Dan21
28-05-07, 17:40
Hi all.
God, its been ages since I posted on the forum but I find myself coming back as I've had a few symptoms that have reared their collective heads and with true HA style, I'm beginning to fret to myself.......
I've had pretty bad HA in the past, but when I started my degree course full time in September 06, I was so busy working and throwing everything into my study that I didnt notice any aches, pains, twinges or gripes. All seemed to be well and I didnt even give my HA a second thought (which is probably why I didnt have any symptoms - in a paradoxical way).
However, my first year ended last week and I find myself with almost 9 weeks of time to fill and I cant tell you how much that scares me. It's like I've developed a phobia about having spare time and being able to sit around, knowing that my mind might wander and also knowing that to have my thoughts drift towards HA means me returning to a dark place indeed.
I'm also stressing about the fact that our first baby is due at the end of August and although this is going to be a wonderful, wondeful thing, it frightens me to the core - too many fears to list here.........
So, almost like clockwork, the twinges have started to return immediately after I finished studying. Headaches, tight feeling over the top of my head and down my neck, head rushes (thats the best way I describe them) and a re-occuring digestive system that is all over the place. Plus, what I can only decribe as a brain fog. Cloudy type of feeling when I'm thinking and generally feeling absolutely knackered. My wife has said that its probably due to the fact that I have been giving my study 200% since September and now there is no pressure, my body is kind of winding down and relaxing along with my mind. I'm doing my best to think logically and not listen to the ******* HA voice that is saying 'Actually Dan, it could be a tumour you know', but as you all know, thats sometimes easier said than done.
So, I'm trying to stay positive and find ways to keep occupied. Although I could do with the rest, it generally strikes fear into my heart to think of having so much time free - give me the days of being 9, having the whole summer holidays stretching out in front of you and not having a care in the world..................
I guess I'm just looking for a few words of realism to support the idea that I might not be dying, just burnt out possibly.
Thanks in advance,
Dan
God, its been ages since I posted on the forum but I find myself coming back as I've had a few symptoms that have reared their collective heads and with true HA style, I'm beginning to fret to myself.......
I've had pretty bad HA in the past, but when I started my degree course full time in September 06, I was so busy working and throwing everything into my study that I didnt notice any aches, pains, twinges or gripes. All seemed to be well and I didnt even give my HA a second thought (which is probably why I didnt have any symptoms - in a paradoxical way).
However, my first year ended last week and I find myself with almost 9 weeks of time to fill and I cant tell you how much that scares me. It's like I've developed a phobia about having spare time and being able to sit around, knowing that my mind might wander and also knowing that to have my thoughts drift towards HA means me returning to a dark place indeed.
I'm also stressing about the fact that our first baby is due at the end of August and although this is going to be a wonderful, wondeful thing, it frightens me to the core - too many fears to list here.........
So, almost like clockwork, the twinges have started to return immediately after I finished studying. Headaches, tight feeling over the top of my head and down my neck, head rushes (thats the best way I describe them) and a re-occuring digestive system that is all over the place. Plus, what I can only decribe as a brain fog. Cloudy type of feeling when I'm thinking and generally feeling absolutely knackered. My wife has said that its probably due to the fact that I have been giving my study 200% since September and now there is no pressure, my body is kind of winding down and relaxing along with my mind. I'm doing my best to think logically and not listen to the ******* HA voice that is saying 'Actually Dan, it could be a tumour you know', but as you all know, thats sometimes easier said than done.
So, I'm trying to stay positive and find ways to keep occupied. Although I could do with the rest, it generally strikes fear into my heart to think of having so much time free - give me the days of being 9, having the whole summer holidays stretching out in front of you and not having a care in the world..................
I guess I'm just looking for a few words of realism to support the idea that I might not be dying, just burnt out possibly.
Thanks in advance,
Dan