Are you a health worker?

[Amanda3266]

...and if so does it make your health anxiety worse?

I am a nurse and health visitor. Over the years I have done all the things NOT recommended like searching through medical books and Googling symptoms (I no longer do either as I end up scaring the feck out of myself).
:wacko:

One of the worst things is that I have a tendancy to look at rare (and I do mean rare) incidences of illness and then develop the same symptoms!

Over the years I have had:

Eczema on my breast near the nipple - a medical book very helpfully :huh: told me that this could be a sign of a certain kind of breast cancer. The fact that I suffer from dry skin and am prone to skin complaints completely passed me by. I drove myself (and my GP) loopy fopr weeks until it went. (and it DID go - that was 6 years ago and it never came back).

I developed what in my mind was a rare form of heart failure after caring for a young woman with the same. Constantly checked my pulse and worried that it was so high. Again the fact that the pulse rate increases under stress passed me by. Again I am alive and well several years later.

Cancer is a specific fear and any little problem can convince me that I have the dreaded C word. This is worse when I am stressed and any little symptom can tip me over the edge(where I am at the moment). The train of thought going through my head over a tiny blister is irrational and bizarre (in my head it's a weeping wound due to an underlying tumour:ohmy: :weep: ) - but in reality my feelings are not about the blister - they are about other issues.

I have cared for people with cancer - many who were cured by treatment - some who were not BUT I can count on one hand the number of people I knew personally who had cancer and died (that's over the period of my 41 years).
They say 1 in 3 people will get some form of cancer (so that means two thirds of us won't):) and many of those who do are cured.:)

Working in the health sector makes me worse and I have minimised my exposure to this by working as a health visitor with young families rather than in hospitals where I come into contact with the illnesses I fear most.

Just wondering how many others with health anxiety work within the health sector. In any health job you can have contact with patients and information - does it make you worse? Or do you think it makes no difference and you'd be like this anyway?

[manmoor]

Hi Amanda,

I think you deserve a medal hun. Iv'e had health anxiety for 11 years now and theres absolutely no way I could be a nurse or health visitor. I've lost count over the years the amount of cancers I've diagnosed I've had the big C word in every single part of my body. I couldn't cope with all that health information phew I was a google addict for years and knew where that got me. You must be a strong person to do the job you do. :hugs: xxx

[Jaco45er]

Hiya

All my fears rolled into one, health anxiety.

I had a little lump once (male) and convinced myself I had C. See, I can't even say the word it terrifies me.

The hearts my biggest worry, god knows why no one in my family that I know of has ever had heart problems so far.

I am not as bad as I was, but I still have bad spells that (touch wood, hang on that's OCD ?) don't last too long thankfully, as I can come to terms with my negative thoughts quicker than I used to.

I am not a health worker, I respect you guys that work in that arena:yesyes: , but I would get ill by proxy lol, I am of a far too suggestive nature.

I have been having a rough couple of weeks, I hit 40, and was reading about people dying at 40, and its taking me a wee while to get the thoughts under wraps at the moment (silly I know).

I would have a mid-life crisis but I haven't matured enough yet ;)

TC

Jaco

[cattttt]

I'm a health worker too and yes it does somtimes make me worse. On the other hand, when I was really bad earlier this year, the hospital was about the only place I could relax as I felt safe there, as long as I avoided the things I was scared of at the time, not easy as I often have to work on my own.

[Dying_Swan]

Hey :)

Thanks for this post! I think it's great. I'm a health worker, and yes I think it can make it worse. I've always heard that a little bit of knowledge is a bad thing - you either want to know it all or nothing at all, so that you don't worry!

I had an operation in January and have a grave fear of General Anaesthetics, that is totally irrational. Just before they anaesthetised me, they had to sedate me because I was shouting about Morphine antedotes etc. That wouldn't happen if you knew nothing about it! I also checked my own oxygen saturations etc because I didn't think all was well. Again, probably not something you'd do if you weren't trained :winks: I think they were probably quite pleased when I went home :yesyes:

Yea, I do think it can make it worse...."I have a pain in my leg...It's a DVT!" is one of my favourites.

Currently I am obsessing about a mole which I think might be C, despite having no symptoms and a perfect set of blood results. Oh dear!

Happy Days :yesyes: xxx

[lass]

I'm a medical secretary and almost every report I type up I think - I've got that!

However, the job does have it's benefits in having access to good medical information whenever I need it! And I confided once in one of the doctors that I work for, so now I also have someone I can speak to if I am really worried.

[angiebaby]

I am terrible. I know that we are not supposed to 'live in the past' but i find myself doing that a lot and of course wanting to be the 'person' that i used to be. But i even think back to my hospital days and wish that i had never left!! So that must be bad! LOL.x

[Amanda3266]

So glad I am not alone out there. Agree that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing and you don't need to be a nurse or doctor to be exposed to it in the health service.

My GP sort of knows what I go through - he's an ex-colleague so I feel really silly saying "Hey Mike, I think I have x,y or z". He looks at me with a bemused expression and then says something like "Why on earth would you think you have that"? Then offers me a general health check if it's been over a year since the last one - this involves lots of blood tests and BP check - I don't relax until they all come back normal.

Liver Function Tests are always way out due to Seroxat, however, have been off that for a while now - perhaps I need to go back on it.

My best male friend is a consultant psychiatrist and if possible is even worse than me. Always worrying that this or that might be wrong but like me recognises thbat the thoughts are not rational.

[angiebaby]

My head just feels like it's not on my body and i'm still very dizzy and out of it. I am only on Omeprazole/Losec for my stomach and have been thinking that even these are giving me side effects. Struggling right now myself.

[Charlottie]

I'm only 16 but I want to go into children's nursing when I get to uni. I was going to be a midwife at first because of my emtophobia and health anxiety but my mom said I can't let it stop me so I decided on nursing. :)

[angiebaby]

You go for it. You should do what you want to do and don't let anything bother you at all. It's just that i am not strong enough to carry on at the moment and need a bit of time out i think. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.x

[Dying_Swan]

Angie - how's it all going? What sort of job are you looking for?

Amanda - no you definitely aren't alone. I find it interesting just how many health workers there are on NMP. I have found myself glued to the BNF and then rushing to the doctor's many times!

Take care folks xxx

[debbsi]

I'm a health worker in Occupational Therapy in an acute hospital based mainly on a stroke ward and acute medical, so I see alsorts of nasties. Convinced I have something wrong with my brain due to tingling but after reading the symptoms on this site I've calmed down. Once I've convinced myself I have something I find it very difficult to let it go, having CBT at the mo, the therapist thinks I'm doing very well, but I think its the professional brave face I always put on in public, I find it hard to release.

[angiebaby]

Hi Swan, i don't know what i want to do. I know that i should think positive and believe me, at work today, i have really tried thinking good and positive thoughts, but it just hasn't done any good at all. In fact i think i felt worse. I'm just a mess at the moment.

[Amanda3266]

charlottie - good for you re the children's nursing - go for it and don't let this fear hold you back.

angiebabie: I wrote a long post earlier with you in mind and the bleddy PC lost it when I tried to post.:mad: . Fecking computers.:wacko:

You sound depressed -you've been ill and you're evidently not feeling great at the moment - more than enough reason to say to your own GP that you don't feel up to work at the moment. Can you go off with depression or something and have some time to think about things?

A new direction sounds good and a change from the unsupportive sounding environment you are in at the moment has to be positive. Hope you are okay.

[angiebaby]

Thankyou Amanda, this is so horrible ain't it. Never thought i would be like this, i am a completely different person to how i used to be. I just hope that i can be who i 'should' be again. But then again i bet we all wish that don't we. Thankyou for your support. I have had a bad day today too. I hate this feeling, i understand what it is and why it happens, or is supposed to, but it still scares the hell out of me. Coupled with the dizziness, whoa, blows my mind. I hate being like this.

[angiebaby]

OH BOY, sorry Amanda, i have just looked back to the other posts and i have already put about my day today. You know i cannot even remember doing that! This really scares me, is this normal, to do things like this and not know and not remember like this? It's freaking me out now, especially when i didn't know i'd already been on and put on that post earlier. Oh good grief. Please tell me this is normal.

[Amanda3266]

Hi angiebaby - don't worry about repeating yourself in posts - I do it all the time. It's called stress and you sound like you have alot to be stressed about at the moment. What else would you like to do for work if not nursing - GP surgeries can be very cliquey places (as I well recall). There have to be easier ways of earning a living.

[angiebaby]

Thanks, i really don't know what to do. I think i made a 'sort of' decision for now this morning. I have decided that i will try and carry on the best i can until i get my MRI results, will be 4 weeks since i had them done on Saturday!! When i get the results, if i have got something physical - chiari malformation or ms or something then i will need time off to accept and deal with it then obviously another job. If the results are clear, then i will have to accept that most of my problems are mental ones and i will need time off for my therapy! There you go. Sorted. LOL.
Been thinking about going back into working with kids, although no jobs going. Perhaps a nursey, playgroup or school. But i will have to do some studying online before i would be accepted i think. I have been out of working with kids for a while and they would want a recent qualification or experience i believe. Apart from that i just don't know. I had my heart set on that school nurse support worker, term time only, and three days a week. But i didn't get it. I am too over qualified for all the things that i apply for, worse luck. I have gone as high as i can and now i am well and truly stuck. Have you got any ideas of what i could do please?

[Amanda3266]

Hi angiebabie,

Have you thought about another GP surgery - a smaller one without all the pressure of the large surgeries. You could probably do the job standing on your head.

Community Nursery Nursing - what's your qualification? I know you don't necessarily need a CNN qualification to do the job - just be able to offer support and advice to parents.

I think your idea of taking some time off whatever the results of your tests is a good one. Make it a really positive time for you and take stock of where you are and - more importantly - where you want to be. Take care.

[Dianepine]

Hi, my health anixety has got worse sence I have been working in medicine, so yes I do belive that medical work doesnt help.

Take Care xx

[angiebaby]

I look every day on line and there is nothing at all. I have all the care qualifications, 1,2 and 3. But these are in care, not childcare. Although i would be willing to do them, i like studying and keeping my brain going!! LOL
I am going to sign up to the open college next week, i have the forms, to do a childrens psysiology diploma. I like to just keep gathering all the things that i can. However, now i am too highly qualified for most jobs and that is a right pain! I have all the course qualification that i need to do my job at the moment, and more, but none in child care since i did child care at college in 1986-1988. Stuck at the mo really, but i do still keep looking and hoping every single day. I would love to run and family business but what in??? Also the thought of going through all the stuff to get it sorted and started and learning about tax and book keeping and stuff, yuk!! LOL.
Anyway, i will keep you posted if i find anything and if you have any other ideas of what i could do i would be very interested, thankyou.

[seeker]

I am not a health worker as such, but a secondary school teacher of biology - almost as bad, in many ways! I have to teach the kids all about what can go wrong etc - although dissecting lungs did make me stop smoking, whcih has been a great thing in terms of helath anxiety - one massive difference to my health! My family are all nurses, but I just couldn't cope with it!

[Lissy43]

I am a soon to be student midwife.

I decided that my health worries will always hit me at some point but I can't let my dreams suffer because of it, its my future and you only live once so make the most of it.

[sandlin]

I'm a midwife and im sure this does not help at all- as previously said a little knowledge is dreadful but manage as best as i can and feel on a more even keel these days but not back to me by a long shot.

Linda xxx

[Lissy43]

Did you have health anxiety before being a midwife sandlin?

[Amanda3266]

A little knowledge was always my problem. I found life easier as a midwife than I did as a nurse - less illness to think about and a happy time for most people.
Good for you Cherry that you are not letting your health fears get in the way of your dreams for a future career.

[Coni]

Hi Amanda,

I'm also a nurse and health visitor (used to be a midwife) and I do find my anxiety worse, but my anxiety is more job related or related to other peoples health rather than my own. Like if one of the kids or my hubby complains of a headache or cough I immediately think its something sinister.

I dont know about you but I find health visiting incredibly stressful especially just now as there arent enough hours in the day and I cant switch off when I go home at night. I dread going back after days off in case something terrible has happened to one of my patients, and to be honest I'm starting to feel like a jack of all trades (master of none lol).

Anyway, sorry this turned into a bit of a whinge.

Coni XX

[Amanda3266]

Hi Coni,

I know exactly what you mean - I have felt a jack of all trades and master of none for some time now. It's as bad in Scotland as in England then? My area used to have six health visitors - we are now down to just two of us and it's hideous. The thought that I may miss something vital (especially in the Child Protection area of my work) is very scary.

Amanda