Mole turned into a scab! Skin cancer melanoma anxiety *TW - suicidal thinking* [Archive]

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AthenaFaeyrn

02-08-17, 12:24

So around 2 nights ago I felt like there was a spot on my bum. I squeezed it and then turned around and saw it was actually a mole, not a spot. I've had the mole since for as long as I can remember, but it was always flat before (round, about the size of a pencil eraser head, one colour). But the other night, it was a little raised (even the skin around it a bit), and looked maybe a bit darker in colour. It was also itchy and I scratched at it.

The next day, it had scabbed over. A little scratch and it all came off. So it's pretty much just a scab now. I've read that if it doesn't heal up within two weeks, or if it keeps coming off, that I should get it checked out, but I'm just too anxious about this to wait.

I can't stop thinking about it, and I've been thinking a lot about my death and how long I have to live from now, thinking about my life and my history of mental illnesses and even trying to come to terms with the fact that I have been suicidal and that perhaps this is my bodies way of making that happen because I've never had the courage to attempt taking my life myself. I've been trying to reassure myself that this is just how it's going to be and that perhaps it's for the best.

I'm convinced I have skin cancer because I know that this shouldn't happen, and it's a very suspicious thing. I also have another atypical mole on my butt too. (Ugh, not looking forward to showing my mole-ridden butt to the drs!)

I'm seeing my doctor within the next hour, so I'll put an update here with how it goes.

I've struggled severely with HA before this for over a decade, so my boyfriend is absolutely fine, thinking this is just nothing, that I'm being hysterical as usual, and even frustrated because "there always has to be SOMETHING with you, doesn't there?" I feel very lonely in all of this. I can understand why he feels that way, but I don't feel like he understands that I actually now have something that most "normal" people would freak out about because it IS something that could actually be cancer this time!

I can't wait to see the dr soon.

---------- Post added at 12:24 ---------- Previous post was at 11:13 ----------

I've just got back from the dr. He didn't seem worried about my mole / moles at all... He took a look at both of them (the one I call "atypical" and the one that scabbed over) and just... yeah... like he seemed just like they were okay. However I pressed a little bit and he asked me if I'd like to see his skin specialist to which of course I said yes, so that's going ahead now. He said I should be seeing someone within 2 weeks.

My mind is a little more put at ease since he wasn't like taking one look at my butt and reacting like "omg wtf is that you need to see someone right away", so there's that at least.

cattia

02-08-17, 12:33

I've just been to the Dr myself this morning about a mole. He said he wasn't worried about it but he would show a photo to a couple of colleagues and if they thought it looked weird he would refer me to a dermatologist. Of course I'm still worried. I think it's been there for years but now I'm doubtful about that and wondering if it's new! Mole freakout is the worst :(

AthenaFaeyrn

02-08-17, 13:37

ShaunRyder

02-08-17, 15:13

Glad you are feeling a bit better now AthenaFaeyrn, I have moles that have scabbed up due to having a spot on it or knocking it with out realising, I even have that one that constantly peels and the doctor was not worried.

HoldingoutforHope

02-08-17, 16:54

It's a good sign when your doctor says he isn't worried. I have a mole in my armpit that scabs over if I accidentally shave it with my razor :D

The biggest thing to look for is a new sore or "mole" that is scaly or scabs over and doesn't heal. Most pre-established moles are not at risk of being skin cancer. You probably irritated it and the scabbing is what is making it itch. :blush:

melfish

02-08-17, 18:51

My husband had the same thing. He was scratching away at a mole on his back and it scabbed over, and he kept at scratching it and making it bleed again. I got him into the derm, who took a quick look and said, "It's fine. Do you want me to remove it right now so it doesn't bother you anymore?" And he just nipped it off and sent it for biopsy, as is protocol, and it was benign.

I have a largish raised mole on my boob that periodically darkens in places and sometimes gets scaly and peels. I've had it looked at a few times as part of my yearly skin check and it's never raised an eyebrow, despite checking quite a few melanoma boxes.

AthenaFaeyrn

10-08-17, 19:32

UPDATE

I went to the skin therapist / dermatologist today, he checked my moles out, and he also said it was all completely normal and fine! He looked at the other mole I thought was atypical too and said he think it's also fine and he wasn't worried about either of them AT ALL.

I was in and out of his office in the space of about 5 minutes total, completely relieved and overwhelmed. I was SURE that I had skin cancer and was dying! I feel so, so much better.

Amazing! So even if a mole DOES change to the point where it darkens, raises AND even scabs over / bleeds, it doesn't 100% mean skin cancer! He said that the scab is healing nicely and that was that! I'm amazed.

If anyone out there worrying over skin cancer with symptoms similar mine finds this thread, I hope that this will be a message to help counteract the scaremongering of Dr. Google who cries "skin cancer" at every mole change. That's of course not to say "don't get a changing mole checked out", but I just want this to be voice in the vastness of the internet who has found some peace after HA fears have been proven wrong despite being utterly, utterly convinced of having skin cancer.