Lifeofanxiety
03-08-17, 05:32
Just going to post this out there....
So my depression is sort of linked to my anxiety but it is VERY complex and a unique situation I guess.
I might post more about the anxiety in the other section of the forum.
So I had anxiety problems all of my life (again those are complex, perhaps inherited, it's not as anxiety typically is). This has caused me to struggle. Struggling to make friends and make a life for myself. The people in my life that I always had were my mum and another family member. Both had really horrible illnesses and the other family member passed away first.
Already I was really low with depression because of what anxiety was doing to me. Medical professionals often misdiagnosed this. I knew though, as mum was ill too, if she passed away (which was likely sooner, rather than later), I would be in a very dire situation as things were with not only anxiety and depression but complete isolation.
I tried absolutely everything to avoid being in that situation. I contacted mums support workers, her social worker, many other gp's, the local council and even the police a few times. All to explain my situation, how I need help and in short I was hoping that by contacting them all I would get a combination of help which included being taken seriously, getting the right treatment, being involved in carer support and other activity groups and perhaps having someone who could look out for my wellbeing.
You know what? Nobody wanted to know. The responses were either there was nothing they could offer me, I am not a risk to myself or other people and so i'm not a high priority, or they would see what they can do (and I never heard back from them).
Now, last year, yep mum died and yep i'm in the situation I badly tried to avoid..... Total isolation.
Medical professionals who dealt with mum were fully aware of this but not 1 of them wanted to help while she was alive or after she passed away.
My depression levels have plummeted so low that I just don't feel I can recover.
I have explained this over and over to a new GP I saw but it's the same generic help.
I don't qualify for a support worker because I am not ill enough. The only help I do get is telephone CBT for the anxiety which is total garbage. All they do is tell me stuff I already know and make silly suggestions like walking down the road and back home.
The lowness is so bad that every second of everyday is a rock bottom. It only takes 1 thought of missing mum, not having friends due to what anxiety has caused or the feeling of loneliness to push me into going for that quick, instant fix of gambling or drinking.
I expect some might say it's escapism. But what am I actually escaping from? The situation is what it is. I'm isolated, anxiety has drained my life before the isolation and still does. I am powerless to change that.
I can't just magic up friends. I certainly can't magic back my family either.
So my depression is sort of linked to my anxiety but it is VERY complex and a unique situation I guess.
I might post more about the anxiety in the other section of the forum.
So I had anxiety problems all of my life (again those are complex, perhaps inherited, it's not as anxiety typically is). This has caused me to struggle. Struggling to make friends and make a life for myself. The people in my life that I always had were my mum and another family member. Both had really horrible illnesses and the other family member passed away first.
Already I was really low with depression because of what anxiety was doing to me. Medical professionals often misdiagnosed this. I knew though, as mum was ill too, if she passed away (which was likely sooner, rather than later), I would be in a very dire situation as things were with not only anxiety and depression but complete isolation.
I tried absolutely everything to avoid being in that situation. I contacted mums support workers, her social worker, many other gp's, the local council and even the police a few times. All to explain my situation, how I need help and in short I was hoping that by contacting them all I would get a combination of help which included being taken seriously, getting the right treatment, being involved in carer support and other activity groups and perhaps having someone who could look out for my wellbeing.
You know what? Nobody wanted to know. The responses were either there was nothing they could offer me, I am not a risk to myself or other people and so i'm not a high priority, or they would see what they can do (and I never heard back from them).
Now, last year, yep mum died and yep i'm in the situation I badly tried to avoid..... Total isolation.
Medical professionals who dealt with mum were fully aware of this but not 1 of them wanted to help while she was alive or after she passed away.
My depression levels have plummeted so low that I just don't feel I can recover.
I have explained this over and over to a new GP I saw but it's the same generic help.
I don't qualify for a support worker because I am not ill enough. The only help I do get is telephone CBT for the anxiety which is total garbage. All they do is tell me stuff I already know and make silly suggestions like walking down the road and back home.
The lowness is so bad that every second of everyday is a rock bottom. It only takes 1 thought of missing mum, not having friends due to what anxiety has caused or the feeling of loneliness to push me into going for that quick, instant fix of gambling or drinking.
I expect some might say it's escapism. But what am I actually escaping from? The situation is what it is. I'm isolated, anxiety has drained my life before the isolation and still does. I am powerless to change that.
I can't just magic up friends. I certainly can't magic back my family either.