View Full Version : I've had enough
Hi guys.
I've not been too good at all the past few days. I'm on the verge of a panic attack all the time. I've just had enough of feeling like this, I really feel like I can't cope anymore. I can't stop crying. I daren't go out my house, I don't know why. I'm so anxious if people come round my house I feel as if I'm going to throw up if I try and talk to them. This panic is scaring me, and I'm finding it really hard to believe that it is just panic. I'm on beta-blockers, but my heart has started having racing episodes again. I'm so scared that I'm going to die or something! Even when I convince myself that I'm not going to die, I feel crappy. My chest and neck hurt constantly, and I'm so, so, so utterly exhausted. I can't take much more of this. I just want my life back. I'm sorry for putting a downer on everyone, I just feel so alone.
Hi Cookie
I know just how you feel hon, ive been there and as you know (because you gave me good advice) am currently on a downer myself.
You arent alone believe me no matter how it feels.
How long is it since you went out of the house or do you get out a little?
I didnt leave my house for months a couple of years ago and the way I did it was to spend time in the garden 1st, then opened the front door until I felt happy just standing there. I graduated to walking a few houses up and after a couple of weeks I was to the end of the road.
No matter how bad you feel, we are here for you!
If you want to talk, just email or PM me, I will help you all I can.
take care, from one who has been there!!!!
love Sarah
xx
nomorepanic
17-11-04, 21:30
Hi Cookie
Sorry to hear you are having a bad time. Sometimes it helps to revist things that you have forgotten and re-read it all.
Try Meg's post on First Steps (under the Welcome topic) or re-read some info on the main website pages.
It will reassure you and may help you to understand.
We all know how hard these blips are so don't let it beat you ok?
Try a relaxing bath and some nice chilling music. I know it is so hard to do and I have been there many times so it may be easy for me tell you what to do but you can do it ok.
Believe in yourself and be kind to yourself and we are here to get your through this.
Sending you a hug to help.
x
Nicola
Hi Cookie, please don't feel alone and you are not putting a downer on anyone - i feel like you do right now, i find it very difficult to go out, if the phone rings, i get frightened, if the doorbell rings, someone else has to deal with it - i promise you will not die from these symptoms, i have had them for many years and am still hear to tell the tale, although still can't convince myself, the pains are due to muscle tensions and of course you will be exhausted, panic attacks are very hard work and wear you down, i am sorry i am not being very positive, but take it easy, slowly and one step at a time. and keep in touch and, as suggested read old posts on this site, i have printed lots off, and re-read them at times to give me encouragement. take care
Hi Cookie
Sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment. We all have bad patches like this. You are not putting a downer on everyone.
We are all here for you, you don't have to do this alone.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Hi Cookie!
It must be the phase of the moon, or something...
I've not been at my best the past couple of days either, though nothing major so far... Perhaps its the weather turning colder and darker. I know that has always affected me. My wife has suggested a tanning session, says it works wonders when its gloomy out. ( I can see it now, big ol hairy guy like me, strolling in a salon and asking for 30 minutes... right!:D).
But, today, I too have had to use that tool of constantly reminding myself that it'll get better, that my infamous tummy twiches are just that, tummy twiches and not the beginning of a PA.
Remember, the sun will come back out, the aches and pains (and twiches, for me) will eventually cease. I know, its just hard to remember that when we are in the throes (?) of PAs.
Keep your chin up, and remember, we care.
Love, Rick
It is better to be a free bird than a captive king...
hi Cookie,
You are definetly not alone hun!! We all get times when we feel down and very panicky. All you can do is try to be positive and hang in there...
Sarah :D
Hiya Cookie
Don't worry, we all go through these blips from time to time and you will come out the other end soon enough. We are all here for you ... keep your chin up and try to keep active stay as positive as you can.
Take care, Jo xxx
"courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear"
Hi Cookie
soooo sorry to hear how you are feeling.
Please Cookie don't think you are alone,
we all understand how you are feeling.
I know when I first started suffering PA
I thought just the same as you.
It's so easy to fight with other people,
but the hardest thing is to fight with
yourself.
Since coming on this site I to have printed
lots of things off from the site.
I do my brething every chance I get.
Every night when I go to bed I always think
of nice things. Even during the day I do the
same. Now I am alot better.
In the begining it was not easy, those negative
thoughts just kept creeping back in, but if you take
one day at a time. Try writhing down some
positive thoughts and keep thinking them over
and over again. If you get negative thoughts
replace it with a positive ones.
I know it's not easy changing the way we think
but it can be done.
Believe in yourself Cookie you can do this.
We are all here to support you.
LOVE JILLXXX
"Every thought you think changes your biochemistry.
Your hormones are effected by your thoughts.
Pay attention to stuff that bring you joy.
Look for things that bring you a smile!"
Dera Cookie!
I'm sending you a big big hug!!!
I entierly know how u are feeling right now.... you are on medication but feel like they don't work, and crying is one of the only tings you want to do! Well I'll let you out on my big secret: I just started my PA and generalised anxoiety again after having overcome them for a couple of months. Over the last week I have been having a constant dull chest pain... once that went away for a couple of minutes, my neck would hurt, then my heart, then my arm...my pain always shifts.. but the dull chest pain always stays. I cried and cried and realised that crying was actually doing me good since my breathing was balancing out! Yes! I was doing the deep diaphragm breathing whilst crying! And then after a good sob I realised that I felt much much better.
I also tried to do some painting... now I'm the worst painter on earth.. so to keep my mind off the panic attacks and my chest pains a friend brought me one of those canvasses with number on them.. every number is a colour... so it's just a matter of painting the right colour on the right number (pathetic for a 26 year old to do.. i know but it seriously does work for me!).... try doings omething like knitting or fixing a sock or anything that requires your attention.... it works wonders for me!
Just remember that we all have ups and downs and that it's all a learning process. Already being on this site and writing to us is a great big step.... hang on there... there are brighter days ahead.
Astrid :D
Thanks everyone. Sorry for the miserable post, I felt very low last night. Not much better today mind you. I'm still alive anyway:D, which should tell me that its just my panic creeping in again. I think it got particularly bad last night because I went out the house for almost two hours in the day. Felt good at the time, but terrible walking back home. I don't really have a choice to stay indoors, I have a 21 month old son who has special needs. He has at least 1 hospital appointment a week that I have to take him to. I find that agonizing. But I have to do it for him. And if I run out of nappies, I have to go to the shops! Even though, I admit, I try to make them last till my partner comes home so he can fetch them. Isn't panic and anxiety a horrible illness? Its really amazed me how bad it can make you feel. The only thing keeping my head above water at the moment is my son. Have to carry on for the little ones.
Cookie,
I know it is very difficult but the more you avoid going out the harder it will be later. You must try and go out every day as if you put it off it can only get worse. Even a walk down your street and go that little bit further. It will do your son good to get out as well and give you some exercise.
I remember the feelings of waking up in the morning and saying thank god I'm alive. It is the panic and YOU CAN GET better. As Nic said read meg's first steps page it will help if you work at it. We all know how you feel as we have been or are in the same place. Don't feel bad about telling us about your day as that is why we are here.
Let us know how yu are feeling
Are you eating okay
Take Care
Lucky
Hi Cookie,
You sound like I was last year this time! I was unable to leave the house for a long time, its like living in a nightmare isnt it? I would come on here and read how everyone said it would get better in time. But I didnt beleive that I would ever get better. I didnt beleive that any one could possibly be as bad as me and was sure that I had some extra acute uncurable kind of panic!
I am not 100% cured now but I am a lot lot better and even start a new job next week!
Give it time. Its great you have your little one to make you leave the house sometimes. I was given the same sort of programme as Sarah. open the door. Next day, walk to end drive, then end of road etc etc. It takes ages to re build some confidence so be patient but stick at it.
Are you having any sort of councilling?
Good luck,
Sue (another one whos been there!!)
Sue
Fanny Adams
14-12-04, 10:34
Cookie,
Heres a hug from me to you and a little poem that I hope puts a smile on your face: -
I wish I was a glow Worm
A glow worms never glum,
Cos how can you be grumpy
When the sun shines out your bum!
Always works for me
Never feel alone as we're always here for you, never be afraid to cry as someone will always wipe your tears and always reach out to those around you; they love as we do :)
Love
FA
Everything is Sweet FA!
panickychick
19-12-04, 21:16
That poem put a smile on my face! [^]
Panic attacks stink, but I'm sure that you can get some tips online for how to cope and I hope it gets better for you.
When I had my first panic attack it was terrible but I got much better with coping with them with using different techniques.
Proper Bo!
Hi Cookie, take a deep breath in and slow right down there! You are having the classic panic attacks, and probably hyperventilating as well by the sounds of the neck and chest pains, this in turn is causing more anxiety. You are NOT going mad, and nothing worse is going to happen. I know what it is like to hyperventilate and yes it is exhausting, try to breathe in through your nose slowly and not 'air gulp'through the mouth breaking the cycle is the hardest part, it takes much practice. The whole thing is a component of anxiety disorders, I recently have asked my Gp for asthma inhalers only to find they have made no difference!!!! Just goes to show how it gets yer!!! Your fear of visitors to the house is an irrational fear that comes with the territory, dont avoid situations this only makes things worse praise yorself for the small things you do achieve. Take care
Love Ruthxxxxxx
COOKIE,
DONT KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE, THE WORST I HAVE EVER HAD THEM IS WHEN I HAD SLEEPING PILLS ,BETA BLOCKERS,DIAZEPEM I USE TO TAKE THEM ALL TOGETHER AND DRINK BOOZE. I COULD NOT AND WOULD NOT GO OUT OF THE HOUSE,WAS SO SCARED.
IT WILL GET BETTER SOME WAYS JUST LAUGH AT IT.
I FEEL FOR YOU .
YOU WILL GO TO HELL AND BACK FIRST.
SORRY BUT ITS THE TRUTH.
Hi Cookie,
You are not alone. I suffer from the exact same feelings that you do and I know how awful it feels, especially when you feel like you have nobody.
I am in a similar position myself right now, I cry a lot, I am exhausted from feeling so alone and panicking every single day - it is tiring but you just have to try and hang in there no matter how hard it seems to be.
Try and keep your chin up doll, I am right there with ya!
:)
Kylie
Hi Cookie,
I agree that it is hard to have panic attacks with a little one around. I have a three year old and one of the worst PA's I've ever had was when I was driving and she was in the back seat. She was crying loudly and I believe that even contributed more to my panic. Also when I am having a PA I become so irratable with her. It is just so not fair to her.
Just remember this:
If you give panic an "inch" he becomes a "ruler".
Take care and know I am thinking of you.;)
tessa
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