poppadr3w
08-08-17, 19:12
I guess I would call what I am about to talk about "generalized hypochondria," in a sense. It's the knowledge that nothing is physically wrong with you, but you just cannot fathom that being true with the way you feel.
I feel like most days are "bad," in a sense. Within the day there are fluctuations with symptoms, but I cannot remember the last time that I truly felt normal, at least not for an extended period of time; an extended period of time being like a few days or week. I just feel so awful, drained, fatigued, sick and so many more negative feelings almost every damn day. My symptoms manifest in so many different ways, from dizziness to nausea to fatigue so potent I have to lay down and nap for hours as soon as I get home from work.
The reasons why I say that I "know" that I am fine is because of all of the medical specialists I've been to. I've seen multiple Cardiologists, Gastroenterologists, Endocrinologists, General Physicians, Acupuncturists, Sleep Doctors, and many, many mores. I've had so many tests done that point to small issues, but the doctors generally say these findings are minimal. For example, a small leak in one of my heart's valves; the Cardiologist said to not come back for 6-7 years! A Gastroenterologist said I had some minor corrosion after doing an endoscopy last year, but didn't prescribe anything and just said to take some over the counter meds at times. So I've had all of these people look at me, but despite it all I still feel absolutely miserable often times.
To top it off, now I am on a handful of medications; some medications are for mental health. Testosterone Replacement Therapy for Hypogonadism, which I thought would remedy it all, but it didn't; however, it did help a fair amount. For mental health I am on Venlafaxine (again), and just increased my dosage from 37.5mg to 75mg, which usually leads to these bad feelings, as they are like "start up side effects" once again, but really is just a dosage increase. I also take an array of nutritional supplements to try, because everything says it will help with anything and everything. Fish Oil, Grapeseed Extract, Vitamin D and other vitamins. It seems all overwhelming, especially since I still feel off.
I also have Sleep Apnea and have a CPAP Machine. I thought this would be my magic bullet and was actually the first thing I attempted to remedy many, many years ago. It's hard to use this machine, especially the first model that I had which was very uncomfortable. I've been using the current one more consistently, but I still have these issues of fatigue throughout the day.
I tried attacking my mental health issues and other potentially related symptoms from every angle, but nothing helps. I feel hopeless, but on paper everything supposedly is peachy according to the doctors!
Rolling the aspects of depression into the mix, and it's a medley of... just negativity. I feel like I cannot escape this abyss of physical and mental symptoms that increase the symptoms and degrees of one another.
Where do you go when you've been to every doctor type you can think of? When you've completed dozens of tests? When you've had more bloodwork done than you can count? When you've taken many different types of medications? When you've done all of the above and you still feel like your life is not even half of normal?
I feel like most days are "bad," in a sense. Within the day there are fluctuations with symptoms, but I cannot remember the last time that I truly felt normal, at least not for an extended period of time; an extended period of time being like a few days or week. I just feel so awful, drained, fatigued, sick and so many more negative feelings almost every damn day. My symptoms manifest in so many different ways, from dizziness to nausea to fatigue so potent I have to lay down and nap for hours as soon as I get home from work.
The reasons why I say that I "know" that I am fine is because of all of the medical specialists I've been to. I've seen multiple Cardiologists, Gastroenterologists, Endocrinologists, General Physicians, Acupuncturists, Sleep Doctors, and many, many mores. I've had so many tests done that point to small issues, but the doctors generally say these findings are minimal. For example, a small leak in one of my heart's valves; the Cardiologist said to not come back for 6-7 years! A Gastroenterologist said I had some minor corrosion after doing an endoscopy last year, but didn't prescribe anything and just said to take some over the counter meds at times. So I've had all of these people look at me, but despite it all I still feel absolutely miserable often times.
To top it off, now I am on a handful of medications; some medications are for mental health. Testosterone Replacement Therapy for Hypogonadism, which I thought would remedy it all, but it didn't; however, it did help a fair amount. For mental health I am on Venlafaxine (again), and just increased my dosage from 37.5mg to 75mg, which usually leads to these bad feelings, as they are like "start up side effects" once again, but really is just a dosage increase. I also take an array of nutritional supplements to try, because everything says it will help with anything and everything. Fish Oil, Grapeseed Extract, Vitamin D and other vitamins. It seems all overwhelming, especially since I still feel off.
I also have Sleep Apnea and have a CPAP Machine. I thought this would be my magic bullet and was actually the first thing I attempted to remedy many, many years ago. It's hard to use this machine, especially the first model that I had which was very uncomfortable. I've been using the current one more consistently, but I still have these issues of fatigue throughout the day.
I tried attacking my mental health issues and other potentially related symptoms from every angle, but nothing helps. I feel hopeless, but on paper everything supposedly is peachy according to the doctors!
Rolling the aspects of depression into the mix, and it's a medley of... just negativity. I feel like I cannot escape this abyss of physical and mental symptoms that increase the symptoms and degrees of one another.
Where do you go when you've been to every doctor type you can think of? When you've completed dozens of tests? When you've had more bloodwork done than you can count? When you've taken many different types of medications? When you've done all of the above and you still feel like your life is not even half of normal?