holiday for 10 years since my family holiday went disasterously wrong when my anxiety hit while in Florida. I had some physical issues and thought I could cope but anxiety moved in and I found it hard to cope away from home. It does make you feel vulnerable. Please try not to dwell on this worry and relax as much as you can. Keep busy and distracted and keep off google! I always thought white blood cells went up with leukaemia and red cells would be down, as anaemia becomes apparent......I am no medic tho, just throwing it out there. Also white cells take on a different shape as the cells mutate or something. So basically the changes that go along with leukaemia are very noticeable to a doctor and would definitely have been noticed and further tests ordered if there was anything suspicious in your blood result. I had a massive bruise on my thigh a couple of weeks ago....had all the same panic and cannot remember knocking it. Its gone now tho and still no explanation.....

Actually for me, whenever I fly I get some weird sort of lump arrive....swollen gland, lump in my armpit, piles, you name it something swells up and scares me to death while I am away. I think its either the altitude and pressure thing or just my raised anxiety maybe, but flying can do weird things, if you flew that is.

Try to relax and enjoy your holiday. I 100% promise you will be ok. xx

[cattia]

Thanks so much for your reply Jessieblue, I'm so sorry to hear about your own battles with anxiety but at the same time it also reassures me that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I often feel very isolated from people around me because nobody understands what it's like. I'm sure I wouldn't understand it either and would probably feel very frustrated by it had I not experienced it for myself. Have you found anything that helps with your anxiety at all?