miss motown
30-05-07, 14:47
hi all im having a terrible time today.i was supposed to be going into town today i got ready picked my car keys up and bang this fear and panic came over me for no reason wot so ever i got this pain in my chest againe which i thought here we go heart attack my daughtor came in with her friend they were talkin to me but i just wanted them to leave the room as i didnt want to embarrase my self as i thought i was about to loose control.i just want to no from others if any of you suffer from this i carnt even explaine wot it is i fear sometimes i feel so unreal i dont no how im functioning im frightened when i get into the car as i dont no how im controling it my hands dont even feel as if im holding the steerig wheel and then when i get out of the car i feel as if im swaying bumping into people and i carnt get away quick enough then i get this feelin of everyone around me is not real ur im not real i start questioning things like wots this all about and why r we here ive been like this for 12 ur more years im taken dotherpin which i keep askin why im takin it as i dont feel any better for it but cos ive been on it for so long im scared to stop.i just feel ive waisted alot of my life to this ilness and i no theres alot of people out there that do suffer the same but i just find it hard to belive and really im the only one.why couldent i go out today wot was it that was stopping me i dont no does anybody no. why is it i carnt be normal wot ever normal is please post if this sounds simular im sorry to go on but im getting really anoyed with it i often wonder why do i go on as its deffenitly not living i feel its an excistance i really needed to go out today :lac: