Scanxiety for an appointment tomorrow

[samina77]

Hey all,

I am a recovering HA sufferer. For those who haven't read my posts, I developed MASSIVE HA following the birth of my son 6 months ago. Doctors found a papilloma in my bladder by chance when discharging me as well as pieces of placenta still in my uterus which sent me into overdrive. The first 3 months of motherhood were HELL for me...

I since had the (benign) papilloma removed and the uterus expelled the placenta on its own. But HA ensued. Basically every little thing I feel in my body is something bad. One symptom I had post partum (and still occasionally now) is occasional blood in my stool (sorry for the tmi). I went to my doctors and she wasn't that bothered, when I told her I was worried, she suggested I see a proctologist. I put off making the appointment for AGES, anyway, the appointment is here, it's tomorrow.... I've been fine until yesterday, started googling stuff again and now I'm worried about all sorts...

Also, my mind does these stupid things like: today my son is 6 months old. I never really post anything on social media and refrained a lot after he was born, especially when I was waiting for my operation and then for the histological results, because I am afraid if I am happy, then something will go wrong... I know how ridiculous this sounds but my mind does these things...

So... what am I asking? Can anyone relate to these silly thoughts AND does anyone have any advice about the proctologist?
I'm in Italy so not sure what the procedure is here...

Thanks in advance for listening. Love this forum!
Sxx

[cattia]

My anxiety went into complete overdrive after the birth oc each of my children. I think those hormones have a lot to answer for! I'm sure that the scan will be fine and if your doctor was worried they would have insisted that you be seen much earlier. I find also that medical appointments make me very anxious. I try to distract myself with something like suduko on my phone in the waiting room, and practice breathing during the procedure. I also can relate to the feeling of not wanting to 'jinx' things by not posting on social media, I think it's common with health anxiety to try to control things with our actions, if you look up magical thinking it's common with anxiety disorders.

[samina77]

practice breathing during the procedure. I also can relate to the feeling of not wanting to 'jinx' things by not posting on social media, I think it's common with health anxiety to try to control things with our actions, if you look up magical thinking it's common with anxiety disorders.

Thank you so much Cattia, exactly, hormones plus sense of responsibility plus actual health problems equals very bad HA!

You are so right about the breathing, it does help and I will do this tomorrow. As for the magical thinking, I have heard about this and I think it's another thing I have ALWAYS done... Thanks again :)

[samina77]

So here's an update...

I went to the proctologist today and it went NOTHING like what I had expected...
I had read some stuff online saying the doctors put you at ease first, ask you lots of questions about lifestyle, eating habits, history ecc. and then proceeded with the examination.

Well, I got none of that. I was nervous as hell when I walked in and had trouble speaking clearly (I had to speak in Italian, my Italian is good but I was so nervous I was bumbling all over the place). I started off by saying I was anxious and the doctor replied "I can see that" (not in a nice way I might add), and then said I could speak in English. So I did, but let's say my Italian is better than his English so I ended up not really explaining properly what I wanted to say. To be fair, he didn't seem at all interested in what I had to say at all and just wanted to have a look at me bum.

Anyway, he did, very quickly have a look, then the finger, and then just said the blood vessels were very swollen (he used the word "congested"), he's prescribed me a 20-day therapy with a tablet to strengthen the blood vessels and a cream for the roids...

I'm going to be honest, obviously I'm relieved he didn't think there was anything serious afoot but at the same time I feel kind of "fobbed off". Is that because I was effectively fobbed off or is that just a normal HA reaction??

Oh I forgot the best bit, he said to do the cure but more than likely I'd have to have an operation - what?? I don't particularly want an operation, I know lots of people with roids and no one has opted for the op. I also read that the op is temporary...

Anyone have any experience in this delightful matter?

Sxxx