rose1234
26-08-17, 23:33
I'm never really very good at things like this, but ill try and keep it short and sweet.
I've suffered with depression & anxiety for about three years now.
It started off after a nasty breakup, I'd been in the relationship 7 years and it hurt big time. I ended up having a breakdown and went to my GP who diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and OCD and put me on 50mg sertraline.
The sertraline worked, and I got to a point in my life I thought I was happy, so I stopped taking them cold turkey and all was fine until one day out of nowhere I had yet another breakdown and ended up beating the crap out of my fridge?
I went back to the GP and low and behold they put me back on the meds and referred me for CBT.
Again, I got to another 'happy' point when I met my new partner, and I stopped taking the meds again cold turkey (yes I'm stupid, I know). Everything was fine for a while and then out of nowhere I had a huge panic attack in the middle of the supermarket and it's just gone downhill from there.
I left it for a few months in hope I could control the anxiety without medication, CBT and tried to convince myself I was okay, but ever since that panic attack I have severe health anxiety, it's literally taking over my life & when I took myself to a&e twice for 'chest pains' I knew something had to give. I had ECG's done, blood tests, stool samples, X-rays, urine samples which all came back fine but yet I just can't convince myself I'm okay and need constant reassurance.
I'm so hypersensitive to everything my body does, and I dread the worse every time. My biggest fear at the moment being my chest pain.
I went back to my GP who put me on 50mg Sertraline but after a week she upped it to 100mg because the anxiety was so bad I wasn't really able to function. I've had a lot going on in life at the moment and I'm really struggling to cope with it all.
It's gotten to the point where I'm becoming scared of everything.
I'm scared to use paint, as I'm scared if a drop of it got into a wound I'll die.
I'm scared to do gardening incase I get pricked by a thorn and die.
I'm scared of using new cleaning products I've not used before incase it gets in a cut and I die.
I'm scared of going to certain places i.e. the cinema as I had a panic attack there ONCE.
I'm scared of drinking even one alcohol drink incase it kills me due to my chest pain.
I'm scared to drink caffeine incase it kills me due to my chest pain.
I'm scared of going to sleep incase something happens in the night.
I'm scared to talk about what I'm scared about incase I jinx it.
I could go on, but I wanted to try and keep it short and sweet and low and behold I'm rambling.
I just feel really alone, although I know I'm not.
as much as I'd never wish this on my worst enemy, it'd be lovely to make some friends who are going through something similar and who don't think I'm crazy for feeling this way. Xx
I've suffered with depression & anxiety for about three years now.
It started off after a nasty breakup, I'd been in the relationship 7 years and it hurt big time. I ended up having a breakdown and went to my GP who diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and OCD and put me on 50mg sertraline.
The sertraline worked, and I got to a point in my life I thought I was happy, so I stopped taking them cold turkey and all was fine until one day out of nowhere I had yet another breakdown and ended up beating the crap out of my fridge?
I went back to the GP and low and behold they put me back on the meds and referred me for CBT.
Again, I got to another 'happy' point when I met my new partner, and I stopped taking the meds again cold turkey (yes I'm stupid, I know). Everything was fine for a while and then out of nowhere I had a huge panic attack in the middle of the supermarket and it's just gone downhill from there.
I left it for a few months in hope I could control the anxiety without medication, CBT and tried to convince myself I was okay, but ever since that panic attack I have severe health anxiety, it's literally taking over my life & when I took myself to a&e twice for 'chest pains' I knew something had to give. I had ECG's done, blood tests, stool samples, X-rays, urine samples which all came back fine but yet I just can't convince myself I'm okay and need constant reassurance.
I'm so hypersensitive to everything my body does, and I dread the worse every time. My biggest fear at the moment being my chest pain.
I went back to my GP who put me on 50mg Sertraline but after a week she upped it to 100mg because the anxiety was so bad I wasn't really able to function. I've had a lot going on in life at the moment and I'm really struggling to cope with it all.
It's gotten to the point where I'm becoming scared of everything.
I'm scared to use paint, as I'm scared if a drop of it got into a wound I'll die.
I'm scared to do gardening incase I get pricked by a thorn and die.
I'm scared of using new cleaning products I've not used before incase it gets in a cut and I die.
I'm scared of going to certain places i.e. the cinema as I had a panic attack there ONCE.
I'm scared of drinking even one alcohol drink incase it kills me due to my chest pain.
I'm scared to drink caffeine incase it kills me due to my chest pain.
I'm scared of going to sleep incase something happens in the night.
I'm scared to talk about what I'm scared about incase I jinx it.
I could go on, but I wanted to try and keep it short and sweet and low and behold I'm rambling.
I just feel really alone, although I know I'm not.
as much as I'd never wish this on my worst enemy, it'd be lovely to make some friends who are going through something similar and who don't think I'm crazy for feeling this way. Xx