Ih8HA
15-08-17, 14:33
Hello,
I have a huge fear of HIV. I don't even know why I have this fear or where it even came from.
I have convinced myself that a friend set me up and I sat on a syringe/needle full of HIV blood and have contracted HIV. I have done so many searches on google to see if I would feel a needle go through my jeans and skin be it in the back of my legs, butt or back. A lot of people say yes and then of course there is the handful that say no. So now I am putting myself in the category with people that say no.
I have been trying so hard to rationalize everything and I am fine for 5 minutes before I am back to thinking someone did this to me and I didn't notice. I have had numerous tests, all negative, but then I think "what if it was a recent infection"? Or "What if I tested too early"? I usually test every 2 months with a 4th or 5th gen duo test.
I have tried counseling and medication and neither worked out for me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am always going to be stuck in this cycle and depressed. I can't even function in life. I don't go anywhere, I don't do anything.
I have a huge fear of HIV. I don't even know why I have this fear or where it even came from.
I have convinced myself that a friend set me up and I sat on a syringe/needle full of HIV blood and have contracted HIV. I have done so many searches on google to see if I would feel a needle go through my jeans and skin be it in the back of my legs, butt or back. A lot of people say yes and then of course there is the handful that say no. So now I am putting myself in the category with people that say no.
I have been trying so hard to rationalize everything and I am fine for 5 minutes before I am back to thinking someone did this to me and I didn't notice. I have had numerous tests, all negative, but then I think "what if it was a recent infection"? Or "What if I tested too early"? I usually test every 2 months with a 4th or 5th gen duo test.
I have tried counseling and medication and neither worked out for me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am always going to be stuck in this cycle and depressed. I can't even function in life. I don't go anywhere, I don't do anything.