Wilburis
17-05-07, 23:53
This made me chuckle, what do you think?
> The following is a real letter to a tesco customer:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
>
> While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
> Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
> your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
>
> Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
> surveillance cameras:
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
> trolleys when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
> products aisle.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
> "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told
> shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
> stove.
>
> 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
> began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>
> 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
> picked his nose, and ate it.
>
> 9. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
> "Mission Impossible" theme.
>
> 10 December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
> using different size funnels.
>
> 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
> "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
> 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
> the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
>
> And; last, but not least:
>
> 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
> then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
>
>
> Yours sincerely,
>
> Charles Brown
> Store Manager
> The following is a real letter to a tesco customer:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
>
> While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
> Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
> your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
>
> Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
> surveillance cameras:
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
> trolleys when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
> intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
> products aisle.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
> "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told
> shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
> stove.
>
> 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
> began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>
> 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
> picked his nose, and ate it.
>
> 9. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
> "Mission Impossible" theme.
>
> 10 December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look"
> using different size funnels.
>
> 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
> "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
> 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
> the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
>
> And; last, but not least:
>
> 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
> then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
>
>
> Yours sincerely,
>
> Charles Brown
> Store Manager