Here I go again :(

[Neochiq]

It's probably been about a year or more since I've gotten so bad that I needed to post, but here I am.

I've got myself convinced I have ovarian cancer. I'm almost 35 years old and I've been doing infertility treatment since December. I also had to have an X-ray of that area...

So at my last appointment for infertility stuff he found some fluid near my ovary. Being a hypochondriac I know fluid is a symptom of cancer. I asked him if he thought it could be something dangerous and he laughed and said 'no it's such a small amount that it's just trapped behind some adhesions from my previous csection. It was 1.7cm of fluid.

I've got myself convinced that it's much more than that... lurking and that's all he ended up seeing. So then last Saturday I took a pretty bad fall and ended up in the ER for a severe ankle sprain... got bruises everywhere... so I'm convinced that the pain all over my body and back/thighs is actually a huge tumor pressing on things and spreading...

Also- nauseous, tired, and I feel much larger around my middle than I already am. I'm a bigger gal due to PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) but I just feel more large lately. Haven't gained any weight though.

So I have risk factors - 1) PCOS 2) underwent fertility treatments

I keep trying to tell myself that nausea can be caused by anxiety, the bloat feeling is in my head and the pain is from me pushing on my insides trying to feel for a tumor... and I hear myself speaking to you all... sounding bonkers... but I can't help it.

My doctor isn't worried... why can't I be not worried too? Help!

[Neochiq]

Any insight?

I keep trying to tell myself that because I've been limping from my ankle injury and compensating for that that maybe that is why my hips and thighs hurt and my lower back. I've been trying to tell myself that the nausea is from my anxiety and worry. But nothing is helping. I keep trying to Tell myself that I have been through this before and had myself convinced that I had some sort of cancer… And I've tried to tell myself that I have been 100% sure just like I am now… But it's not helping me I've got myself too worked up this time. And I hear myself saying that I'm so worked up and it's my anxiety but of course I think I really have ovarian cancer so I would rejoice if it were just my anxiety but I truly feel like I have it

[susie1]

I know how you are feeling. I really do. But ... the consultant is a specialist. he knows what he is looking for. If he had ANY DOUBT he would have done more tests. Please try and relax - I a stupid thing to say because I know you would if you could. Why is it so much easier for us to see that other people's worries are so obviously HA but not our own?
Take care

[Neochiq]

Yeah I just wish I could stop feeling like this and enjoy my life again. This really stinks and I hate it.

But of course I sit here like 'ok it could be my anxiety but 'what if' I wait and it gets worse... what if what if what if. It's exhausting.

Just now I was hunched over and when I sat up straight I had a twinge in my abdomen. First though is that I was pressing on a tumor in there :(

[Neochiq]

Really struggling. Tried to talk to a friend and she was as helpful as she can be but just suggested I see my doctor. Which I know. Just freaking out.

Can anyone reassure me that I probably do not have ovarian cancer?

[Neochiq]

Anyone? :(

[Neochiq]

Help? :(

[Annaboodle]

Hi,

You've been here on these boards a lot longer than me, so you know that no one here can give you a medical diagnosis right? I know we all know that really...

Cause you do seem to have a lot of perspective on your health anxiety, can you have a look back at this, which you posted back in 2013? It was after you had an X-ray to check for a spinal tumour:

"I've moved on to thinking the numbness or tingling is due to an ovarian cancer or something and that a tumor is pressing on my nerves. I have some abdominal pain and of course in my head it is not as simple as a muscle strain... I'm convinced it is ovarian cancer. Sigh. I hate living like this. It's not fun"

What did you do last time to get over the same fear when you had it? Did you speak to your counsellor you mention at the time? Just wondered as it's been such a long time since you posted that. You must've got the fear under control somehow? I know it's ages ago, but it sounds like the same fear pretty much to me is resurfacing its ugly head and distressing you again. I know how scary the fear of ovarian cancer is. It's one of the cancers and illnesses that seems to loom over us HA sufferers the most - the ones with the vaguest of symptoms that are most difficult to diagnose (and therefore easiest by far to self-diagnose sadly).