Need help supporting my daughter

[NikkiD]

I am really struggling to know how to support my daughter.
She is 21 and 18 months ago she sustained a traumatic head injury, suffering a fractured skull, bleed on the brain and lost her hearing completeley in her right ear and is severley deaf in her left.
At the time she was enjoying life, living away in university. After everything had settled down she returned to University but struggled with her studies because of her deafness.
Her friend drifted away because she didn't want to socialise and struggled to hear them and they became inpatient with her when she struggled to hear them.
She quit Uni and and came home. She lives in her bedroom, stays awake until 4/5 am then sleeps until 3 or 4 pm. Her moods are all over the place and she everytime I try and make any suggestions to her she is negative about everything. (I dont nag her honestly)
I struggle to get her to leave the house, she wont apply for jobs because of her anxiety and has no friends.
I am at my wits end and dont know how to help her.

Any help or advise would be really appreciated.

Thank you

Nikki

[mike83]

Can she get a hearing aid for her left ear?
Has she tried to learn BSL (British Sign Language) as I heard there are good Deaf communities around, perhaps you could both learn together.

She needs to try and get back to a normal sleep pattern, I have done the same staying awake all night and asleep all day and its not good for moods. I'd say bed by mid night at least and up by 11am isn't too much to ask.

Is she fearing leaving the house? Maybe some incentives to try and get her out, treat her to a meal or drink. I don't think you should be pressuring her to apply for jobs yet if she is not leaving the house.

Has she been to the doctors for a diagnosis? Sounds to me like anxiety and depression but a doctor will know more. Talk Therapy may be beneficial if she can get a psychologist she can understand.

[CJN]

Sending best wishes to your daughter, what a tough time she has had. Is she getting any help with her mental health? Sounds to me like a specialist mental health professional is needed to support her. It must be devestating to have her life turned upside down so unexpectedly like this.
Try to be patient with her and allow her time, it's a massive adjustment and totally understandable for her to be struggling and avoiding things.

[Dave1]

My sleep has drifted like that because I don't have things to get up for. Also the solitude at night is quite nice. And online chat goes on late into the night as it usually includes Americans. So I can understand her staying up late. For a cure, I was advised to arrange enjoyable activities that make me want to get up. The few times I tried it it worked - like making an arrangement to meet up with a friend or going to Westminster Abbey which closes early afternoon.

[bottleblond]

How awful!. Could your daughter possibly be suffering from PTSD?.

My son was badly bullied at school, to the extent I pulled him out all together. He spend the next two years living as your daughter does now. Up all night and slept all day. He was moody, irritable and there was just no getting through to him. Everything changed when a family friend got him a job in the same place he worked and he's now a completely different person and it was all due to lack of confidence.

I think your daughters confidence has been zapped with what happened to her and her now disability. She has to re-adjust to a different way of life and that's probably a very scary thing to do for someone her age.

A visit to the GP would be a good starting point. They could arrange for her to see someone who would help her work through her troubles and help her gain back her confidence.

It will be a journey but a very worth while one.

Lisa
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