Careful1
29-07-17, 03:13
Firstly, my name is Tanya and I suffered YEARS of terrible health anxiety. When I was 20 years old I started having heart arrythmias that were brushed off as being panic attacks and anxiety. I knew it wasn't right and the constant worry caused me great anxiety. Finally when I was 22 I found a cardio who worked hard at catching my arrythmias and shortly after I was diagnosed with PVCS, PACS, SVTS and NSVT. I tried different medications and when they didn't work I had an EP study done hopeful for ablation. Unfortunately, the Dr wasn't able to provoke NSVT long enough for mapping and so the ablation never happened. I then went about trying to deal with them as they would be with me the rest of my life.
After being misdiagnosed I developed very bad health anxiety and panic attacks. If I had a headache i had brain cancer or an aneurysm. If I had chest pain, I was having a heart attack, if I was having stomach pains it my bowels had ruptured and on and on. I would run from er to er and Dr to Dr. It never ended. It resulted in MANY unneeded ct scans and x rays and other testing. I have had so many ct scans (some needed) but most not that it actually haunts me. I worry all the time that I will get cancer and it's all my fault because of all the radiation I exposed myself to.
I finally realized, I had no happiness in my life, I was on so many meds I was literally a walking zombie. I had 2 small children at the time and they were suffering because of my state. I knew I had yo do something to get my life back. I worked really hard and did all I could to push the anxiety out and I succeded for the most part. I had a good run of almost 7 years of being anxiety free 90 percent of the time. The anxiety sometimes briefly came back when I was going through a real medical problem but I was able to handle it and push it back where it belonged.
Since March I have been a MESS. It started when I found a mass on my left rib area. I had a ct scan and nothing showed in the area but I could feel it and so could my Dr. It's still there even and has gotten bigger and uncomfortable but since it didn't show on the scan it was brushed off. I started to feel in well a short time later.. lightheadness, fatigue, headaches, short tingles in one part of my body at a time, no appetite and getting full uncomfortably so after only 2 bites of food etc. I have 2nd guessed every single symptom I developed putting off the Dr appts thinking maybe it was just my health anxiety had came back. The left side of my face in front of my ear swelled as did behind my left ear and going down the left side of my neck. I waited a whole month before going to the Drs office about it. He said it was lymph nodes and refered me to an ent who has set me up for a ct scan. I am however trying to get them to see if maybe they can see what's going on there without the use of a ct scan. May be an MRI cause I don't want to add anymore ct scans to my list. Because of the lightheadness and the lump on my ribs starting shortly after each other I had 3 ct scans in May. I didn't want the 2 of my brain but I was admitted to hospital for 5 days for the lightheadness causing me to black out and so they were done there, along with a brain MRI.
I started noticing things popping up on my skin which I later found out from my dermatologist were called spider angionomas, broken callipar veins on my face (they have a specific name but I can't recall) severe itching that was causing me to scratch my skin badly and suddenly towards the end of June both palms of my hands turned red all but the middle that he called Palmer erythema. He advised me to go back to my primary for blood work as these things are seen with liver disease. The ct scan i had done in May did say my liver was enlarged at 20cm but they thought it to be something called Riedel's lobe variant elongation of the right lobe as opposed to generalized true hepatomegaly. That same ct scan als9 noted scattered mesentric, retroperitoneal and upper pelvic lymph nodes seen. My Dr didn't see a need for more testing as my CMP from May he said was normal but I pushed for an ultrasound because I can't ignore what the dermatologist told me and these skin things wouldn't be popping up from no where for no reason. My palms are what really freaked me out.
I have had on going pain in my abdomen since my gallbladder was removed in 2010, it's the same kind of pain just less severe. He finally agreed to the ultrasound. I had it done 2 weeks ago and the results were "diffuse increased echogenicity of the liver suggesting hepatocelluar disease likely caused by fatty liver". I have no idea what hepatocelluar disease is exactly and my Dr didn't seem to know either. I refuse to Google it as I know what googling can lead to. I haven't googled symptoms in many years.
In the last 2 weeks a few more symptoms have appeared. Very bad pains in my bones and joints (I have never had pains like these), feeling like something is biting me like a sand flea bite but nothing is there and I can not tolerate the heat. Not even my beloved heating pad. I get very hot even though I'm sitting in air conditioning esp during sleep. My headaches are strange in that sitting or laying down make them worse. I'm so tired all the time, I have no energy. It's hard to gather enough energy to get up and cook dinner and I just have a general feeling of unwellness. I can't even pick up my 3 year old because I haven't the energy and it's painful.
I am becoming very anxious and had my first panic attack yesterday in 5 years. I'm afraid something is terribly wrong with me. I know anxiety, I remember how it felt but I didn't feel like this. I had the numbness and tingles during panic attacks but the tingles I get now are different and not during panic attacks or periods of anxiety. I got the dizzness during panic attacks that feels nothing like the lightheadness I have been having. All the other symptoms i currently have, I have never had before with my anxiety. When I get up in the morning my body hurts and gets worse at the day goes by. I have never had joint or bone pain before now.
I feel like I'm gonna lose my sanity. I am at this point consumed with worry, everyday that goes by, I feel worse and worse and it's starting to cause me great anxiety.
I know this post is long but I feel very much alone with no one to talk to, no one who understands what I'm going through. All the stuff I have been through in my life, I have never ever felt this afraid.. not even with my heart problems. I'm so afraid I'm gonna die and leave my kids motherless...
Please, any advice from someone/someone's that have been through similar??
After being misdiagnosed I developed very bad health anxiety and panic attacks. If I had a headache i had brain cancer or an aneurysm. If I had chest pain, I was having a heart attack, if I was having stomach pains it my bowels had ruptured and on and on. I would run from er to er and Dr to Dr. It never ended. It resulted in MANY unneeded ct scans and x rays and other testing. I have had so many ct scans (some needed) but most not that it actually haunts me. I worry all the time that I will get cancer and it's all my fault because of all the radiation I exposed myself to.
I finally realized, I had no happiness in my life, I was on so many meds I was literally a walking zombie. I had 2 small children at the time and they were suffering because of my state. I knew I had yo do something to get my life back. I worked really hard and did all I could to push the anxiety out and I succeded for the most part. I had a good run of almost 7 years of being anxiety free 90 percent of the time. The anxiety sometimes briefly came back when I was going through a real medical problem but I was able to handle it and push it back where it belonged.
Since March I have been a MESS. It started when I found a mass on my left rib area. I had a ct scan and nothing showed in the area but I could feel it and so could my Dr. It's still there even and has gotten bigger and uncomfortable but since it didn't show on the scan it was brushed off. I started to feel in well a short time later.. lightheadness, fatigue, headaches, short tingles in one part of my body at a time, no appetite and getting full uncomfortably so after only 2 bites of food etc. I have 2nd guessed every single symptom I developed putting off the Dr appts thinking maybe it was just my health anxiety had came back. The left side of my face in front of my ear swelled as did behind my left ear and going down the left side of my neck. I waited a whole month before going to the Drs office about it. He said it was lymph nodes and refered me to an ent who has set me up for a ct scan. I am however trying to get them to see if maybe they can see what's going on there without the use of a ct scan. May be an MRI cause I don't want to add anymore ct scans to my list. Because of the lightheadness and the lump on my ribs starting shortly after each other I had 3 ct scans in May. I didn't want the 2 of my brain but I was admitted to hospital for 5 days for the lightheadness causing me to black out and so they were done there, along with a brain MRI.
I started noticing things popping up on my skin which I later found out from my dermatologist were called spider angionomas, broken callipar veins on my face (they have a specific name but I can't recall) severe itching that was causing me to scratch my skin badly and suddenly towards the end of June both palms of my hands turned red all but the middle that he called Palmer erythema. He advised me to go back to my primary for blood work as these things are seen with liver disease. The ct scan i had done in May did say my liver was enlarged at 20cm but they thought it to be something called Riedel's lobe variant elongation of the right lobe as opposed to generalized true hepatomegaly. That same ct scan als9 noted scattered mesentric, retroperitoneal and upper pelvic lymph nodes seen. My Dr didn't see a need for more testing as my CMP from May he said was normal but I pushed for an ultrasound because I can't ignore what the dermatologist told me and these skin things wouldn't be popping up from no where for no reason. My palms are what really freaked me out.
I have had on going pain in my abdomen since my gallbladder was removed in 2010, it's the same kind of pain just less severe. He finally agreed to the ultrasound. I had it done 2 weeks ago and the results were "diffuse increased echogenicity of the liver suggesting hepatocelluar disease likely caused by fatty liver". I have no idea what hepatocelluar disease is exactly and my Dr didn't seem to know either. I refuse to Google it as I know what googling can lead to. I haven't googled symptoms in many years.
In the last 2 weeks a few more symptoms have appeared. Very bad pains in my bones and joints (I have never had pains like these), feeling like something is biting me like a sand flea bite but nothing is there and I can not tolerate the heat. Not even my beloved heating pad. I get very hot even though I'm sitting in air conditioning esp during sleep. My headaches are strange in that sitting or laying down make them worse. I'm so tired all the time, I have no energy. It's hard to gather enough energy to get up and cook dinner and I just have a general feeling of unwellness. I can't even pick up my 3 year old because I haven't the energy and it's painful.
I am becoming very anxious and had my first panic attack yesterday in 5 years. I'm afraid something is terribly wrong with me. I know anxiety, I remember how it felt but I didn't feel like this. I had the numbness and tingles during panic attacks but the tingles I get now are different and not during panic attacks or periods of anxiety. I got the dizzness during panic attacks that feels nothing like the lightheadness I have been having. All the other symptoms i currently have, I have never had before with my anxiety. When I get up in the morning my body hurts and gets worse at the day goes by. I have never had joint or bone pain before now.
I feel like I'm gonna lose my sanity. I am at this point consumed with worry, everyday that goes by, I feel worse and worse and it's starting to cause me great anxiety.
I know this post is long but I feel very much alone with no one to talk to, no one who understands what I'm going through. All the stuff I have been through in my life, I have never ever felt this afraid.. not even with my heart problems. I'm so afraid I'm gonna die and leave my kids motherless...
Please, any advice from someone/someone's that have been through similar??