Anxiety: Problem Making Friends

[dinkduk]

I've had anxiety for the past 5 years and the one thing that keeps it going is my extreme shyness and inability to make friends, I don't know but is this called social phobia?

I've listened to all these great speakers talk about anxiety and how they cured themselves, Lucinda Bassett, Charles Linden but the one thing they didn't also have to contend with is shyness, I listen to Lucinda Bassett and I've never heard a more out going person.

At work I have no friends, At home I have no friends, I can't get along with family, I litteraly have no one to talk to, and in turn this brings on anxiety and depression.

Sure my doctor gave me meds which do no good, they cure the anxiety yes but nothing else.

I've went to CBT but am to shy to talk

People say just talk to people, but my mind goes totally blank, infact on occasions when I meet people the ask me my name, and as per usual my mind goes blank and I have even forgotten my name let alone have a conversation.

I have no problems talking on the like of these message boards just in really life.

This condition really is a lonely condition. Has anyone else had similar problems? If so have you any advice?

[Alabasterlyn]

I've had anxiety for the past 5 years and the one thing that keeps it going is my extreme shyness and inability to make friends, I don't know but is this called social phobia?


Hi dinkduk, I have to say from what you say it does sound like social phobia to me although it's always best to have a proper diagnosis from someone like your Dr or someone that specialises in anxiety disorders.



I've listened to all these great speakers talk about anxiety and how they cured themselves, Lucinda Bassett, Charles Linden but the one thing they didn't also have to contend with is shyness, I listen to Lucinda Bassett and I've never heard a more out going person.


I've listened to Lucinda Bassett and yes she does sound an extremely outgoing person. However this is how she sounds after overcoming her anxiety, so it's highly likely she was different beforehand.



Sure my doctor gave me meds which do no good, they cure the anxiety yes but nothing else.


There are some meds that are specifially aimed at Social Phobia, so it might be worth asking your Dr about them if you feel you aren't getting enough benefit from the meds you are on now.




People say just talk to people, but my mind goes totally blank, infact on occasions when I meet people the ask me my name, and as per usual my mind goes blank and I have even forgotten my name let alone have a conversation.


I actually think some of the nicest people I have met have been people who are good listeners rather than good talkers. There are lots of people who just waffle on about themselves and never listen to what someone has to say to them, so I think if you can cultivate your listening skills people will be more drawn to you. A good tip is if you ask people an open ended question that they can't answer with a simple 'yes' or 'no'. Most people like nothing more than to talk about themselves.



This condition really is a lonely condition. Has anyone else had similar problems? If so have you any advice?

I spent years being very shy when I was younger. I remember times I would pretend to have laryngitis at college so that I didn't have to read out loud in front of other people. Socialising was a total nightmare as I was just too shy to ever strike up a conversation with anyone. For me things just changed as I got older. Nowadays I will talk to anyone and have no problem, so things can often get better just on their own too.

[FRANKIEISBACK]

mental health problems are VERY isolating, you tell people you have arthritis or kidney problems and they send you flowers, u mention anxiety and you soon know who your true friends are

you will find plenty on here who understand, I would suggest you go onto the chat room where every evening you will get handy tips on improving your circle of friends

[honeybee3939]

Hiya

I just wanted to welcome to NMP, its lovely to see you here, where all a good bunch here:) , im sure you will make new friends.:)

Hugs:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx