josephine

[josephine]

hello

my main problem is i go really red and blotchy whenever i talk to most people. apart from my parents, my husband and son. So u can imagine any social situation is mortifying. Especially things like parents evenings, school functions and other things when u want to come across as being in control.

I have found that i have become trapped in a viscious circle. I fear going red more than anything even the social situation itself. I have learnt to deal with the other symptoms over the years, shaking, low self esteem , feeling generally anxious all the time but i cannot deal with this. it has totally taken over my life.

I get it even with friends and i feel so stupid. My familt tell me not to worry and that no one notices but they do because they say so.

The only thing that helps is atenolol but after 2 years on it ifelt so ill i had to stop. Although i have very high bp icannot take beta blockers on a long term basis.

I am fed up being trapped and controlled by my body. Does any one feel the same as me or have any advice on how to get out of this trap?

hope to hear from u soon

josephine

[bottleblond]

Josephine, i don't know if this is any help but have to tried the foundation that women with facial birth marks use? i don't know what it's called and i guess it would be pretty expensive but if it gives you a little more confidence when going out them i'm sure it would be worth it.
I had a friend years ago who had a very large dark purple birth mark that covered about half of her face, she used to use a special foundation to cover it! it looked very natural and you couldn't see a hint of the birth mark when she had it on!

It may be worth looking into
Good luck hun
LiSA
XXXX

[Piglet]

You know whenever I have met anyone who goes red when I talk to them I have found it really endearing and makes me want to know them more. To me that suggests the person is a sensitive person and some one I would like to get to know.:)

A big welcome to the site! :yesyes:

Piglet :flowers:

[josephine]

Thank you for your replies. Its nice to know other people understand and have time to listen. Thanku Lisa for your advice I might try it out although i have a problem wearing make up. Not sure if it is anxiety but everytime i wear it i get dizzy, flashy lights, palpitations, headaches, everything. Im not sure if it a allergic chemical reaction or i am causing it through anxiety. I get it with perfumes and shampoos too . Weird huh!

love josephine.x

[shaz01]

Hi Josephine,
I know how you feel, I have had this problem for years, when i speak to anyone my face just goes red and to be honest I find it a nightmare, it happens anywhere and everywhere, I try to take a deep breath when I feel it happening but it still goes red. As you mentioned parents nights at the school were always such an ordeal!!!!
I spoke to the doc however he said it happens to many people, and I suppose when you are a fair-skinned person it doesnt help.
I think I will try the green foundation...
Just thought I would let you know there are others out there in the same boat!!!!
Take care,

Shaz x

[josephine]

Hi Shaz

thanku for your reply. I suppose learning to live with it is the hardest thing of all. I have so many social things coming up as well but the only thing you can do is try to ignore it. Thats what my gp says anyway. Easy for her to say!!!!!

Sorry to here you feel the same as me but also nice to hear from people in the same boat.

Take care

Josephine.x

[shaz01]

Hi Josephine, do you find that your the type of person that always feels the heat? I tend to always be warm at work when everyone else is freezing however that could be anxiety making me warmer......I also tend to have a fast pulse rate....I dont know if thats connected!!!! I also find Im worse if Im under the weather or havent had a good sleep, I tend to go redder quicker......I think I have suffered all these years thinking its only happening to me!!!!! Nice to know there are more of us.

Shaz x

[josephine]

Hello Shaz

I do tend to heat up very quickly if im in a warm place and i know that it gets worse if i am anxious. I am not always hot though and sometimes im shivering when other people are warm. I get the two extremes.

I have a fast pulse rate too, but i think that must be anxiety, it does settle down a bit when im calmer but when im anxious it can go up to 120 bpm.
Recently when i was in hospital, they thought their machine was malfunctioning because it said my heartrate was so fast!

Do u have high blood pressure?

I do, but beta blockers made me feel ill. But atenolol stopped my redness completely. It was a shame i had to stop taking them.

Does your redness come out in blotches or is it more even? Mine is all blotchy. Not attractive.!!! I also get it on my arms and chest too.

Anyway, bye for now,

Josephine.x

[jill]

Hi Josephine,

I have suffered redness all my life, it was only when I hit full blown panic, I came in search for help. Ohhhh boy, Nigel IS RIGHT, trying sooo hard to learn, to NOT care about it so much is dame hard, but if you work at it, IT DOES WORK. I still get times when I feel my face go red and forget what I should be doing, but it does work in time, with alot of hard work in thought changing.

My sister does not suffer anxiety, but she is going through the change, (menapause) she goes red and has very bad bloching, she does not give a hoot, this did make me think alot.

I know mine has alot to do with SA, what people think about me, but working on that by reading lots of things on here, I am making progress, but still have more work to do, hay, things take time..

Read as mush as you can, keep practicing, it does work.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

[josephine]

Thanku Nigel and Jill,

I am going to do my best to not let it bother me. I think if i couldnt feel the burning i could cope with it better. I get so hot it, i panic and try and get out of the situation. Feels like sunburn.

Anyway, many people cope with things far worse than me. I just have to try and calm down a bit.

Thanks again,

Love Josephine.x

P.S Thanks for the website info, Nigel. I will have a look.:)

[shaz01]

Hi Josephine,

When I get my bp checked it is high however the doc thinks its anxiety(white coat syndrome) and my pulse apparently is the highest he has ever seen, I am not on medication for it although I am getting monitored regulary so I can see eventually i will get medication. I cant get betablockers as I am asthmatic.
My face tends to go red all over however sometimes my neck can look blotchy but not often, its more the face.
Today the office was really warm so when its warmer I do go red quicker which is a nightmare when you are talking to someone and you are fine to start with and then as the convo keeps going you are getting redder.
I am going to look at different make ups to try and help however I do feel when Im worrying about it it is worse therefore I do know if I forget about it and dont bother when it happens then it will probably calm down however its is soooooo hard.
I asked the doctor about an operation that cuts the nerve to the face, I read about it in a magazine, however the doc didnt entertain this haha.
I hope your having a good day,

Shaz x

[josephine]

Hi Shaz

I have white coat syndrome too. My gp wants me to get a bp monitor for me to use at home to see if bp goes down when i am relaxed. I had 24 hr monitor at hospital a few years ago, and it went down when i was asleep and resting. Hope it does the same this time.

Dont think i would consider an operation to stop redness. Seems so drastic. Just got to learn to live with it i suppose.

Anyway, hope you are ok.

Love Josephine.x

[debbie2007]

Hi Josephine, sorry to say this but its great to meet someone at last like me. I have always felt so alone and that no-one ever understood how i felt. I have suffered with blushing all my life, at school, having to do things infront of people, getting photos taken is a dread - i even went to hypnosis when my brother was getting married 5 years ago as i knew id have to be in the main photos, and dreaded this, also i dread eating infront of people, when my partner and i go for a meal he has to sit beside me as i hate facing people. We were recently away for a week holiday and one of the days we went on a train, we had to sit separately and when the seat beside him became vacant he tapped my shoulder (as I was sat on the seat behind him) and said to come and sit beside him, I said i was ok where i was .. i didnt want to move as people would be looking at me and also the seat he was sat in had people sitting opposite and I knew Id go red moving from where I was, he was really annoyed at me later, and I just feel that no-one really understands. I would come out in bloches all on my chest, even spreading to my arms, and all over my face and even my ears are red, its an awful feeling and I too would give anything for some help. I work, and I even take an earlier break as I dread the thought of going to the staff room, and if people come I would make myself busy like making a pot of tea for everyonelse, putting it on the stove then make an excuse to go to the loo or something. I dont go to work 'do's' meals etc for fear of going red and ending up flustered all night. I hate people singling me out to ask a question, i feel like everyone is then watching 'me'. I like to be in control of situations, ie know what a particular place is like, is it dark etc. I even dont like to do things infront of my kids, even sitting at a table eating dinner. Maybe you and i could swap notes and try and help eachother through this.. im not sure if i am allowed to give u my email debbie.mcqueen@ntlworld.com hope you are ok x

[shaz01]

Hi there,

I wonder why some people go red and others dont, do you think its to do with anxiety? My GP basically said some people were like that. I think its one of these situations that because it happens we worry about it more and it just gets worse. I hate meeting people in the supermarket and having to stand and chat, I also hate meetings where you have to speak, I sometimes also wonder if its to do with the fact you feel 'trapped' cause when your talking to someone you cant just escape... I really dont know but life would be so much easier if I didnt go red, even things like interviews, it puts you off applying for other jobs cause you know what will happen at the interview.
Debbie, you mentioned tea breaks at work, I make my friend go for a walk at lunch with me cause I know if Im in the canteen and someone else comes and speak I will go red. I am however quite

[shaz01]

gosh never got that finished lol

I was going to say I think of myself as a confident, friendly person and I do have lots of friends however I do like my comfort zone and I just dont understand why this happens. I do remember though as far back as when I was 16years(im 41 now) and I worked in a shop after school and I even remember then that when someone I knew came in I would go bright red, so its not something thats just recently happened.

Anyhow I hope everyones doing fine tonight.

Take care,

Shaz x x

[jill]

Hi Shaz :D

Just caught up with this thread,

You are wondering why some people go red and other don't, I think you answered your own question there, people who don't suffer anxiety, don't have shallow comfort zones, they are more confident, when meeting people.

**I do like my comfort zone** you will find, that if you look carfully at each time you go red, you feel out of you confort Zone.

**I even remember then that when someone I knew came in I would go bright red,** at these times you felt for reasons only you will know, you felt out of your comfort Zone, lack confidence, because you new this person.

I know that for me, lack of confidecne and low self asteam was magor factors, I have worked hard on myself asteam, ohhh I like myself now LOL but my confidence is dame hard to work on, I'm chaning a habbit of a liftime here, so this is going to take alot more time.

Soo, you have your answer, everytime you go red you feel out of you comfort Zone,your thought patten are negative, check all thoughts, to even know what a comfort zone means, you must understand this a little and know that its a must to change your way of thinking and work on how to widen your comfort zone, learn how to feel comfortable in any situation, ohh working at this and its dame hard. Trying dame hard to take my own advice

I wish you all well and I know that one day, we will all widen are confort zones :yesyes:

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX