Is this Anxiety? (I would really appreciate someones input on this)

[Purpledinosaur]

First it started with me not being able to pee in public. I'd get in the restroom and I just couldn't go. It escalated to me not drinking liquids when I am outside of the house as well as me holding pee for hours. I am able to pee in my house, and close friends and families. Just not public. Then I have noticed I am afraid to turn in my tests first. I usually wait until a few people turn in their tests to turn in mine. I'm afraid to leave class to get water, or to throw away food. It then escalated to me having a lump in my throat when I eat. Then I would start feeling like I was going to die.. like I couldn't breathe. Like I had something stuck in my throat. That escalated after my grandfathers recent death. Now I am afraid to swallow all together. I am still eating solids. Just very small pieces with lots of liquid to help me actually swallow it. Sometimes there's a feeling of hesitation, that causes me to panic.. I have trouble sleeping. And wake up feeling unrested. I overthink everything, and I am a borderline hypochondriac.. I don't know what to do. I would love to have someone to talk to.

[AntsyVee]

It sounds like you have both social anxiety and health anxiety.

Do you know what triggered your anxiety? Have you had any stress or major life events (good or bad)?

What have you done to get help for this anxiety?

[Purpledinosaur]

I watched my grandfather die this year... I got REALLY bad after his funeral. That's when the swallowing had come to play..

[AntsyVee]

Grief often brings anxiety. I developed PTSD after finding the body of my best friend in 2014. One of the things that helped me the most was to go to grief counseling. Have you thought about that?

[Purpledinosaur]

Hm I haven't really thought of it. I just know it's getting to the point that I can barely eat.. I choked the night of his funeral, and since then. Haven't been able to fully eat. I get so scared and I hesitate. Which causes me to gag. I miss being able to eat full meals

[Xx_Pringles_xX]

Sorry to your loss and what you listed sounds like the trauma of losing your grandfather just pushed your anxiety over the edge it also kind of sounds like you have separation anxiety. I also do that with tests wait for a few other people to turn them in cause I don't want the teacher to read mine and then give I back saying I did something wrong. Hope you feel better

[AntsyVee]

After my friend's death, I got to the point where I was having panic attacks at least twice a day, especially in the mornings and evenings when I was alone or driving to and from work. I know that's not how he'd want me to live. I want to be able to enjoy my life and do things he never got the chance to. That's how I knew it was time to get help. I'm sure your grandfather wouldn't want you living like you are either. Maybe it's to time to get some help.

[Purpledinosaur]

I would.. but my family thinks I'm fine..

---------- Post added at 18:05 ---------- Previous post was at 18:02 ----------

Right now I'm sitting here trying to eat some pizza. Taking small bites. Chugging water to help me swallow. Chewing everything till it's dead and mushy. I just. I want it to be fine..

[AntsyVee]

Obviously your family doesn't know or understand. How could they think anyone is fine who is grieving and is so anxious they're having trouble eating? I think you need to sit them down for a talk. Can I ask your age? If you're under 18, then telling an adult at school you can't eat well should get a referral to your school counselor and a phone call explaining things to your family real quick. This is how eating disorders develop.

[Xx_Pringles_xX]

When I was having stomach pains it was giving me pretty bad anxiety and my parents thought it was just some trapped gas or something like that until I finally caved in and told them about my anxiety and believe me it really helps after you talk to them about what you are going through It might be hard at first telling them but it really makes you feel a lot better.

[Purpledinosaur]

I Ann 22 but live at home. My parents are paying for my college. I don't have a car.

[AntsyVee]

Most colleges offer counseling services for free. I think you could start there. I would also recommend a talk with your folks about how you're really feeling.

[Purpledinosaur]

My mom knows. My dad told me to stop freaking out about everything... my grandmother knows too. She said I should be able to swallow when I get home.

[AntsyVee]

Well, time to check out the counseling center for help, especially with your family.

[Purpledinosaur]

Yeah. Think I'm going to go when I get to school.