Just officially diagnosed.

[lostritenow]

I was officially diagnosed by an nhs Principal Psychologist on Friday as having moderate to severe ocd (it's severe!!!…..spent almost all summer in bed day and night).

About 2 months ago, a BABCP accredited cbt psychotherapist also gave me an identical diagnosis.

On Friday, after being diagnosed, I could hold conversations and smile a little(first time I've did either in 5 months, as that was when my ocd returned and I had a nervous breakdown.)

I think the nhs diagnosis served as the kind of reassurance us ocd sufferers are not supposed to seek as reassurance feeds ocd.

However, by Saturday afternoon, I was back to not functioning and doubting if I could become a bad person.

How could the first semblance of happiness I have had in all these months of being ill be so short-lived?

I am again asking myself if my intrusive thoughts are ocd or me!!!!!

[Midnight-mouse]

I want to just say that your not alone in this and there are an awful lot of people that have the same troubles and fight the same fight, I'm one of them. When it comes to intrusive thoughts, If your asking yourself that it's the OCD.


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[Noivous]

I'm no expert on ocd or any of this stuff. I try to use common sense and my own experience. I'm not OCD but have had racing intrusive thoughts due to anxiety. Many here have. This is a dark period you are going through but will get through. I once brought someone to see a psychiatrist with EXTREME intrusive thoughts. The worst I've ever seen. This person was so bad I had to accompany them into the doctors office for the session. This doctor was very good. An expert in Boston from India. I will never forget at the end of the session the doctor got up and walked out from behind his desk. He stood my friend up and took both of my friends hands in his own hands. He look my friend straight in the eye and said you are going to get through this...everyone does. The doctor was right. My friend not only got through it but now thrives in life. And you will too. Hang in there.

N.

[lostritenow]

Thank you.

Midnight-mouse,
I am actually back to doubting the diagnosis, despite being diagnosed by the nhs and the private sector.......

Noivous, I had intrusive thoughts 7 years ago and went on an ssri and I became 100% ocd free. I weaned off the med very slowly and the ocd came back about 9 weeks after my last dose.

The ocd I had before I went on the med was just 2 scary intrusive thoughts. This time around my ocd is a million times worse, lots of horrific intrusive thoughts and images.

Ocd has stolen my life, my joy, my happiness, my belief in myself as a good person. I am broken. I need to get through this. I was such a happy person before ocd came back.

[Noivous]

You'll get back to your real self. inside you know who you are. And you know that you are a good person. Btw anyone I've ever known with these types of issues have been genuinely good people. I don't think your case is any different.

[Midnight-mouse]

I wouldn't doubt the diagnosis especially as you have been so successful in eliminating the thoughts and OCD in the past. After coming off the meds the thoughts returned.

Are you able to talk with professionals about ways to regain control? I assume you had reasons to come off the treatment in the first place?

You are not a bad person, your scared you could be and in that your mind is twisting it to make you doubt yourself, and the diagnosis because it's easier for the intrusive thoughts if you believe they could be true not down to a condition.


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[Bigboyuk]

Hi it may be best to see what other options are open to you for treatment wether it's short term medication again and/or some therapy :) the fact you have had a early diagnosis is good and you can get help! I wish you well on your recovery good luck