50 is bothering me

[domino]

in 5 months i will be the big 50, it,s just a number i keep telling myself, but just lately i have been having sleepless nights/days as i work nights. i reallly do,nt want to reach this stage in my life,silly i hear you cry, but to me it,s a big deal, everything is happening soo qiickly.My youngest daugther finished uni on the 18 of may, she moved in with her boyfriend of 1 year on the 24th may, my eldest daughter was 24 on the 30th of may,my twin sister visited last weekend and has told me she is moving awayto hampshire. it,s all tooo much for me to handle right now ,any adviec will be most appreicated, sorry for the moan. The 50 is bothering me title, is that most of my relatives have not lived much beyond their fiftys .:mad:

[clickaway]

Hi

I can understand how you feel, and suspect you'd be cool about reaching 50 if it was not for your anxiety and the other issues you talk about.

Remember, a year being 365 days is just a man-made number even if does have a scientific basis in its measure. If we counted in dozens rather than tens you barely be 40 :)

My advice is think of an age as just a number - your body does not fall apart on any birthday and you are still gaining new healthy cells each and every day.

I'm sure the rest of your family will miss you when they move away so will do their best to see you and keep in regular touch. I hope you also have others nearby who form part of your support network. It may be an idea to see what alternative support you can get to help you through - are you able to get out properly?

Take Care

Ray, aged 53

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Rickards,

Perhaps the problem is not only turning 50 but also having the empty nest syndrome too. You are having so many changes at once in your life! I don't know about you but I still feel 20 in my head then I look in the mirror :ohmy: and well I won't even go into that, lol. :mad:

Try not to focus on what happened to your relatives, that is probably what is bringing you down the most. You are not them. Just take care of yourself the best you can, that is all any of us can do.

All we can do is live in the present and enjoy it. Believe me I know this is not easy but when you can achieve this it does make things easier.

I turn 50 next year, so if you read a post from me not wanting to turn 50 (which you may very well see) please remind me of my words will you? :shades:

Hugs,

Laura :)

[domino]

Firstly, thankyou ray&laura for your replies.Ray yes is the answer to your question am i able to get out, thank god for that, i am 1 of 7 children but am the only one that lives away from my family. Laura, it,s true that things are all happening at once, i,m sure my mother felt the same when her children "lEFT THE NEST" I,M GOING TO LOOK AT THIS AS ANOTHER CHAPER IN MY LIFE. THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR ADVICE XX

[kate]

I'm 45 next month and also suffering with the kids don't need me anymore, although mine are a bit younger, 18 and 15.

We have taken this change to our family as a good time to move house as well. We have lived here for 24 years, the kids have, of course, grown up here so we felt that to ease the changes we would move, have a fresh start without all the memories of when the kids needed us for everything.

We have found a lovely cottage about 20 mins from here. Both the kids will be moving with us but my son is starting work with my bro in law for 12 months and will then be leaving for uni, so another life change then as well.

Yes, look as it as another chapter in your life. It wont be easy, but try to turn it into a positive rather than a negative.

Kate

[domino]

Thankyou kate, you forget how quickly your children grow up, where do the years go?We moved 4 years ago into this house, and me and my husband just seem to rattle around in it,he works away alot too. This weekend i,ve decided to make a few changes to the house , decorating it ,change things around abit. Good luck with your move and where ever you end up i wish you lots of happiness in your "next chaper" in your life. xx:)

[Piglet]

I've just turned 45 and my three kids are the same age as Kates with the eldest nearly 21!!

When my eldest left home a few years ago I knew change was on the way - I really understand the empty nest syndrome as the middle one is also in and out so much that I am going to install a revolving door lol!!

Like Kate says we have new chapter in our lives to look towards and we will make it fun folks cos I'm gonna book us all on a saga holiday. :yesyes:

Piglet :flowers:

[domino]

Ohooo piglet, that ,s cheered me up , make sure our holiday is somewhere hot and do,nt forget your pringles!!

[Piglet]

That's the spirit mate! :yesyes:

Also thank you for saying 'your' pringles - sometimes people say 'the' pringles or 'some' pringles in a manner which suggests sharing of some kind!!! :ohmy:

Sharing of pringles is only ever done on a 'need to' only basis - with me deciding if the 'need to' really warrants such a gesture!!

On your 50th I will be making that gesture!! :yesyes:

Piglet :flowers:

[honeybee3939]

Hi

I am 44 and my two girls are 19 and 16 and i dont seem to see much of them now as there always at boyfriends or out with mates, husband likes fishing and goes most weekends so simetimes i do feel lonely.:ohmy:

Im hoping as i get older though i will take a leaf out of my mums book, she is 73 and as a better social life than me ! shes out every night, she likes a drink or 3(hubby calls her the "exorsist" as she wont leave a room till all the spirits have gone!") she goes on cruises around the med and partys like a 18 year old!!I cant keep up with her! most parents have to texted there kids to see where they are, but i have to text my mum ! Bless her !!

She keeps telling me "dont let anything get in your way, just go out and have fun!"

if this is what getting older is like .i cant wait !!!:)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[bearcrazy]

Well I have got through that barrier and on Wednesday will 51! I have to admit I found it hard and had a bit of a mid-life crisis about it, but life is what you make it! You can still do whatever you did at 21 when you are 50, and its more fun cos it embarrasses your kids!!!!!! My daughter has gone to uni and my son lives with his GF, and although we love them visiting we enjoy the peace (and tidiness). I'm sure you'll be fine. Each day is special, whether you are 21 0r 50. You could always do what my brother did, started going backwards, completely bewildered his autistic son!!!!! make it a Good Day!

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[groovygranny]

Aaw rickards, don't you know that 50 is the new 40 ?!!

I know this is easier said than done but please try not to let your anxiety overwhelm your enjoyment of this new phase in your life.

Even though my anx problems only came to light when I was just turned 50, the last two years of my life have been just awesome !! :winks:

I intend to squeeze every ounce out of life and grow old as outrageously as possible (and believe I am achieving that objective, not always on purpose I may add:blush:!) and I wanna be like Andrea's mum when I'm 73 !!

Like Ray says, 50 is just another number.........I'll be 53 in October and am already looking forward to being 60.......

....cos by then 60 will be the new 50 !!:shades::yahoo:


Big hugs for you

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

:flowers:

[Paddington]

Hi Ricards,oh i am sooooo feeling for you hun:hugs: when i turned 50,i went into a decline that lasted nearly 2 years!!I hated it i felt scared ,and my own mortality sort of loomed at me:ohmy: .Now i am 52 it has calmed down somewhat and i dont think about it so much:) Also in the past 8months my last two children have flown the nest and i miss them SOOOOOOOOO much i ache!:weep: The house is so still:huh: Well,whati do now is go out to concerts as much as i can..last month it was the Who!! and Simon webb..i actually had my picture taken with Simon[first name terms you notice!!ha ha ha]My daughter thinks i am an old groupie...who cares!!!:shrug: As for the dying young,yep alot of my family died young too Matey,not nice hun :flowers: But we ARE NOT THEM!You are a lovely woman,so enjoy your birthday hun as the unique individual that you are:flowers: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxPiglet ,you make me howl!!:D

[domino]

Oooooh, thankyou all soo much, where would i be without you all? your offically my extended family. Today has been a good day and you are all the icing on my cake. xxxxxx

[pauline]

Hi I will be 46 this year with children all getting married haveing babies and i have told them quite clearly lol that i shall not be getting too 50.

I will be permently 49. I have to say that getting to 40 was bad, but the thought of getting to 50 scares me much more, thats why i am determined to stay at 49. Now if only i could pay for surgery then i might just get to stay looking 49. It's ok for others to have banners declareing they are 50 outside there house but if anyone in my family thinks its a good idea they will not be making there next birthday lol.

[domino]

Ah pauline, when i was 40 my twin sister had a huge party, and i mean huge, too much for me but it was her day too. my brother graduated that day too.T he following week my hubbi and our daughters flew off to florida. This year i will proberly spend it under the duvet. lol

[domino]

One thing i forgot to mention is that one of my cards was hand made, every year it,s put up with the rest. It,s of a women with the perfect figure, and at the bottom it reads 39 forever. M aybe i will get one this year that says 49 and holding!! lol

[pauline]

The duvet sounds lovely to me. Get yourself a very large bottle of wine an even larger bar of chocolate and don't come out till the next day. lol Joking aside i do have some years to go yet, but really i do not want to be 50 just sounds so old. I'm truely sorry for saying that to people that are already 50 just remember i will get their one day wether i like it or not.

[marg]

hi i just thought i would add i will be 50 on wednesday and i must admit its been on my mind a lot all the things i have missed out on with having panic attacks and not being able to go out my daughter is nearly 16 and she has grown up with me being like this i get better for a few months then go back to wear i started my husband does his best to help but it is not easy for them so i think its time to try harder and make my self go out and do the things i want to do and enjoy myself love marg

[domino]

Hi marg, you go girl, i would like to wish you all you wish yourself on your birthday. You are not alone with this feeling, already have had lots of replies to this tread. Give yourself a birthday gift and aim too get out more if not for you for your daughter. lorraine x