FightingTheBrain
15-08-17, 17:36
Everyday seems to be a new thing. Just now I saw a girl from a medium distance (my eyesight isn't amazing) and my initial thought was 'she's good looking'. Within seconds she'd got closer to me and I realised she was far too young to look at like that, and then felt guilty like I'm a horrible person.
I just can't cope with this, 6 months ago that would have happened and I'd have brushed it off as a nothing moment, like who cares, you initially thought she was older than she is, no big deal, you didn't think anything sexual about her. The instant thought process would be 'whoops' and move on. Right now I feel like every one I look at I need to double check their age, it's awful, like my brain wants to turn me into something I don't want to be.
I just can't cope with this, 6 months ago that would have happened and I'd have brushed it off as a nothing moment, like who cares, you initially thought she was older than she is, no big deal, you didn't think anything sexual about her. The instant thought process would be 'whoops' and move on. Right now I feel like every one I look at I need to double check their age, it's awful, like my brain wants to turn me into something I don't want to be.