Coping with dread

[Kate21]

Hi, any tips for coping with dread? At the weekend I have to go to a wedding evening do with my partner, I don't know the couple so I'm dreading it, then the next day I have to go to a little festival to see his friends band. I'm so worried about being around drunk people I know I won't sleep now until the weekend and I keep getting tension headaches. I wish I could forget about it until the day!

[Greydays]

Hi Kate21, I too suffer with dread, the aching feeling in my chest that I can't shake, it's not nice! Is there a specific thing you are worrying about at the wedding? I find it helps to put myself in others shoes, I bet they are more nervous about getting married in front of lots of people, including people they don't know like you :) As for the gig, have you tried explaining how you feel to your partner? Try channelling your anxiety and Think of the positives instead of focusing in the negatives. Live gigs aren't for everybody so don't be afraid to say no! :) Hope this helps a little x

[snowghost57]

Why are you trying to live in the future? All you have is the present. Focus on today and tomorrow will sort itself out. We must learn to live in the now. Look up Eckart Tolle he, he has you tube videos that are very helpful.

[Kate21]

Yes the chest ache is awful! That's a good idea to look at it that way. I try to think I'm insignificant but my anxiety tells me everyone will look and judge. It's stupid.
My partner has been a bit better with dealing with me but I feel I'd be letting him down if I don't go. I'll wear some big sunglasses and a hat to hide under.
Thanks for the recommendation snowghost. I don't know I seem to have gone from being consumed by my past to obsessing about the future!

[Montyzoo]

This is my experience and I hope it helps:

1. When I am dreading an upcoming event, I ask myself to think back on previous occasions when I felt like this. Then I ask myself: "did it turn out as bad as I imagined it was going to be?" The answer is always no! When it's all over, you'll probably say "it wasn't as bad as I thought!"

2. Be prepared! Make sure you're outfit is all laid out. Make sure you have everything you might need to take along. Make sure you know how to get there. You'll sleep easier the night before.

3. On the day, take it one step at a time and don't think too far ahead.

4. This is really important: most people feel some degree of trepidation towards social events where there will be lots of strangers. Take comfort in knowing you're far from alone in feeling the way you do. It's very likely you'll meet other people in the same boat as you.

I hope this helps :)

[Kate21]

Thanks everyone for the advice, I did have quite a good time in the end. I quite enjoyed the wedding. The music thing was a bit more difficult, I just avoided eye contact if I noticed there were people I knew there and just kept to my small group. I found it overwhelming that even people I would have liked to speak to and catch up with I just couldn't face. But at least I went! I drove there so I felt good having an escape plan if I needed