Going Mad!

[Charlotte Anne]

Hi,

I am new to the site but having found some of the information on it really helpful in this last few weeks wanted to get some thoughts on a symptom that seems to be new for me.

To give you a bit of background I've suffered from anxiety since my daughter was born in 2004. I've been diagnosed with Post Natal Depression (although it took a year for this diagnosis to be made) then Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (they said this was as a result of the birth) and as my symptoms have got worse again recently theres now discussion that what I've got is a nervous disorder. I've found all this really hard and guess I've never accepted it - v sucessful career in HR, done couselling courses so how could this happen to me, I should know what to do, I'm strong - is what I thought.

Any way in October 2005 when this first started to manifest as chest pain, palpititaions I was sent to see a cardiologist. He did a ECG (of which I must has had a dozen now during my visits to A & E) an Echo and a 24 hour tape and nothing showed up. It was then in the January I was diagnosed with PND. I was off work for 4 months last year and thought I was getting better but then got worse again - the chest/heart stuff has been the worse and I've never really believed that there is nothing wrong with me - I've spent the last 20 months thinking I will drop dead at any moment.

I've been back to the cardiologist last month and had another 24 tape, which again was normal aside from a few etoptics that he said was normal. He did say my base heart rate was a bit fast for someone my age but as I'm pregnant and anxious thats what it was. He told me I needed to accept I had anxious depression (another diagnosis).

The week after I'd been to see him I experienced a symptom that I hadn't felt before. I had a really wierd sensation in my chest (like my heart turned over) and when I felt my pulse it was irregular with some long pauses (when I got the wierd feelings. Its happening everyday now and has really set me back. Everything I've read on the site (and I also ordered one of the recommended books by Dr Claire Weekes) suggests its missed heartbeats but I just keep thinking its something new - its going round in my head that its something that hasn't been picked up through the tests that is now getting worse. I can't understand why when I've been ill for 20 months and have had plenty of chest symptoms that this would suddenly start now.

Help!

Charlotte

[cattttt]

This sounds pretty normal for anxiety, palpitations and ectopics are really scary but totally harmless. I've had them myself, and even though my anxiety is alot more under control, I still get them. If you've been checked out, and it sounds like you have, then try to keep telling yourself that it's nothing. I try to carry on and ignore them, easier said than done sometimes. If you're really worried, talk to your gp. If he/she is any good, they will understand how anxiety can affect you and give you some reassurance.

[ItWillPass]

I can totally relate to your post. My anxiety also began during my last pregnancy, and intensified after the birth. I have had all the same symptoms as well. ( I think my cardiologist thinks im a real nut case) I am also trained as a therapist, and believed I was immune to this, since I knew so much about it, and even worked with several sufferers. The truth is, if anything this idea of being immune makes us more susceptible. Our fear gets intensified because we think, "I know all about anxiety and this isnt it" But I am learning that thought is totally wrong. Unless someone has gone through it, they do not know a thing about anxiety. I keep telling myself that I am going through this so I can better help whatever future clients I will have.

[Jaco45er]

Hi Charlotte and welcome to the forum

Labels, labels, labels, we could spend a lifetime searching for what gave us anxiety and debating what to call the type we have.

The long and short of it is, sensitised nerves. We are all suffering from awful feelings in our bodies that are triggered by our thoughts and attitude to our anxiety.

From your post it sounds like you are thinking "OMG, a new symptom, I knew it, there IS something wrong with me, all those doctors missed something, they are wrong". Well you wouldn't be the first to have that thought trust me :).

When you get the Claire Weekes book, she will explain that it's how we think that equates to how we feel.

Take this new feeling. Remember the old days when you had a pain? all that happened was ouch, must be indigestion, and you carried on not giving it a second thought.

The difference now is, your sensitised mind is susceptible to suggestability, that is, you will think the worst because your mind is in an "anxiety state".

The Claire Weekes self help books teach you to accept those feelings. It doesn't happen over night (trust me, be patient it can take time) but with practice you will think:

Oooops, this is a new one, still, anxiety is always trying to fool me, but I know its just anxiety, I accept it as such, and move on.

It really is an illness how how we think. Once you can master acceptance of anxiety, its effect will have less of an impact on your day to day life.

I am not 100% "cured" but I cope 100% better than I did before I read Claire Weekes. Although my own opinion is that you can't be "cured" of anxiety, its a natural human emotion, what we need is to get anxiety back in porportion.

Lets face it, without anxiety you would not jump out of the way of the bus hurtling towards you. ;)

I really hope you feel better soon, and try to take time out to read your book when it arrives, hopefully it will start un-ravelling the mystery of this bluffer anxiety.

TC

Jaco

P.S. I never say OMG in real life, its a bit girly ;)

[looking4answers]

Sounds like you suffer from pretty much the same things everyone else does on here..Its called anxiety sweetie.. Yes you have missed heart beats and stress and worry cause them to be worse..According to every doctor I have ever talked to they said that most everyone has these its just that many don't notice them.

Im pretty sure you aren't going to drop dead ..I have felt that way 52 years out of 52 years and pretty much everyday .I always lived to see another sunrise so far.. So just relax try not to give it much thought remember its in your head and try thinking about something else..With all those tapes and doctors visits im sure you are fine..Just try to occupy yourself with things that do not relate to yourself.. Take care and you will be fine..