I'm sinking

[Lizzie1975]

God i'm sinking again. It's been chasing me for about a week but last night got me completely. I was awake for hours in the night feeling sick and shaky and today i'm just the same. It's the overwhelming feeling of impending doom again, everything feels wrong and there's nothing I can do about it.

I know, I hope I know, it will pass but why again, why now? there's nothing wrong and no reason for it and worse, no meds I can take to take the edge off it (nearly 3 months pregnant).

I know I have to wait it out and it'll eventually go - but in the meantime? I can't function, I can't cope and I don't know why. I'm so sick of this, why does it always come back to these feelings and why do I not know why nor have any damn control over how I feel.

Hubby is great and completely supportive but I see in his face how dissapointed he is that we're here again......for me, for us, and I know he's every bit as scared as I am - how will we cope with a baby if i'm like this! I feel like I make life so difficult for him sometimes. I wish for him he'd fallen for someone else.

I don't really feel I can talk to my friends about this anymore, it's been so long now and it's boring, there's nothing to say and no-one can help. Normally I could at least look forward to a sleeping tablet tonight to guarantee an easier night but obviously I can't:emot-crying:

I'm seeing my therapist tonight, am thankful for that, but don't really see how it will make me feel any better.

Sorry to be so miserable, i don't know what to do:weep:

Lizzie x

[kilvosa]

Hi Lizzie
Im so sorry you are not feeling too good at the moment have you tried rescue remedy? When i was pregnant my midwife told me to get some and it helped me.Hope you feel better soon. Take care
Anne xx

[groovygranny]

Hi Lizzie

Don't forget that pregnancy in itself brings about changes in your body, and in your mind. Yes, this will pass but it's the here and now that matters to you isn't it?

Maybe you're thinking that it won't because you can't take anything for it, therefore reducing your options?

Sounds like you have a great hubby - and you have everything to look forward to with the baby. But don't beat yourself up over how you feel. You'd be amazed how some cope after wondering how they will!

My daughter for one. She was never a 'maternal' young woman, although she loved kids in general. When she fell pregnant she was blown away and was convinced she would never cope (she was single at the time and went through very tough time with the father). And she was (and still is a bit) very highly strung.

But now she is just about as good a mother as you can get, has a lovely partner who loves them both and my little grandson is a credit to her.

You can do it Lizzie - try Rescue Remedy as it is herbal.......but go along with this, let it run it's course and don't think too far ahead ok?

Don't know if this helps, but just wanted to give you some 'mummy/granny' support !!

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[happyone]

Lizzie, sunshine:hugs:

This won't get you!:hugs: I had had depression before my second pregnancy and stopped taking meds, just like you have due to pregnancy. I got through the pregnancy but not without major worries and concerns about how I was going to cope.
Lizzie, I won't lie. It came back not long after birth but I got myself right down to doc and got meds. I got better really quickly.
The only thing I did wrong was, I gave up my therapy during pregnancy as I had tried to convince myself I was 'ok'. Don't do that!
Also, when I came off meds after the birth of my second, I only stayed on for 4 months. Docs reckon that is why I have had this bout as I was never effectively treated then.
Come on, you helped buoy me up when I felt I was sinking, let me do it for you. I am here if you ever want to pm me hun.
Happyone
xx

[caz]

hi lizzie
i feel exactly in same boat as u i have sufferd anxiety ,depresion,panic attacks since ive been 19 on and off and last yr i also got ocd(intrusive thoughts)
ive just found out recently im 9 weeks pregnant and too say im shocked and scared is an understatment,im currently still on meds was on effexor 75mg but have had them halfed too 37mg and i feel sooo bad i have two kids already 12 and 15 and this one was not planned ,
im scared im not going too be able too cope with the pregnancy or the baby my head is so messed up,i just want too sleep so i dont have too think anymore
feel free too chat too me if u want,also have msn just pm me

caz xx

[belle]

Hi Lizzie..

Sorry you're going through a rough patch at the moment and you need to keep in mind thats all it is....a rough "patch". It won't be forever!

I can totally relate to you as my panic disorder/agoraphobia actually kicked off when i was 5 months pregnant. I think combined with multiple hormones rushing through my body and not having a clue what was going on made my situation a million times worse. No one told me i was having panic attacks, therefore its made my recovery a little bit longer than i anticipated.

You're VERY lucky that you have a supportive husband, but may i suggest at your next anti natal appointment (unless you already have), just have a word with a midwife and explain that you are having anxiety.....they are very understanding. I don't know what they can do - but its always good to pour your heart out to people :)

I would agree that rescue remedy is good, but check with a midwife prior to taking it because i know its FULL of brandy!

If you ever want to chat - you can PM me...

x

[Karen]

Hi Lizzie

I'm so sorry that you are feeling low and struggling right now. How did you get on seeing your therapist? Did it help to talk to someone?

Remember your body is going through all kinds of changes at the moment with the pregnancy and I too think maybe hormones are not helping.

I know you are struggling but I also know you have the inner strength and determination to come through this Lizzie. It is so hard when it returns to pull you down again but you can and will come through it.

You have a lot of friends here who care for you very much :hugs:

Go easy on yourself hun.

Karen xx

[happyone]

Morning Lizzie hunny,

I hope today brings a bit of better feeling for you.
Thinking of you:hugs:
Remember, do feel free to chat or pm any time. I will pm you my msn if you want it.
Happyone
xx

[Lizzie1975]

Ann, GG, Happyone, Caz, Bluebell and Karen,

Your kind messages have bought on another good cry, thank you so much for all your lovely words they mean so much.

I did feel better after my therapist, like a weight was lifted - not totally but partially. I think one of my problems is that I often feel so alone and although I have great people around me, for one reason or another I don't feel I can confide in them about how I feel......it get's boring always being about me and my problems and feelings about nothing.

Happyone, I am still on my AD's, it's just the Diazepam and sleeping tabs I can't have, not to mention my favourite white wine :meh:

I know with my clear mind that i'm happy and that I like my life and want this baby but when I get the 'confused' mind or 'wrong brain' as i call it, I genuinely for that time like and want nothing. Tis so hard having to live through that and trying to remember that it will pass when It feels like i'm in it for an eternity.

I'm seeing the Consultant Obs tomorrow at the hospital, don't know why - probably cos of my meds and pregnancy but i'll see what he says, if I have to carry on with the meds for the whole pregnancy then so be it.

Thank you again so much, i feel better having written on here and reading your replies.

Lizzie xx

[Karen]

Hi Lizzie

Glad you are feeling a little better and I hope you continue feeling better. The down times are very tough to cope with and yet you do cope and come through the other side. :hugs:

I hope all goes well for your appointment tomorrow.

Karen xx

[happyone]

Lizzie hunny,

I'm still thinking of you. I didn't realise you were still on anti d's. Your hormones are probably playing havoc with them though.
It is good you have your therapist and that it helps to talk to him.

take care hunny.
Happyone
xx