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angiebaby
21-05-07, 19:00
I have not been doing too bad on the ectopic front but i have now been on my Omeprazole for 6 weeks. I have been referred for a barium meal, probably take about 2 months for that.
I have had my MRI scan, two weeks ago, one on my head and one on my neck. I was very traumatized by this as i was on the table and couldn't move, just like the operation i had that started all this and gave me PTSD. But i managed and just have to wait for the results now.
I get between 1 and 6 ectopics and somedays i do not have any, which is great. But then of course when you do get 1 you feel worse because you haven't had one for a while, typical, you just can't win can you? http://palps.chemicalforums.com/yabbfiles/Templates/Forum/default/rolleyes.gif
I am sufferering terrible at the moment with depersonalization/derealization/unreality at the moment. I know what it is and i try not to be scared by it but it really is scary when you don't even recognize your own family, let alone yourself. You also don't know where you are or what you are doing and it is horrible. Nothing helps, i take a deep breath, a good swallow and try and carry on until it passes. Sometimes it can last for ages. I understand why this happens and it is very common with PTSD, i feel like i AM still in shock. That is my best description for how i feel i think, floaty and fuzzy, very hard to describe. Still getting the dizziness and my ears ring and shut off too. Of course this does not help.
Now for the past few days i have noticed that my face is very, very flushed and feels like it is on fire!! When i am outside the air on my face feels like it is cutting me, my face feels that hot. It is constant and my face also looks very red. Not just my cheeks either, my chin and forehead. My neck feels hot and also my shoulders and hands. There is no logical reason for this and i have not taken my temperature since this started a few days ago and then it was 98 degrees. Which i know is a little hot but i thought it was down to the weather. But now it's been going on too long for that and it doesn't change. When i wash my hands, even in warm water, the water feels cold as my hands are that hot. I know that i have a neck problem and apart from that, or because i take omeprazole, i do not know what it could be.
I have been having that 'feeling of impending doom' quite a bit over the past few days too. Worried now about this flushing i suppose. While i am sitting here my face and shoulders feel like they are on fire. I know that i have PTSD and also anxiety and depression and i am desperate to get out of my job and cannot find another and all of this does not help. I don't really want to go off sick but it is now getting to such a stage that i am thinking of getting in touch with my therapist, who cannot treat me she says until i get the MRI results to see if there is a physical problem too, and asking if i can see her anyway, before i get the results, as i am thinking that i really need some help now. Even thinking of going on anti depressants, which means i must feel bad to do this with all the problems i have had in the past and they started a lot of my problems anyway. Just feel 'not right, not me, ill!' and this scares me. Sorry to go on, long post i know. Anyone have any ideas please? http://palps.chemicalforums.com/yabbfiles/Templates/Forum/default/cry.gif

prin
22-05-07, 01:53
Hi Angiebaby
I know how frustrating and scary all of what you are going through is but its all very normal under the circumstances. D/p is my biggest symptom along with a tone of other head symptoms, but i am beginning to just ignore them and try as much as i can to keep busy. I also get very off balance from my head to my feet along with others as i said, so to keep motivated at times can be very hard, but i find it is the best thing to do. The symptoms are bad enough but then with racing thoughts on top of it all it almost seems impossible to recover. Just keep moving forward to the best of your ability, try not to pay any attention to the thoughts or the symptoms and you will start to realise they will slowly just vanish.
One thing i struggle with at the moment is feeling half human and i tend to worry alot about that, i get the doom feeling as well when i feel that way or when i just get on with things around the house etc... i mean its lovely to be able to get up off the bed and do things but on the other hand feel so odd and weird about doing a bit of what any normal person would do in a day lol

Anyway as i said, it all sounds very normal and again, try not to pay too much attention to it all, as we all know, the more attention we give this the harder it hits us. I hope this helps you out a little :)

take care, best wishes
prin

angiebaby
22-05-07, 18:07
Thankyou Prin, it is very hard and is even harder to understand!! Thankyou for understanding what i am going through at the moment, and for making me feel like i am not the only one with the 'weirdest' symptoms, lol. You just don't feel right do you, it is so hard to explain. Thanks again.x