What is wrong with me?

[MissB85]

I've made a right mess of things due to my mental state and have ruined my life!

I am at my wits end and have made a complete mess of my job.

Basically my mental health issues have made me struggle on a daily basis, I feel suicidal most days and changes at work have made things harder. The past month I have needed to take time off to help a family member but unable to get leave I made the stupid mistake of exaggerating to get the leave approved.

Yesterday I opened up to my manager who understands my difficulties but has been honest that it doesn't look good and a formal meeting will be needed to investigate but any outcome is ultimately decided by HR. The outcome could be dismissal or disciplinary action.

I have made it clear that I know I have made a mistake and that I want to keep my job, I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time but this won't matter, ultimately I have been dishonest. Although I would be take improvement action on the chin I know that they are likely to dismiss me.

I have had a couple of interviews so my manager knows I have been looking elsewhere due to the trouble I'm having which won't go in my favour either.

I have applied for 20 jobs in the last 24 hours as I am trying to see the positive and think this may be the push I need to move on. I can resign before my meeting but my concern is references.

I am willing to go through agencies to get some temp work to try out different things and build on my skills. I have a lot of experience and recently completed a qualification.

Next week I am going to call my union and see where I stand but right now I am ill, I can't eat as I'm sick. I can't focus and I feel tingly all over so I also need to see my doctor.I am just thinking the worse, I have a few weeks pay to receive but ultimately if I can't secure work soon I can't afford to live. I'll be homeless as housing benefit won't cover my rent.

If I need to claim benefits I'll be screwed regardless of if I'm dismissed of resign due to ill health. I'll be living on the breadline, make it difficult to find a job and no other way out than to end things.

I've never been normal, apparently I have mixed depressive and anxiety disorder but surely it shouldn't make me do stupid things like this?

I've hit a new low! In the past I've gone into rages and cut people off and told other stupid lies but this is stupid.

[Benjammin69]

Hi, I am a manager of a business and deal with HR policies regularly. So I can help you can you let me know the following :-

Is your depression/anxiety been confirmed and a formal diagnosis from a dr?

Do you take any meds? Which ones? Are they sedating?

What was the actual lie you told and why are Hr involved?

Anyway reason for all this is that since the change from the disability act to the equality act - depression and mental health comes under that and is confirmed an actual disability now. So if they were to dismiss you they really need some solid grounds as you could appeal under breach of the equality act as your mental health is not right at the moment? And if
You have told your boss then your boss should know this


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[MissB85]

Basically, since May I have really struggled with anxiety and depression. My GP diagnosed this in 2016, since September I got used to my medication and was managing a lot better. I am on citalopram at the highest dose with diazepan as and when I need it.

Until January when business restructuring started happening, I've been in and out of training due to business needs, moved team areas more times than I can count and I am now on my 4th manager since January.

Since May things slowly got worse, and came to a head about 4 weeks ago where I needed to reduce my hours to give me an extra day off per week but I still found myself exhausted and needed a reason to take holiday as getting holiday approved has been difficult recently.

My Dad was unwell and I exaggerated this saying it was another family member and that eventually he died and I had leave approved on this basis, on Friday I was off as they thought it was his funeral but the stress got to me so I just came clean with my manager.

He spoke to HR and said they would need a formal chat and investigate as I've ruined the trust we had. I am on a final warning with ongoing referral to occ health for sickness but my file is clean in relation to behaviour and performance.

My performance is somehow good and achieving my standards. I am not a liar when my mental state is good, I am ashamed that I lied about such a thing but I am not in the right frame of mind at all.

[Benjammin69]

Your covered under the equality act due to your mental health not being great- you really need to emphasise this point to them. This isn't about you lying this about you not being in the right frame of mind and needing time out. I'm on loads of meds similar and all these meds can affect your thinking and your brain chemistry x


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[MissB85]

Your covered under the equality act due to your mental health not being great- you really need to emphasise this point to them. This isn't about you lying this about you not being in the right frame of mind and needing time out. I'm on loads of meds similar and all these meds can affect your thinking and your brain chemistry x


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Thank you, I really hope I get through this and keep my job.