how do i calm someone down who is having a panick attack?

[ickle baby les]

hey, i'm new on this website and i don't suffer from any anxiety related problems at all, but my partner does and i thought i would join this site to talk to people about their experiences and to get a general idea on how it effects individuals.
i was just wandering if anyone has any tips or suggestions on how to care for someone who suffers from agraphobia/panick attacks and what should i do whilst they are feeling panicky?
any information from anyone would very be appreciated and i hope to hear from you soon,
thanks so much.
Ickle xxx

[geordie flower]

Hiya, i dont have any experience of agrophobia but i do of panic attacks. I find that wen i get the warning signs of a one the best thing i can do is to go away on my own somewhere and deal with it, i get the feeling that i just want to escape, i dont want anyone around me, ive always been quite an independant person so i dont know if this is why.You could ask your partner and see if he feels like this then maybe give him some space.I dont know if this is any help to you, good luck and take care. tracey x:)

[spiral]

there is no consistant answer to what you should do bcos every panic attack is differant.
my only advice would be to be patient and follow your partners lead.
sometimes it helps if my partner hugs me but sometimes i can't stand to be touched. usually it helps if he talks to me and tries to distract me but sometimes i can't concentrate on what he's saying.
the fact that you're on here shows that you're interested in helping your partner which is great and i'm sure they appreciate that.

[groovygranny]

Hello,

It's a long time ago I had a full blown panic attack but I remember the overwhelming need to feel safe and secure.

This, coupled with patience on the part of my hubby and the close friends who we were visiting at the time, served to reduce the stress and shorten the actual attack. I still felt very shaky and vulnerable over that night (we were staying in a B&B so well out of my comfort zone which was home!) but the support I got was invaluable.

Hope this helps you out a bit.

:flowers:

[yorkylover]

Hi ickle,My last full blown PA was scarey and my partner had never seen me have one like this full blown.He was brilliant bless him.He sat with me and rubbed my back,he talked to me and tried to get me to think about nice things.Just having someone there is a great help.Its scarey being alone when having a PA.:hugs:

[LadyBug]

HI...everyone is different. But, the counselor that I see says that rubbing up and down the spine of the back of someone having an anxiety/panic attack will help ease the fealings. Also, something that helps me is if my hubby does one of two things. One: Tell me to imagine that I am back on our honeymoon in the islands laying on the beach...etc. It was a relaxing time, so thinking about it distracts me from my panic. Two: He reminds me to not fight the attack just let it go through me and welcome it in. That is the only true way to beat panic. It is SO great of you to want to support your partner he/she is very lucky to have you! Best wishes!

[darkangel]

Hi

First of all let me say its great you have taken the time to come on here to find out how to help. Having had panic attacks and depression for a number of years with very negative support from my partner, the one thing I wanted the most was for him just to hold me and reassure me that it was only panic and I would be okay.

[blackie]

Hiya
I think its great that you have come onto this site to try and help your partner. They are lucky to have you.
I suffer from agorophobic and still live with my parents. The thing that helps me is for them not to be angry at me when i have a panic attack. Also distraction is really helpful. Have you asked your partner what will help him/her. Talking can be really helpful.
Take care
Blackie

[honeybee]

hello...

i think the most important thing is to remember that even though what your partner is feeling is irrational IT IS VERY VERY REAL TO HIM/HER...

everyone is different, i think you should ask your partner when he/she is not anxious how they'd like you to react to them when he/she is panicing

i have found that when someone has taken the time to sit, hold my hand and help me to remember to breath it has helped dramatically... just reminding your partner to breath from the stomach with long deep breaths, maybe even doing it with him/her can really help.

unless you've had a panic attack yourself you'll never understand the true feeling of fear that one feels during it... for example, imagine you're just crossing a road and you see a car speeding towards you, your immediate reaction would be to run, well imagine if you couldn't run, imagine that the fear you'd feel knowing you were about to be hit by a car going 70mph, and that feeling lasting as long as your partners panic attack, well thats how scary it is...

im also agoraphobic but my partner has helped me by being understanding, for example, there were a lot of things i wanted to do but were scared if i did i'd panic, for example, going out for dinner. my partner always made it clear that if we went out and i started feeling really bad he'd bring me home. even though its not a good idea to run away from those situations it gave me the courage to take the 1st steps to going out again. knowing that he understands that what im feeling is real to me has helped me not feel so ashamed of it.

i hope this helps

[Lindalou64]

Hello I Think Its Great You Want To Help,just Being There Not Judging, Like Someone Said Rub The Back And Shoulders Where The Tension Is Or Head, Distract Talk ,worse Thing Tho Is To Baby Your Partner Sound Cruel No It Means So They Dont Stay In This Rut, Your P Is Very Lucky To Have Ya .....its Hard Dealing With This Alone..........best To Ya....linda Xx

[Piglet]

im also agoraphobic but my partner has helped me by being understanding, for example, there were a lot of things i wanted to do but were scared if i did i'd panic, for example, going out for dinner. my partner always made it clear that if we went out and i started feeling really bad he'd bring me home. even though its not a good idea to run away from those situations it gave me the courage to take the 1st steps to going out again. knowing that he understands that what im feeling is real to me has helped me not feel so ashamed of it.

i hope this helps

This is what my kids are like with me and I find that the most helpful of all!!

Piglet :flowers:

[chellebelle]

I just couldn't leave this post without giving you a huge thumbs up for coming to this site and actively looking for guidance about how best to help your partner. The key for me is for my bf to stay patient, try to his very best understand and to try not to get angry when he has to reassure, reassure, reassure me that I'm okay and I'm not going to die.

[Smarteenie]

Hi there. Really great of you to want to support your partner in this way. Bizzarly enough, I have never had a panic attack when my husband has been around but the worst thing someone told me once was to 'snap out of it' and 'pull myself together'. I know it's all down to the individual but I fell very unwell when I'm just about to have an attack or when I've just had one and this feeling can last all day. A paramedic attended me once (the person I was with didn't know I had panic attacks and thought I was having a heart attack so called an ambulance) but used to suffer himself and taught me the basis of breathing properly and distraction (thinking about something else). It is really scary and you can feel very alone. Has your partner seen this site? I think it is one of the best helps I have received. Take care. X