Spot on my back/shoulder - feeling engulfed in doom & despair

[Goldberry]

Hello all ~ I joined this forum for moral support as I await my dermatologist appointment tomorrow.

I have had a spot on my back for over a year now. It appeared suddenly, I mean honestly - it was just there one day.

For whatever reason, I never did anything about it. Until - two days ago, I was researching an article for a client (I am a health writer) and I saw photos of nodular melanoma and basal cell carcinoma. Both of these look identical to what I have on my back.

So - I am legitimately freaking out. Even my husband is freaking out. I know it's pointless to do this to myself, and it's only making things worse, but I can't seem to win over my thoughts with reason and rationale.

I believe I've made myself sick over the past two days worrying about this - now I have flu sensations, and a feeling of fullness in the throat, so of course I'm thinking: it's cancer taking over my lymph nodes and spreading!

Ugh. Any words of wisdom/comfort/advice/tips for relaxing/etc. would be wonderful. I just can't seem to stop the doom and despair thoughts.

[Midnight-mouse]

Right now the only thing there is, is to wait for the appointment and see what comes of it. Unless you get told any different it's still the same old spot that's been there for year.

I know it's almost impossible right now but try and take your mind off things. You can drop me a message or anything if you would like to chat


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[CHELLEB1017]

Do you have a photo of it? I am awaiting my biopsy results currently from a pink spot I had removed off of my thigh Monday and am soooo stressed out. It was there I believe for 8 months if not longer. I believe it was a bug bite since it was bigger then went down but never went away. It never bled, crusted, changed colors etc.. but still I am a nervous wreck. One thing the derm mentioned was she thought it was a dermafibroma not melanoma as in 8 months it have grown a lot bigger than the 3mm it was.

[Goldberry]

I don't have a photo of it, but I can link to a photo it looks exactly like -
The photo of the man's nose on this page -->
medicinenet.com/image-collection/basal_cell_carcinoma_advanced_nodular_bcc_picture/picture.htm

looks almost identical to what I have on my upper left back. Even the 3 dots and their positioning. This is a basal cell carcinoma.

Then, on this page about nodular melanoma: healthline.com/health/skin-cancer/nodular-melanoma#pictures2

the photo with the eye shaped ink pen drawing around it also looks just like what I have on my back.

Other than when it first grew (which I never even noticed, it's just always been this size for the last year), it's stayed the same in size. There were color changes in the center - ranging from dark red to brown/black, but the color is mainly pink now that I have started putting oregano oil on it daily.

It doesn't itch or hurt.

I am natural white blond, with green eyes, freckled skin, 32 years old, with a strong history of sunburns as a child so I fit all of the stereotypes :/

Anyway - I'm trying to heed the Stoic philosopher's advice "It's ruinous for the soul to be anxious about the future and miserable in advance of misery..." and just relax until I have actual facts.

But I'm having a difficult time, and even looking outside at the beautiful nature I keep getting these doom feelings. When listening to music last night driving with my husband, I started crying imagining him alone.

Good grief - health anxiety. Now I've created flu symptoms from worrying, most likely.

[CHELLEB1017]

This was mine! I am petrified also! I am hoping my derm is right and it is just a dermafibroma but this waiting is stressing me out. I hope we both get good news!

[Goldberry]

Oh goodness, I have spots that look like that everywhere LOL.

Certainly not to diminish yours - but goodness, I don't think I would ever even pay attention to a spot like that. Which is not good! I need to be more aware, obviously.

I'm sure we'll all be just fine - statistically, these things are rare. So. *big exhale*

Now I need to go take a walk and try to get out of this head of mine! But of course, I still welcome feedback :p :p Thank you all!

[CHELLEB1017]

I have been taking lots of walks and things too to try and keep my mind from all these doom and gloom thoughts! If ya wanna talk feel free to message me! Positive vibes for all of us :)

[NervUs]

Oh honey, I feel your pain. I was where you are about 3-4 months ago. I was in a really good groove with HA, not feeling any sense of urgency, I skipped my skin check, and I let a new bump go for over a year. Derm PA thought basal cell, but it looked EXACTLY like pictures of nodular melanoma, much more so than it resembled basal cell.

Well, it ended up being basal cell, thankfully, and my other stroke of luck is that it was on my shoulder and not my face. IN the grand scheme, I feel so lucky, and it was easy to deal with-- I ended up having it removed surgically so that they could check margins.

I really hope you get a benign result or, at the worst basal cell. I know the wait is torture. This is easier said than done, but try not to jump ahead of the process. I fail at that regularly but it is my HA goal!!!!

I hope

[Goldberry]

Thanks NervUs - somehow it is so helpful to hear other people's similar experiences :) I'm doing well today at relaxing and letting what IS, be.
It can feel so good in those zen moments when you just stop resisting and let things be what they are, when they are.

Forever learning and growing. These little trials can be good teachers if we let them, eh?

[StarsDie]

Hope all goes well at the appointment!

[NervUs]

HOw did your appointment go, Goldberry??

Thinking of you!

[CHELLEB1017]

Any update Goldberry? Thinking of you!

[Goldberry]

Thank you all for thinking of me :)

The doctor believes it to be a seborrheic keratosis, at worst maybe a basal cell carcinoma. She does not think it's melanoma. But we did a biopsy just to be sure and I should have results from that by Thursday or Friday.

Of course, my health anxiety is telling me I need to keep worrying, but I have felt a strong sense of relief. I have to remember: she is an expert and deals with skin growths daily.

[CHELLEB1017]

So relieved to hear this news!!!!!!

[Goldberry]

Biopsy results are in: it's a basal cell carcinoma

I get it removed Tuesday! So relieved this is treatable. Phew!

Now I'm a close watcher of my skin henceforth. Thank you all again for your support.

Best wishes

[CHELLEB1017]

So happy you went in and it will be removed and gone!!!!!!
Best wished to you too!