MissRose
22-08-17, 13:37
Hi Everyone,
I've just joined this forum and I would love to be able to receive some advice on how I am feeling at the moment.
I've seen so many people on here writing about their concerns and it makes me feel like I'm not alone after all.
Since the age of 9 I have suffered from panic attacks (I am now 26). I used to think I was dying and would seek constant reassurance from my mum that my lips weren't blue and I was going to be okay. Luckily for me, over the years I have been able to recognise that it's 'just a panic attack', and I've been able to ride it out and move on. I knew they would always happen but they didn't scare me - until recently.
It all began with a trip to a restaurant named 'Dans le Noir' (French for 'In the Dark'). It's a restaurant in London whereby you eat in the complete pitch black and are served by blind or visually impaired waiters. The idea behind it is that you are able to experience the use of your other senses whilst trying to eat, drink and navigate your way around a dinner table in the dark!
I had been wanting to go for years but I never really found someone who wanted to experience it with me. Anyway to cut to the chase, eventually I booked a table with work colleagues. I was looking really forward to it - but it actually turned into such a traumatic experience and in turn, has really regressed my brain into a rolling state of panic.
Entering into a pitch black room was immediately extremely claustrophobic and suffocating - I couldn't breathe, I was shaking all over and sweating and my heart felt like it would fall out of my chest.
After constantly being asked to be taken out of the room back into the light, I tried numerous times to re-enter into the dark and tell myself everything was OK - it did not work. The final time I tried to sit down and eat my food was the most traumatic. I wanted to immediately get out, but our waitress was nowhere near our table. Fully in flight mode, I panicked and tried to find my way out of a pitch black room on my own. Obviously I was doomed from the start! I was shouting and on the verge of crying asking for anyone to help me and take me out as I thought I was going to faint. It felt like I was in a never -ending nightmare. I wanted to curl up into a ball and just wish it away. Luckily one of the waitresses located me, grabbed my hand and lead me into the light. I ran to the bathroom and sat down trying to compose myself. I was completely and utterly freaked out - and also really embarrassed.
Since this happened, my re-discovered panic has now decided to rear it's ugly head in different situations. I had to leave the cinema after 10 minutes, because as soon as the lights turned off, I went into full panic mode. I thought I was going to pass out, I was shaking and sweating all over again with my heart going haywire. I now also can't face taking the tube (which I have to do weekly for my job). I panic when I'm in big noisy crowds of people, and also recently on holiday I panicked when I was sitting in a restaurant that was really noisy and hot - it went on for over an hour.
Basically, I feel scared of everything now. I feel scared of all the 'what ifs' and the fear of being ill. My heart always concerns me when I feel it skipping a beat or going abnormally fast - it sets me off into yet another realm of panic. I also get adrenaline rushes when I'm trying to sleep sometimes. It's like it's taking over my life and I really don't know what to do.
Sorry for the long essay! Does anybody else have anything similar or any advice?
Thank you! :blush: x
I've just joined this forum and I would love to be able to receive some advice on how I am feeling at the moment.
I've seen so many people on here writing about their concerns and it makes me feel like I'm not alone after all.
Since the age of 9 I have suffered from panic attacks (I am now 26). I used to think I was dying and would seek constant reassurance from my mum that my lips weren't blue and I was going to be okay. Luckily for me, over the years I have been able to recognise that it's 'just a panic attack', and I've been able to ride it out and move on. I knew they would always happen but they didn't scare me - until recently.
It all began with a trip to a restaurant named 'Dans le Noir' (French for 'In the Dark'). It's a restaurant in London whereby you eat in the complete pitch black and are served by blind or visually impaired waiters. The idea behind it is that you are able to experience the use of your other senses whilst trying to eat, drink and navigate your way around a dinner table in the dark!
I had been wanting to go for years but I never really found someone who wanted to experience it with me. Anyway to cut to the chase, eventually I booked a table with work colleagues. I was looking really forward to it - but it actually turned into such a traumatic experience and in turn, has really regressed my brain into a rolling state of panic.
Entering into a pitch black room was immediately extremely claustrophobic and suffocating - I couldn't breathe, I was shaking all over and sweating and my heart felt like it would fall out of my chest.
After constantly being asked to be taken out of the room back into the light, I tried numerous times to re-enter into the dark and tell myself everything was OK - it did not work. The final time I tried to sit down and eat my food was the most traumatic. I wanted to immediately get out, but our waitress was nowhere near our table. Fully in flight mode, I panicked and tried to find my way out of a pitch black room on my own. Obviously I was doomed from the start! I was shouting and on the verge of crying asking for anyone to help me and take me out as I thought I was going to faint. It felt like I was in a never -ending nightmare. I wanted to curl up into a ball and just wish it away. Luckily one of the waitresses located me, grabbed my hand and lead me into the light. I ran to the bathroom and sat down trying to compose myself. I was completely and utterly freaked out - and also really embarrassed.
Since this happened, my re-discovered panic has now decided to rear it's ugly head in different situations. I had to leave the cinema after 10 minutes, because as soon as the lights turned off, I went into full panic mode. I thought I was going to pass out, I was shaking and sweating all over again with my heart going haywire. I now also can't face taking the tube (which I have to do weekly for my job). I panic when I'm in big noisy crowds of people, and also recently on holiday I panicked when I was sitting in a restaurant that was really noisy and hot - it went on for over an hour.
Basically, I feel scared of everything now. I feel scared of all the 'what ifs' and the fear of being ill. My heart always concerns me when I feel it skipping a beat or going abnormally fast - it sets me off into yet another realm of panic. I also get adrenaline rushes when I'm trying to sleep sometimes. It's like it's taking over my life and I really don't know what to do.
Sorry for the long essay! Does anybody else have anything similar or any advice?
Thank you! :blush: x