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melfish
18-08-17, 23:35
... or does everyone else on this subforum think, "Yeah, there's no way that's [insert disease] when they read everyone else's post but their own"? :ohmy:
roseanxiety
18-08-17, 23:36
Kind of .


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SolidSteak
18-08-17, 23:39
Absolutely! I find it so easy to rationalise when looking at things in other people but can't see how stupid I'm being when I think I've got an aneurysm at 26!
ServerError
18-08-17, 23:55
If people had the "no way" attitude toward their own fears, the forum wouldn't exist.
ScaredLizard
19-08-17, 00:07
It's why I hang out here. Seeing and being able to rationalize other people's issues helps me do my own. My psych says it's a good thing for me :)
melfish
19-08-17, 00:37
It really highlights the distortion in your own thinking, doesn't it? It's as though my mind is cleaved in two, with one part able to rationalise and accept it could be HA while the other, more dominant part, goes, "Those symptoms match ALS, no way is this anxiety." It's exhausting.

ScaredLizard, I'm glad your psych thinks it's healthy to be on here. I was wondering about that
Fishmanpa
19-08-17, 00:59
My psych says it's a good thing for me :)

IMO, you're an exception SLizard. Most any Psych would discourage reassurance seeking behavior. Just the progress that can be seen in your posting history shows your personal victories over your anxiety and that you're mentally ready to challenge your irrational thoughts AND... having a real physical condition that many fear warrants a reasonable level of concern?... It's no different than what I deal with due to my real physical conditions.

Concerning the question? No... it's not just you.

Positive thoughts
ScaredLizard
19-08-17, 01:08
IMO, you're an exception SLizard. Just the progress that can be seen in your posting history shows that. AND... having a real physical condition that many fear warrants some concern... no different than what I deal with due to my real physical conditions.

Concerning the question? No... it's not just you.

Positive thoughts

Yes I can totally see for some people it could be very bad to be here. But then there's folks like me and it's like 'huh.....I can see how off this thought process is and I know I have had that on occasion. Let's work to stop it' I've gotten better since my psych started doing probability vs possibility with me.

It is hard because I have a genetic disease that affects EVERYTHING so it's sometimes a bit overwhelming which I'm sure you understand with your own health issues and your wife's :hugs:
ServerError
19-08-17, 01:14
I think ScaredLizard's psych was saying that helping others rationalise is what is good for her (him? Sorry, ScaredLizard).

But in general, I can't say I think reassurance-seeking behaviour is ever helpful.
Fishmanpa
19-08-17, 01:19
I think ScaredLizard's psych was saying that helping others rationalise is what is good for her (him? Sorry, ScaredLizard).

But in general, I can't say I think reassurance-seeking behaviour is ever helpful.

That's why I referred to her post history. And yes, reassurance behavior is ultimately detrimental.

Positive thoughts
ServerError
19-08-17, 01:30
That's why I referred to her post history. And yes, reassurance behavior is ultimately detrimental.

Positive thoughts

I apologise and reaffirm my affection for you. :hugs:
MyNameIsTerry
19-08-17, 01:40
I think ScaredLizard's psych was saying that helping others rationalise is what is good for her (him? Sorry, ScaredLizard).

But in general, I can't say I think reassurance-seeking behaviour is ever helpful.

Therapists know that avoiding what you fear breeds fear. They remove you from places like this but then need to get you back to confronting them or you will remain with an irrational core belief. The whole point of exposure work really.

Reassurance-seeking is a no-no, using something the correct way is normalising it. And they can monitor your use, as long as you are truthful, and work on strategies to change how you do it.

My therapist encouraged me to join a local charity to help my anxiety. It's not just about anxiety, it's about socialising too. The more you isolate yourself, the worse self confidence & self esteem will get.
ScaredLizard
19-08-17, 01:46
I think ScaredLizard's psych was saying that helping others rationalise is what is good for her (him? Sorry, ScaredLizard).

But in general, I can't say I think reassurance-seeking behaviour is ever helpful.

I'm a female! You were correct.

And for me I'm home-bound due to physical disabilities and illness so honestly a big big part of this for me? Is literally not giving my brain time to over think. Because when you are home 24/7 all day your brain tends to run over a bit. My therapist says getting on here is a good distraction for me.
MyNameIsTerry
19-08-17, 01:48
... or does everyone else on this subforum think, "Yeah, there's no way that's [insert disease] when they read everyone else's post but their own"? :ohmy:

I thik it's because you don't feel it so you can be objective. You don't have the subconscious going "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" in your face at the time. :winks:

So, why not look at people's threads and go through the process, as you already do, and when your turn comes you try to reapply the logic to it? It's hard because you are taking a mental kicking at the time but there are various therapy techniques that do this.

I learnt about Cognitive Distortions but couldn't apply them. I spent my time catagorising the elements of people's posts that fell into CD's. Later I found it easier to apply to myself.
melfish
19-08-17, 01:58
I try *really* hard to apply this rational thinking to myself. Here's where I trip up every time: I can't let me guard down. My mind tells me that if I don't prepare for the worst case scenario, the disease will somehow catch me unawares and I will look foolish. It's a ridiculous fear/thought process, but there you have it.
MyNameIsTerry
19-08-17, 02:18
I think that's true of many. Need for control and fear of the unknown are two of the fundamentals of anxiety disorders.

You don't only have to work on addressing such thinking directly though, there are the methods to relinquish controls such as acceptance, Mindfulness, etc.

I was terrible for doing things in orders and ensuring I had everything I needed to go anywhere. Getting past this means dismantling it just like a compulsion. Purposely leave things, do things out of order to weaken the rigidness, etc. All exposure work really there. Removing the crutches or "safety behaviours", and replacing them with "adaptive strategy" is important.
melfish
19-08-17, 02:23
Yes, accepting what is beyond your control. The basis of Stoic philosophy. And my mind has to go and latch on to arguably the one disease that removes all control ... except, of course, that of the mind
MyNameIsTerry
19-08-17, 03:00
And for someone else it might be something like dementia or SFI or locked in syndrome or blah blah blah :winks: but tomorrow you could be run over crossing the street and yet do you fear that?
melfish
19-08-17, 03:14
but tomorrow you could be run over crossing the street and yet do you fear that?

I ride my bicycle every day without a helmet, so ... :shades:
ScaredLizard
19-08-17, 03:16
I ride my bicycle every day without a helmet, so ... :shades:

My therapist has me doing possibilities vs probabilities. If we think about it ANYTHING is possible but there are very very few probabilities and it's helped me with my anxiety. Maybe it can help you too? I actually started off with listing stuff and it helped me compartmentalize in my brain