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View Full Version : Neighbors poisoning my life.



Vladimir
23-07-17, 22:15
My name is Vladimir and I am originally from Russia.
I was thinking that I am alone with this problem, but when started to search found that many people have something similar.
5 years ago I moved to a new place, all was great until new neighbor came to live in the apartments across mine, he is very noise loud speaking and keeps his door open all the time, also sometimes he listen to his music until 2am very loud. I complaint to management company, but he doesn't care about anything. He is over 65 and likes to drink.
I noticed that I am experience anxiety all the time when I hear his loud speeches and loud music, I understand that something wrong with me, because my reaction to this is not normal and over the top. When he is not listening to any music or doesn't produce any noise, I am listening to any noise and waiting when again he does this, than when he does this again my adrenalin getting so high.
Now I am started to get anxiety and fear with adrenalin from all noises that produced by all neighbors, that is freaking crazy. Alcohol used to help to treat it well, but I stopped because was afraid to become alcoholic.
In social life absolutely no problems, very communicable with people.
Basically my anxiety happens only when I am at home, on any noises from my neighbors, its drives me nuts for 5 years, now its more because I have stopped drinking any alcohol.
Can you please advise something to me, maybe some of you had something the same and got out from this hell.
I am sorry fro my English.

Wooster
04-09-17, 22:06
Hi! I am very similar - I often find noise of any kind very hard to deal with, especially when I'm trying to sleep. Unfortunately noisy neighbours are sometimes just a part of life! I've got a white noise app on my phone which I find very useful, called "relax and sleep". It drowns out speech and some types of music very well. You could also invest in a more fancy white noise machine as opposed to just a phone app. Have you tried mindfulness, also? I sometimes find breathing exercises useful when loud music from neighbours is making me tense. I assume also that you've tried just talking to this neighbour and politely explaining the problem.

kitkat3478
04-09-17, 22:15
Hiya, I can't understand this. I agree with you and don't think alcohol is the answer, so I think you have made the right decision there. At nights I use a sleep talk down meditation app or on YouTube, that way you are focused on what the person in the video is saying rather than listen to the noises that are causing you anxiety, they work well for me. I'm not sure about during the day, you can get all sorts of ones, you should have a wee look or try it out and see how you get on :)

Bigboyuk
05-09-17, 11:30
Hi Valdimir Sorry to hear about this problem, tbh with you I don't think it's all anxiety causing you to worry about this, After all 2 o clock in the morning is not normal to play loud music with his door open etc sound very anti social to me, How ever you say now any noise, from any neighbour causes you to get anxious now that's when I would say you have a problem I would recommend seeing your dr for maybe Therapy etc Also contact the management company again about the very noisy neighbour and the council Do you now live in the Uk? Good luck and let us know how you get on :) Cheers

nikkinik
05-09-17, 12:46
I can relate to this and I'd also say it doesn't seem like an ott reaction if I'm honest... Not necessarily an anxiety issue either, it's just 5years worth of stuff that's dragged you down by the sounds of it.

We lived in between some scummy neighbours.. So scummy in fact that we couldn't even sell the place when we needed to and took a massive hit on the selling price.. Noise, shouting, parking so we couldn't get on our own drive, dumping anything and everything out the back, their old furniture on our driveway, putting their rubbish in our bins..generally rude, lazy, selfish ppl..
It became a thing pretty quickly, like turning a certain corner on the drive home and then starting to think "will I be able to park my car outside my own house..." Will there be music later on, will they have dumped something outside, will they be outside smoking (then giving dirty looks as we pass).. Just general things that make you outright stressed, it can easily leave you anxious and then it probably drip feeds into other things, wondering when the peace and quiet will be broken, what will be the next thing etc etc - which is probably where you are now.

Have you written him a polite note, some people perhaps don't realise what they're doing. Try that. Keep a record of what you've tried and when btw.

If you're outside of the situation and everything is ok I'd say there's little to worry about as far as your mental state is concerned iykwim, you've just got a selfish twit for a neighbour(!)

If this doesn't resolve itself is there any chance of moving, or even staying at a friends for a bit to give your nerves a break?

Bigboyuk
05-09-17, 13:18
I can relate to this and I'd also say it doesn't seem like an ott reaction if I'm honest... Not necessarily an anxiety issue either, it's just 5years worth of stuff that's dragged you down by the sounds of it.

We lived in between some scummy neighbours.. So scummy in fact that we couldn't even sell the place when we needed to and took a massive hit on the selling price.. Noise, shouting, parking so we couldn't get on our own drive, dumping anything and everything out the back, their old furniture on our driveway, putting their rubbish in our bins..generally rude, lazy, selfish ppl..
It became a thing pretty quickly, like turning a certain corner on the drive home and then starting to think "will I be able to park my car outside my own house..." Will there be music later on, will they have dumped something outside, will they be outside smoking (then giving dirty looks as we pass).. Just general things that make you outright stressed, it can easily leave you anxious and then it probably drip feeds into other things, wondering when the peace and quiet will be broken, what will be the next thing etc etc - which is probably where you are now.

Have you written him a polite note, some people perhaps don't realise what they're doing. Try that. Keep a record of what you've tried and when btw.

If you're outside of the situation and everything is ok I'd say there's little to worry about as far as your mental state is concerned iykwim, you've just got a selfish twit for a neighbour(!)

If this doesn't resolve itself is there any chance of moving, or even staying at a friends for a bit to give your nerves a break?Hi That sounds dreadful and they don't derserve a home to live in :eek: nikkinik think in the OP's case its now become any neighbour that has bit of noise to deal with that's anxiety how ever it's this other neighbour like you say that is the main cause, And heck why should he move (moving house etc is also stressful) so added stress is not good. The local council will look in to it if he makes a serious complaint, the management company too must take action too :)
Cheers

BigBoiBenzo
06-09-17, 10:21
so sorry to hear this bro, at this point I'd try to mediate with a third party, the official institutions for these things.

nikkinik
06-09-17, 10:30
Hi That sounds dreadful and they don't derserve a home to live in :eek: nikkinik think in the OP's case its now become any neighbour that has bit of noise to deal with that's anxiety how ever it's this other neighbour like you say that is the main cause, And heck why should he move (moving house etc is also stressful) so added stress is not good. The local council will look in to it if he makes a serious complaint, the management company too must take action too :)
Cheers

I agree it is stressful, I guess I was thinking that people have different degrees of stuff.. Maybe he could just pack a few boxes and he's sorted, or maybe he has belongings collected over decades (I'd probably need a hgv just for the contents of my loft! Lol).
I wasn't suggesting he move right away either, if at all, I just wondered if it was possibility, a safety net if you like. Knowing you're stuck there no matter what would be upsetting if it were me.
In my case we kept contacting the council.. They never told us any action they were taking and nothing changed. I don't think all management/councils are the same and if he's happy to push on with his complaints I'm all for that, and of course it's the right way to go about it.

Staying somewhere else was just to give him a break that was all, maybe have a long weekend at a mates and go back a bit rested. I know when I'm struggling with my nerves anything and anyone makes me jump, it's unpleasant.

:)