hello there

[Oni]

hello,

my name is phil and it's nice to be here, a few things about myself...i am 16 years old, i live in north carolina and i beleive i may have a panic/anxiety problem. i am not sure if this is the right place to put this but i am going through one of those moments right now and i just want some help...so here is my story....



About a week ago i woke up, watched some tv and poked around online and stuff like that. i started to smoke a bit of marijuana i had bought a couple days before,i was smoking out of a gravity bong ( if you don't know what it is, basically you get a very large amount of smoke out of it in one hit) well after taking a very large hit off of it i just sat in my computer chair and relaxed. after a while i started to notice something odd, i beleived i had somehow done something terrible to my jaw, and thought it had dropped a bit (very very stoned at this point) so i started to freak out, went to the bathroom several times to see if anything actually was wrong with my jaw and nothing was. i figured i was just having a bad high so i decided to sleep it off, well i couldn't sleep..it was just stuck in my head i had a mouth like a donkey or something. That is when i started to notice something else, my heart beat was rapidly increasing...i still tried to sleep but it didn't work, my heart kept going faster and faster...i was starting to get very worried at this point because i was born with a heart murmur, thinking it could have affected it somehow. i tried my best to ignore it for awhile but it just kept going faster, i finally got tired of it and ran downstairs to tell my mom, i couldn't even speak straight...all i remember getting out of my mouth was "something is wrong" i couldn't even explain what i had done or what happened, and off to the hospital we went. in the car i was able to get myself together enough to explain the situation...she gave me a few tips on ways to get my heart rate down, but none of them worked. heart rate was changing alot, my mom checked it and said i was going at about 125 beats per minute. we got to the hospital and they didn't really do much...hooked me up to a EKG and a respiratory monitor, took a chest x ray to check my heart and pretty much sent me home saying nothing was wrong, 500$ in bills to lay on a bed for 5 hours. (with no insurance too..) and ever since then i have felt this pressure in my chest, i have since quit smoking, drinking and whatever else. i did smoke a little bit about 3 days after the visit to see what the effects would be, since i had read up on panic/anxiety attacks; terrible idea...it happened again and i had a little bit more control this time, there was the same feeling of pressure in my chest as before and then i tried to check my heart rate....after about 20 seconds something happened that wasn't right..it felt like my heart just stopped and i got cold sensations all over my body. after about 2 hours the attack went away, and i was left with the pressure in my chest that has been there since i left the hospital. today i still have this pressure, and every now and then the cold sensations...i know those are some symptoms of panic and i have started to handle them better. i have been way to scared to check my heart rate again since the last time..every time i get the cold chills it feels like my heart stopped again (i don't know if it does or not, too scared to feel...) thought of death start going through my head and i start to panic again. i have noticed a few things that i beleive may affect this, caffeinated soda, sugar, salt, even when i play guitar it feels as if the sound waves are bothering my heart. i have not smoked anything or drank any kind of alcohol (very little soda too, usually water now.) it feels like there is something in the left side of my neck but i don't even know what that could be...i don't know how to explain it. i have also been pretty cold when it is a fair temperature in my room. sometimes a pressure on the right side of my chest too, possibly by my lung. i have gotten to become scared to do alot of things,

[Cookie]

Hi Phil,
I've been feeling pretty crappy too the past few days. It sounds like you're having panic attacks to me. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that smoking the green stuff won't help matters. It'll only add to your anxiety and paranoia about the attacks. Stay off it if you can and see if that helps a bit. I get horrible pains/squeezing sensation in my chest and up my neck(I hate the neck pains). I also freak out about my heart. Thinking its stopped/going too fast/going to pop! etc. I get the cold chills too. So it sounds pretty much like you're having panic attacks to me mate! Check out the website, read through all the self-help stuff. Which I've just done this morning, and I'm feeling a little bit better. So good luck with it all, and Welcome to the forum!
Shelley.
-x-

[Oni]

oh i learned after the second time smoking like this, i have not smoked anything or drank alchohol in about a week now, and i plan to keep it that way.

[Karen]

Hi Oni

Welcome to the forum. It does seem like you have symptoms of panic. It is good that you have given up smoking and alcohol as these activities do not help the symptoms of panic.

You will get a lot of support here.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[mico]

Hi Oni

Like the others have said, and also if you have a read of some of the topics posted round here, it sounds very much like anxiety. Freaking out with marijuana is pretty normal (you probably know that already), but it sounds like you've had such a bad experience that you've carried it on afterwards. Caffeine is a stimulant and like you say, is best avoided, same with alchohol etc...and of course marijuana, but I don't think I need to tell you that.

Have a look at the first steps on the site if you haven't read it already: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/firststeps.htm

Even though this is all quite new to you, you do sound to have grasped the concept of what is happening to you, so that is a good start. One of the important things is not to avoid anything. Difficult, I know, but if you start to avoid situations when the fear crops up then it becomes a habit, one of which is difficult to get out of.

Another thing I would suggest, is to try and find a little time to relax, meditation, tense and relax, soft music, etc, whatever suits you best, just to bring your general levels of anxiety down.

mico

[Meg]

Hello Oni

Yup - you've been hit by a chemical induced panic phase. This is hugely on the increase.

Taking your main concerns

marijuana is a mood altering substance and that can be in a positive calming way or in a nastier way . On this occassion is was the latter.

**i beleived i had somehow done something terrible to my jaw, and thought it had dropped a bit (very very stoned at this point) so i started to freak out, went to the bathroom several times to see if anything actually was wrong with my jaw and nothing was. i figured i was just having a bad high so i decided to sleep it off, well i couldn't sleep..it was just stuck in my head i had a mouth like a donkey or something.**

The chemical altered your usual cognitive thought patterns and disallowed you to be your usual logical self and even when you recognised that perhaps you were having a bad high and decided to sleep it off the effect the chemical was having was still present in your system disallowing you to really think straight and dismiss irrational thoughts.

Next as Marijuana is a stimulant it affected the heart rate and then you noticed it.**my heart kept going faster and faster...
i was starting to get very worried at this point because i was born with a heart murmur.** This in turn will have got your fear response - adrenalin going wich will have perpetuated the increased heart rate.

The cold chills are likely to be blood leaving the organs in preparation for flight etc and the chest muscles tense up in preparation as well . Additionally it does take longer than commonly tought to expel the body of the chemical so some of the stimulant may still be in effect if it was just a week ago ...

Your heart will not be stopping - you may well be having ectopic or extra beats wich are normal in this case and are harmless.

**thought of death start going through my head and i start to panic again** This is pure thought association and you are now causing these panics through your thought processes.

Your body has learnt the panic response and is much more vulnerable to using it now .

*i have noticed a few things that i beleive may affect this, caffeinated soda, sugar, salt,* Totally correct - stay clear for a few weeks

**i have gotten to become scared to do alot of things, drive, ride with other people who don't exactly follow the speed limit, any activity/exercise that affects my heart rate*

Ok , this is where you get to do some self help - you must ( and I don't often use this word at all) not continue to avoid these things . You are setting yourself up for agoraphobia .

Try to regain confidence by exposing yourself to these things slowly and steadily and learning that they will not harm you and even if your heart does speed up - it will also calm down again.

You have survived the worst - when you didn't understand what was happening . As you say *it happened again and i had a little bit more control this time* .

Knowledge/education is power and you are in control of these.

It does take the brain a bit of time to recover from such a chemical insult so don't be suprised if you have to work at this ....

Take up meditation or a martial art and get yourself a good relaxation Cd with breathing techniques on it which will help you should you get panicky again .

Take care - let us know how you're doing









Meg

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[seh1980]

hello Oni,

Just wanted to say welcome to the site!!

Sarah :D

[LoopyLou]

Hi Phil,

I'm new to this as well so I know how your feeling. I had my first attack a few months ago, but realise now I did used to have them when I used to smoke dope. I have the feeling that somethings in my neck too, went to the hospital, had X-rays, which obviously came back clear so felt a right wally, but these things do make you believe something terrible is happening to you. I was drinking heavy and realise this has been a main trigger for starting attacks, I'm now drinking camomile tea (don't get the buzz anymore out of this stuff unfortunately but it's meant to help you relax!) I am determined not to stop doing things even if it brings back them feelings cause I'm not gonna let this beat me. Please try to carry on doing normal things, your just starting your life out, don't let panic attacks ruin your life. Alot of people who have suffered for years have advised me to read up on as much information as possible so at least you have an understanding then. So i'm ploughing through the net like mad, maybe you could try the same thing, it's taking my mind off things anyhow.

Well mate, hope you find the answers your looking for.

Take Care and keep smiling!

[nomorepanic]

Hi Phil

Welcome to the site and forum - good to see you here. Look forward to hearing more from you.


Nicola

[Oni]

thanks guys, meg that really helped out alot. :)

i've been doing better now, i have had one, maybe 2 panic attacks recently but they were pretty short (one lasted an hour, another a little bit less) but i knew what was going on, and i understand what caused it so it hasn't bothered me much. the feeling in my neck is what my mom thinks may be the mumps, both sides have gotten a bit swollen but i am sure i will be ok. i went without drinking any soda and nothing with salt in it for about a week and it helped out alot, i still don't like caffeine though [:P] i'm feeling much more in tune with what happened and what is still going on and alot of that is from the help you all have given me and what i have found here already, much appreciation. i have not smoked much lately (i have only had 3 cigarettes since the first attack happened, and they were days apart from each other) so thats another bad habit going out the window. i have gone skateboarding a few times for exercise and i think it's helping also.

[Meg]

Phil ,

If the swelling in your neck doesn't go down soon and you get a sore throat or you start getting really tired do go and get screened for mono ..
Meanwhile get yourself on some Vitamin C .




Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[Oni]

i have been getting kind of tired, not sleepy tired though...i have felt kind of light headed and just plain weird...the swelling goes away and comes back..at first it feels kind of like a panic attack coming on but totally different, heart rate has stayed the same.. can panic attacks open the door for other problems?? arggh

[Oni]

i just looked in the mirror and noticed my pupils are rather large, in a lighted room, now i KNOW that is not normal.

[mico]

Hi Oni

Anxiety will have an effect on the size of your pupils, as you get tense, then relaxed. On a bad day mine are up and down like yo-yo's.

Sounds like you've been doing OK though, just take it easy for a while, don't avoid anything and try to prevent it from happening again.

As for the tiredness and lumps in your neck, etc. Tiredness and such can be common symptoms of anxiety, but it could also be possible you have glandular fever, mumps, or something similar, a quick trip to the docs will tell you that though.

mico

[Meg]

Oni,

As Mico says when anxious and have adrenaline flowing all kinds of things become normal- big pupils being just one symptom to help you see better when you are fleeing.


Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance