Anxious/Overthinking/negative feelings

[Strength_]

Hi there,

For 4 years I have suffered with anxiety and although I did CBT which helped and I got better. It has come back with a vengeance.

Long story short, I was with my ex for 6 years and we recently split up because it wasn't working. Needless to say, he was very hurt and I am still hurting because I'm not a horrible person and i really did hurt him. Anyway, during the last 2 months of the relationship, i was getting close to a friend... me and this friend are now in a relationship but i have been told by many friends that i should have given myself time to recover and be single before moving on into another relationship.

I don't think this is helping my anxiety in the slightest because i am already feeling sensitive, I'm doing a lot of stuff for him and just feeling incredibly low when i should be happy. I overthink almost everything that is said or that colleagues say and I'm finding it hard to cope.

I will be ringing talking therapies in the week but just wondered if anyone had any advice on the situation? I don't want to have an anxiety attack infront of him but I'm pretty sure i will and some point which worries me because he doesn't know the severity of my anxiety.

Thanks in advance.

[Fishmanpa]

i have been told by many friends that i should have given myself time to recover and be single before moving on into another relationship.

Having been there, done that, your friends' advice is spot on.

Positive thoughts

[Strength_]

lol not quite the response i was looking for but i appreciate your honesty

[AntsyVee]

Stress is always going to cause your anxiety to peak. It's just something that you will need to be mindful of, probably for the rest of your life. So if something happens like a break up, you're going to feel anxious.

That said, I do agree with your friend and Fish. I think therapy will help again, and I also think that it will help you examine what kind of relationship you want in the future.

Also, if he can't handle that you have anxiety, he isn't a keeper anyway. You obviously aren't one of those people that has anxiety and doesn't do anything to work on it.

[snowghost57]

My therapist told me to write the situation down. This is an excerpt from a book "The feeling good handbook" by David Burns, M.D.

What is the situation? Only the facts.

Thoughts or beliefs? Self talk.

Feelings, how do you feel as a result of your thoughts?

Dispute thoughts or beliefs. What is unrealistic in your thinking? What are your dogmatic shoulds and musts?


I don't "fight" anxiety. I challenge my thoughts, I ask myself what value do they have? I started out by writing them down, now I do it in my head.

I did these steps 20 times a day if I had too. I've been thinking about anxiety and we keep saying it came back, it's bothering me again. There is no IT, we are in control of our thoughts. Someone posted on here that a thought is a wisp of wind or smoke. We have to get out of our own heads!

We can overcome anxiety! It takes work and practice.