emanticoff73
17-08-17, 15:18
I have read Brain tumors are rare but reading all the comments on this site has scared me. It seems a lot of people know someone who has had one so how can it be so rare? Any statistics that would put my mind at ease would be greatly appreciated. I have two children and my mind has not allowed me to focus the way i should on them. So i need your help.
I have suffered with this god awful curse of health anxiety since I'm little. All started with my first boyfriend. After making him wait a 2yrs to have sex i finally gave in. After the feelings of guilt sank in and i swore i had been given Aids. Why you ask? Because god was punishing me for not waiting till i was married. That was the beginning of hell for me. It's 22 years later and i cant kick this feeling i dont deserve to be happy or live for that matter. When it comes to my kids i feel there must of been a mistake made up in heaven. Why would god give me such beautiful children if Im undeserving. So i constantly think something is going to happen to me or my children. I don't deserve happiness and don't you dare try to be happy.
I have had every disease under the sun and so have my children. Its quite exhausting. 10 months ago i had my first really bad headache. Didn't take all but 5 minutes in that headache to think " holy moly Im dying of brain cancer :wacko:". I spiraled in to a mania of epic proportions. 3 Days later i was at the doctors office and told him about my horrible headache. For which he replied "I'm sending you for an MRI of your brain". I almost fainted. Why i asked. He said well your telling me you don't have headaches and now your having horrible headaches. Okay don't ask me how i made it home. I got in door and whaled. Called my mom to tell her i was dying and the doctor knew it. Well i had the MRI the same day and it came back normal. That was 10 months ago. Fast forward till today. No headaches up till 2 weeks ago. Headaches began with dizziness. Never had dizziness so this really sent me in to a panic. Had jaw pain, deep headache on top of my head, tightening like a muscle spasm that causes pain and then releases. temple pain which was new and muscle twitches. Mind you i was 3 weeks late for my period. I was not pregnant. I'm 44. Was this hormones? No it has to be a brain tumor. I cried for a week. Went to the doc and he checked my reflexes and my eyes and said he didn't see anything to warrant a scan. Went to my Optician and he took a pic of the back of my eye and said no papilledema, no optic swelling. Funny because i almost past out from the pain in his office my headache was so bad.
Still have not had a scan. Which means my HA brain will not allow me to relax until i have one.:blush::lac: The headaches have gotten better but i have weird sensations in my scalp or head of crawling or moving. It's freaking me out. Also have occasional pressure and temple pain. Which seems to be relieved by my sinuses clearing. My family is no help especially the husband. I'm the boy or girl who cried wolf. So that's why im asking for your help. I had an MRI October of 2016, 10 months ago. What is the likelihood that a tumor has appeared since then or worse brain cancer. Also are there any reassuring statistics you can give me so i can calm down. And try to think rationally. I would appreciate it with all of my heart. Feeling very alone.:weep:
I have suffered with this god awful curse of health anxiety since I'm little. All started with my first boyfriend. After making him wait a 2yrs to have sex i finally gave in. After the feelings of guilt sank in and i swore i had been given Aids. Why you ask? Because god was punishing me for not waiting till i was married. That was the beginning of hell for me. It's 22 years later and i cant kick this feeling i dont deserve to be happy or live for that matter. When it comes to my kids i feel there must of been a mistake made up in heaven. Why would god give me such beautiful children if Im undeserving. So i constantly think something is going to happen to me or my children. I don't deserve happiness and don't you dare try to be happy.
I have had every disease under the sun and so have my children. Its quite exhausting. 10 months ago i had my first really bad headache. Didn't take all but 5 minutes in that headache to think " holy moly Im dying of brain cancer :wacko:". I spiraled in to a mania of epic proportions. 3 Days later i was at the doctors office and told him about my horrible headache. For which he replied "I'm sending you for an MRI of your brain". I almost fainted. Why i asked. He said well your telling me you don't have headaches and now your having horrible headaches. Okay don't ask me how i made it home. I got in door and whaled. Called my mom to tell her i was dying and the doctor knew it. Well i had the MRI the same day and it came back normal. That was 10 months ago. Fast forward till today. No headaches up till 2 weeks ago. Headaches began with dizziness. Never had dizziness so this really sent me in to a panic. Had jaw pain, deep headache on top of my head, tightening like a muscle spasm that causes pain and then releases. temple pain which was new and muscle twitches. Mind you i was 3 weeks late for my period. I was not pregnant. I'm 44. Was this hormones? No it has to be a brain tumor. I cried for a week. Went to the doc and he checked my reflexes and my eyes and said he didn't see anything to warrant a scan. Went to my Optician and he took a pic of the back of my eye and said no papilledema, no optic swelling. Funny because i almost past out from the pain in his office my headache was so bad.
Still have not had a scan. Which means my HA brain will not allow me to relax until i have one.:blush::lac: The headaches have gotten better but i have weird sensations in my scalp or head of crawling or moving. It's freaking me out. Also have occasional pressure and temple pain. Which seems to be relieved by my sinuses clearing. My family is no help especially the husband. I'm the boy or girl who cried wolf. So that's why im asking for your help. I had an MRI October of 2016, 10 months ago. What is the likelihood that a tumor has appeared since then or worse brain cancer. Also are there any reassuring statistics you can give me so i can calm down. And try to think rationally. I would appreciate it with all of my heart. Feeling very alone.:weep: