Petty squabbles

[venusbluejeans]

This is aimed at a few on here and not the many…….

I am amazed at the amount of posts that are reported daily where the thread has turned into a petty argument.

The children I look after seem to deal with confrontation better than some of the members on NMP they don’t hold grudges, mostly try to see the good in everyone, try to be friendly with everyone and if all else fails step away from the situation.

The Admins have many better things they could be doing rather than sorting out squabbles between members, when they shouldn’t even be happening, especially at the moment while we are moderating every new member who registers on the site.

Sometimes it is like you start an argument with someone and then expect the admins to sort it out, when both sides are at fault. What do you expect us to do when you are at fault too?

Please keep it off the forum, sort it out amongst yourself, don’t hijack other members threads with your arguments!

Are you not a bigger person than this? Are these petty squabbles really worth it? Especially on a forum which is dedicated to supporting people with anxiety??

So please stop with the arguments, stop with the sarcastic comments, stop with the sly comments aimed at other members on the ‘fun’ threads and passing it off as a bit of fun (we are not stupid)

Sorry to those who have read this and it has nothing to do with them……. Just trying to make No More Panic a happy and non-confrontational place to be.

Thank you 😊

[Catherine S]

They're not all 'petty' though are they. Some people can be really mean and bullying, and I thought it was the role of the admins to stop that kind of behaviour...it's what admins on any forum have to deal with. I mean...if you aren't monitoring people, what's the point?

You always say there's alot going on in the background and I believe you and sympathise fully and appreciate all you do in the background, but part of the role of a forum administrator is actually controlling what's happening on the boards. There used to be alot of admins and moderators at one time, but now there are only a few so I know it's difficult, particularly since the forum has grown so much.

I personally very seldom report anything to the admins...hardly ever in fact unless its absolutely necessary, because it's not always possible to cope with bullying without back-up, because often it can develop into much more than a petty squabble. Sometimes we need your help. Please don't make us feel guilty for that.

Just my thoughts,

Cath x

[Bigboyuk]

They're not all 'petty' though are they. Some people can be really mean and bullying, and I thought it was the role of the admins to stop that kind of behaviour...it's what admins on any forum have to deal with. I mean...if you aren't monitoring people, what's the point?

You always say there's alot going on in the background and I believe you and sympathise fully and appreciate all you do in the background, but part of the role of a forum administrator is actually controlling what's happening on the boards. There used to be alot of admins and moderators at one time, but now there are only a few so I know it's difficult, particularly since the forum has grown so much.

I personally very seldom report anything to the admins...hardly ever in fact unless its absolutely necessary, because it's not always possible to cope with bullying without back-up, because often it can develop into much more than a petty squabble. Sometimes we need your help. Please don't make us feel guilty for that.

Just my thoughts,

Cath x I will do it this once but have done nothing wrong. I hear you :) But to be fair on Admin/Mods they do their best as you know (They had to deal with a lot of spam bots etc)and do step in, I have had 2 threads one (think on both threads it was noted!)recently where the mods had to step in over name calling or trolling and posted a polite message followed by a reply by me that I would delete the thread if it continued. But totally understand you concerns and if I was a newbie it would put me off for sure. Just wondering would a Zero Tolerance approach work on here? May be the way forward on this Cheers

[Catherine S]

We'll have to see what the admin team suggests I guess Dave.

Also, can I ask you to edit my comments out of your reply please? You've used my name so the others will know you're referring to me, so the quote isn't really necessary. Thanks muchly :)

Cath x

---------- Post added at 10:23 ---------- Previous post was at 10:08 ----------

I've just been reading Katie Pink's thread about her baby, and it certainly puts other stuff into perspective.

So i'm sending Katie a hug from here too :hugs:

[bottleblond]

Hi Emmz

By (Fun threads) do you mean complaints?. If so, can you tell me what was said because I have absolutely no idea.

Thanks

Lisa

[venusbluejeans]

At the minute there seem to be 2 clear ‘sides’ within the arguments who would both say exactly as you have…. that some of the posts border on bullying.

From an Admin point of view it is 2 groups of people who have strong points of view which are normally conflicting…. And from this impartial point of view it is six of one and half a dozen of the other. Both sides give as good as they get. I am guessing those on either side wouldn’t agree with me there though!

so what do you want us to do? Ban one person we would have to probably ban another. Hence the plea to all of you for peace.

To be honest as you would expect we do not make public any communication we send to members about any reported posts or complaints so yes, we definitely monitor members and the forum Just don’t make it public when we ‘tell off’ a member so it may seem to those on the forum that we aren’t doing anything.

Lisa, I am not on about any particular thread on the forum. just the ones that are not dealing with anxiety as such.

[bottleblond]

Thank you for clearing that up. I thought either myself of KK had said something to offend someone but didn't have a clue what!. x