frannie
31-07-17, 18:48
So I posted an intro but basically I have had HA for all of my adult life (am 45 now), last major episode was 13 years ago although I've had my "moments" since then but with therapy, medication have managed to avoid a full scale meltdown until now.
Briefly-I've had post-nasal drip from a deviated septum for years, it causes irritation in my throat, mouth breathing, dry mouth and so on. Will probably get surgery at some point, I have trouble exercising because I get out of breath.
The last couple weeks, my left tonsil feels like there's a popcorn kernel stuck in there, it's something I've had on and off for years and have had it checked out (docs have never been concerned or really seen anything) but I made the mistake of looking at my tonsil yesterday and freaked out.
This is what I noticed: the back of my tongue seems uneven when I depress it to see my tonsils (if I stick it out, it's even), the left side seems higher than the right-could it be over the enlarged tonsil? My tonsils are not symmetrical either, the left one seems a little enlarged, ever so slightly. It's also a little red and redness goes up into my soft palate a bit. There's also some kind of skin tag looking flesh colored lump on it, about 2 mm. It seems like that is where the popcorn kernel sensation comes from.
I am worried I have tonsil cancer-I also carry the HPV strain that causes cervical cancer (that is completely monitored and I've had one positive PAP and had a procedure done, I"m not worried about that). I do know that HPV can cause oral cancers, usually in older men but it can happen to women. I know most oral cancers are from tobacco and alcohol use, especially in combination. I did smoke some in high school/college and I "relapsed" 13 years ago and smoked about 2 months.
I've also been poking and prodding my neck so now (of course) it feels sore and like my lymph nodes are swollen.
I did go to my GP in March for an UR bug and he checked my throat. I also had facial x-rays in May for the septum and had a panoramic dental x-ray within the last year-would these have shown any lump/lesion in the tonsil?
I have googled cancer of the tonsil and I know it usually manifests with a painless neck lump but OF COURSE I had to find the patient story that said he felt a popcorn like sensation in his throat....
My doctor has told me post nasal drip can really irritate the throat but I guess I'm bothered it's mostly on side (actually, the irritation is all over the back of the throat but the enlargement is on the left. And I can't really tell if it's enlarged or it's just my anatomy.
So now I'm spiraling into all these negative thoughts, I'm going to die and leave my children, I'm mad at myself for getting HPV, for smoking, for liking wine....:(
One of the biggest components of my HA is leaving my children motherless. My husband is quite a bit older than me and our youngest is 5. Yes, probably should have thought about this before and I certainly have been judged for having children with an older man but part of me feels that you really don't know what will happen in life. My father was 62 when he got sick, 65 when he passed and he was the "normal age" to be a parent, my husband's ex-wife died in her early 50's.
I am not in the US right now, I won't be back in my town until August 6th and so can't see my doc until the 7th and am dreading the next 6 days, how to get through them. I could go see a doc here but am worried what they would say and am more comfortable with my GP (whom I've emailed with my concerns but haven't heard back)
I also have an on/off fear of flying and now it seems to be back so now I'm dreading the 13 hour flights, I'm traveling alone with my children, have to keep a stiff upper lip for them (they have no idea I have anxiety in general or specifically about flying/my health and am trying to keep it that way).
Sorry this is so long but it's good to put down what's been swimming around my head!
Briefly-I've had post-nasal drip from a deviated septum for years, it causes irritation in my throat, mouth breathing, dry mouth and so on. Will probably get surgery at some point, I have trouble exercising because I get out of breath.
The last couple weeks, my left tonsil feels like there's a popcorn kernel stuck in there, it's something I've had on and off for years and have had it checked out (docs have never been concerned or really seen anything) but I made the mistake of looking at my tonsil yesterday and freaked out.
This is what I noticed: the back of my tongue seems uneven when I depress it to see my tonsils (if I stick it out, it's even), the left side seems higher than the right-could it be over the enlarged tonsil? My tonsils are not symmetrical either, the left one seems a little enlarged, ever so slightly. It's also a little red and redness goes up into my soft palate a bit. There's also some kind of skin tag looking flesh colored lump on it, about 2 mm. It seems like that is where the popcorn kernel sensation comes from.
I am worried I have tonsil cancer-I also carry the HPV strain that causes cervical cancer (that is completely monitored and I've had one positive PAP and had a procedure done, I"m not worried about that). I do know that HPV can cause oral cancers, usually in older men but it can happen to women. I know most oral cancers are from tobacco and alcohol use, especially in combination. I did smoke some in high school/college and I "relapsed" 13 years ago and smoked about 2 months.
I've also been poking and prodding my neck so now (of course) it feels sore and like my lymph nodes are swollen.
I did go to my GP in March for an UR bug and he checked my throat. I also had facial x-rays in May for the septum and had a panoramic dental x-ray within the last year-would these have shown any lump/lesion in the tonsil?
I have googled cancer of the tonsil and I know it usually manifests with a painless neck lump but OF COURSE I had to find the patient story that said he felt a popcorn like sensation in his throat....
My doctor has told me post nasal drip can really irritate the throat but I guess I'm bothered it's mostly on side (actually, the irritation is all over the back of the throat but the enlargement is on the left. And I can't really tell if it's enlarged or it's just my anatomy.
So now I'm spiraling into all these negative thoughts, I'm going to die and leave my children, I'm mad at myself for getting HPV, for smoking, for liking wine....:(
One of the biggest components of my HA is leaving my children motherless. My husband is quite a bit older than me and our youngest is 5. Yes, probably should have thought about this before and I certainly have been judged for having children with an older man but part of me feels that you really don't know what will happen in life. My father was 62 when he got sick, 65 when he passed and he was the "normal age" to be a parent, my husband's ex-wife died in her early 50's.
I am not in the US right now, I won't be back in my town until August 6th and so can't see my doc until the 7th and am dreading the next 6 days, how to get through them. I could go see a doc here but am worried what they would say and am more comfortable with my GP (whom I've emailed with my concerns but haven't heard back)
I also have an on/off fear of flying and now it seems to be back so now I'm dreading the 13 hour flights, I'm traveling alone with my children, have to keep a stiff upper lip for them (they have no idea I have anxiety in general or specifically about flying/my health and am trying to keep it that way).
Sorry this is so long but it's good to put down what's been swimming around my head!