New Here

[Mattheiu]

Hi, I'm new here and to the world of anxiety in a way. I've only recently really been diagnosed with Panic Disorder and despite really trying to understand it it doesn't seem to be really getting any better. My troubles seemed to have started with the passing of my mother in January of 2016, I was at home with her and my father when he came running to me yelling that something was wrong with her and that she was asking for help. I got there and started trying to administer CPR but she wasn't responding, breathing, nothing at all. Instead of what I would have thought was a normal response I seemed to shut down completely, no tears or anything. It wasn't that I didn't care I just didn't know how to express it.

Since that day rain storms have filled me with terror, it seems to slowly be getting better but my anxiety seems to just be latching onto everything else now. I was diagnosed with H. Pylori a little over a month ago now and though I've gone through the therapy for it, I seem to have developed IBS and Gerd. I'm taking Gas-X liberally as well as Prilosec OTC and swigs of Gaviscon to deal with the symptoms while I wait for a Gastroenterology Specialist to see me. Anxiety wise however my life's in shambles; I haven't been able to sit down and focus on writing anything anymore which used to be my safe haven, I've become hypersensitive to my body sensations to the point where my heartbeat sends me into a panic attack.

I'm trying to put my life back together but for some reason it's hard to tell myself it's just panic so you're okay. Prior to these experiences I feel like I've lived a charmed life, I don't think I was ever sick or anything before and now It's all I can think about is that I'm dying every time I sneeze... My first therapy session is in two days and I've been told by a psychologist that he can't help me, I'm thinking about asking my PCP to refer me to another one but I don't know. I'm scared to be a bother to anyone and people/social settings freak me out really bad too. On top of all that, I just got back from urgent care today because my lymph nodes in my neck are swollen and sore, hoping that it's going to be okay. The doctor told me it was because of post nasal drip and that I have water on the ear, he prescribed me with prednisone and singulaire.

Any advice anyone can give me on conquering health related anxiety would really be heaven sent, I took the medicines and took a nap but woke up feeling queasy, ended up having a panic attack even though I knew I was just feeling sick because I'm sick and that the medicines aren't causing bad effects... Anyway, I know I talked a lot but I wanted to say hello and leave a bit of what's going on with me here so you know me a bit. Let me know if you're curious about anything I might have overpassed in my mess of text.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Mattheiu and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[fduop]

Morning Mattheiu. I can certainly relate to what you are going through. I was diagnosed with PD and GAD few years back in 1999. I read you story and would like to say first sorry for your loss. I lost my dad back in 1993 and my mom in 2004, no matter how old you are it's never easy to loose a parent.

Much like yourself my panic attacks started after a stressful event. And for many years after that I was crippled by it. My best advice as a vet of anxiety, stress, and health issues is to find a doctor whom you trust. Over the years I've had good ones and bad ones. So be proactive in finding doctors that have your best interest at heart.

Another thing I wanted to mention is don't be afraid to ask for help. For a really long time I never told anyone publicly about my condition. For fear of shame and public image considering the work I was in. That was a great mistake. The thing is in order to get better you have to look within yourself and figure out what is triggering this. For me it was low self-esteem and abuse, for you it could be any number of things.

The point is be proactive in whatever care you feel comfortable with. Best to you Mattheiu on your journey, remember NMP is here when you need it, believe me it's been here for me a number of times.

[snowghost57]

I'm sorry for your loss. Death is difficult to cope with. I would find a therapist that specializes in grief counseling and CBT. If I were you I would file a complaint with your state's licensing board. What kind of therapist says that to someone? I think a lot of your physical symptoms are related to your anxiety.

[Mattheiu]

I'm sorry for your loss. Death is difficult to cope with. I would find a therapist that specializes in grief counseling and CBT. If I were you I would file a complaint with your state's licensing board. What kind of therapist says that to someone? I think a lot of your physical symptoms are related to your anxiety.

Thank you so much for your post, I'm seeing a new one now who's much more supportive!

[HappyBread]

Thank you so much for your post, I'm seeing a new one now who's much more supportive!

That's a relief. Please don't feel like you'd be a bother to anyone here- we're all here for a reason and we want to help in anyway we can :)

Also, sorry for your loss bud. Talk to us if you ever need to mkay? Glad to have you here with us and definitely hope you'll find some comfort with your time in here :hugs: