Anxiousinlondon
16-08-17, 00:01
Hi all, first time poster here, very glad to have somewhere to talk about this stuff. Sorry if this is a bit long!
I’m 32, male and live in London. Non-smoker (have never smoked, but grew up around smokers - thanks mum and dad!). I have had one episode of health anxiety before, about ten years ago, when I was convinced I had HIV. (I didn’t.) I know first-hand how debilitating HA can be. I’ve also been browsing already in relation to the issue I describe below and people’s posts here have generally been so thoughtful and kind that you have already helped me to regain a bit of control and perspective.
Anyway, unfortunately I’ve been having another HA episode in relation to symptoms that have been going on for some time, and I’m finding it very difficult. I can’t stop thinking that I have lung cancer and that I’m going to die.
In short, I went to A&E in May 2014 (3 years and 3 months ago to be precise...) with chest pain. I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I was having a heart attack. It felt... weird. Pain between the ribs and deep inside my chest. Scary. The doctors took my symptoms and did an ECG and a physical examination and told me, based on their observations, that I was not having a heart attack and the problem was most probably muscular. I had been going to the gym quite heavily for a few years and had stopped about a month before this incident because I hurt my lower back. The doctor palpated the space in between my ribs quite hard, which seemed to provide some relief.
Since then, I’ve had episodic recurring chest pain. The symptoms haven’t really changed since I went to A&E originally. It’s usually on the left side of my chest, and the position of it isn’t always consistent as far as I can tell. Sometimes it feels close to the sternum. Other times it feels closer to my left nipple. I’m also fairly sure I’ve had twinges of it across the right side of my chest. It is usually between the ribs and feels quite... deep?
To be honest, I was quite happy with what the doctor at the hospital said and the occasional twinge didn’t really bother me. Nevertheless, I did go to the doctor again about 18 months ago (can’t remember precise timing) and repeated the history etc and was examined, and she seemed pretty relaxed about it. Nothing further was done, no tests or anything. That was that.
Pain continued on and off (I don’t know timing because I just wasn’t keeping a note of it - maybe once a month, for a couple of hours?) and I had a recent episode during a holiday in France, which led me to seek further medical advice (I told my other half who suggested it...). The doctor suggested it sounded respiratory and that I could leave it for a few weeks and see if it improved. I suggested I’d like a referral or an x ray and so she referred me. I have my appointment with a thoracic/respiratory/lung cancer specialist on Friday. (She didn’t assign me to him - my health insurers just found me the earliest available respiratory physician appointment). I should also mention I have asthma, diagnosed about 15 years ago. My asthma is triggered by anxiety. It has, at times, been poorly controlled. I have therefore had episodes of breathlessness and asthmatic symptoms.
I have no other symptoms.
For some reason, the reality of having an appointment with a specialist set something off in my mind and now I am convinced that the only thing this could be is lung cancer. My grandfather died of lung cancer about 5 years ago (he was in his late 70s and had been a heavy smoker from the age of 12 - seriously). I did the foolish thing of consulting Dr Google (I know, I know) which of course has made my anxiety 1,000 times worse. I think my HA is also tied up with guilt and I feel like I would deserve to get sick because I didn’t take enough care of myself for probing what the doctors I visited said. I just... didn’t think it was that big of a deal after I’d seen them.
The thing is, in my rational mind, I know it’s sensible to get this checked. It could be cardiac. It could be respiratory. Who knows. It seems like there are some very informed people on these boards as far as this issue is concerned, and I understand (but please correct me) that lung cancer is quite rare at my age and that, assuming my symptoms at A&E were lung cancer, I would probably have been quite advanced at that point. Doesn’t lung cancer only present with symptoms once it’s fairly advanced? And if that’s right, I’d probably no longer be around to be typing this, or would at least be seriously suffering right now. I don’t know if this is right, but I also would have thought that symptoms such as chest pain and breathlessness (assuming it’s not caused by my asthma...) would not be coming and going if this was lung cancer - they’d just be constant. Whereas as I mentioned, my symptoms have come and gone over the past three years or so.
But that’s my rational mind. My irrational mind has me completely convinced that this is the end and that it’s all over. I’d therefore be so grateful for any thoughts and comments. I’m just trying to get through this day by day until Friday and so any support appreciated. I’ll be happy to update this once I’ve spoken to the specialist on Friday too (maybe happy is the wrong word...)
I’m 32, male and live in London. Non-smoker (have never smoked, but grew up around smokers - thanks mum and dad!). I have had one episode of health anxiety before, about ten years ago, when I was convinced I had HIV. (I didn’t.) I know first-hand how debilitating HA can be. I’ve also been browsing already in relation to the issue I describe below and people’s posts here have generally been so thoughtful and kind that you have already helped me to regain a bit of control and perspective.
Anyway, unfortunately I’ve been having another HA episode in relation to symptoms that have been going on for some time, and I’m finding it very difficult. I can’t stop thinking that I have lung cancer and that I’m going to die.
In short, I went to A&E in May 2014 (3 years and 3 months ago to be precise...) with chest pain. I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I was having a heart attack. It felt... weird. Pain between the ribs and deep inside my chest. Scary. The doctors took my symptoms and did an ECG and a physical examination and told me, based on their observations, that I was not having a heart attack and the problem was most probably muscular. I had been going to the gym quite heavily for a few years and had stopped about a month before this incident because I hurt my lower back. The doctor palpated the space in between my ribs quite hard, which seemed to provide some relief.
Since then, I’ve had episodic recurring chest pain. The symptoms haven’t really changed since I went to A&E originally. It’s usually on the left side of my chest, and the position of it isn’t always consistent as far as I can tell. Sometimes it feels close to the sternum. Other times it feels closer to my left nipple. I’m also fairly sure I’ve had twinges of it across the right side of my chest. It is usually between the ribs and feels quite... deep?
To be honest, I was quite happy with what the doctor at the hospital said and the occasional twinge didn’t really bother me. Nevertheless, I did go to the doctor again about 18 months ago (can’t remember precise timing) and repeated the history etc and was examined, and she seemed pretty relaxed about it. Nothing further was done, no tests or anything. That was that.
Pain continued on and off (I don’t know timing because I just wasn’t keeping a note of it - maybe once a month, for a couple of hours?) and I had a recent episode during a holiday in France, which led me to seek further medical advice (I told my other half who suggested it...). The doctor suggested it sounded respiratory and that I could leave it for a few weeks and see if it improved. I suggested I’d like a referral or an x ray and so she referred me. I have my appointment with a thoracic/respiratory/lung cancer specialist on Friday. (She didn’t assign me to him - my health insurers just found me the earliest available respiratory physician appointment). I should also mention I have asthma, diagnosed about 15 years ago. My asthma is triggered by anxiety. It has, at times, been poorly controlled. I have therefore had episodes of breathlessness and asthmatic symptoms.
I have no other symptoms.
For some reason, the reality of having an appointment with a specialist set something off in my mind and now I am convinced that the only thing this could be is lung cancer. My grandfather died of lung cancer about 5 years ago (he was in his late 70s and had been a heavy smoker from the age of 12 - seriously). I did the foolish thing of consulting Dr Google (I know, I know) which of course has made my anxiety 1,000 times worse. I think my HA is also tied up with guilt and I feel like I would deserve to get sick because I didn’t take enough care of myself for probing what the doctors I visited said. I just... didn’t think it was that big of a deal after I’d seen them.
The thing is, in my rational mind, I know it’s sensible to get this checked. It could be cardiac. It could be respiratory. Who knows. It seems like there are some very informed people on these boards as far as this issue is concerned, and I understand (but please correct me) that lung cancer is quite rare at my age and that, assuming my symptoms at A&E were lung cancer, I would probably have been quite advanced at that point. Doesn’t lung cancer only present with symptoms once it’s fairly advanced? And if that’s right, I’d probably no longer be around to be typing this, or would at least be seriously suffering right now. I don’t know if this is right, but I also would have thought that symptoms such as chest pain and breathlessness (assuming it’s not caused by my asthma...) would not be coming and going if this was lung cancer - they’d just be constant. Whereas as I mentioned, my symptoms have come and gone over the past three years or so.
But that’s my rational mind. My irrational mind has me completely convinced that this is the end and that it’s all over. I’d therefore be so grateful for any thoughts and comments. I’m just trying to get through this day by day until Friday and so any support appreciated. I’ll be happy to update this once I’ve spoken to the specialist on Friday too (maybe happy is the wrong word...)