Croydonbee
29-08-17, 13:47
Hi all.
Nigel from Surrey here.
Having a bad time with anxiety, nausea, dizziness and had a shocking panic attack in the middle of the night last week. Hoping that sharing these things will help me and others.
I've posted my story below - hope that's OK.
Many thanks, all.
Nigel
Hi all. My quick background. I'm from just south of Croydon, Surrey. I decided to join this site as I am having a tough time right now and hoped sharing experiences would help. I've suffered anxiety for 20 or so years (really bad back then, with depression too) and controlled it for a long time with the help of 10mp of paroxetine daily, and have enjoyed life in the main. Like my job, my family are supportive and there's nothing really to worry about. A month ago I suddenly felt really nauseous at work - no idea why. Nice new office, nice people etc, open plan. It kept happening daily. I thought it was labyrinthitis at first. But before a straightforward meeting, I became increasingly anxious and had to leave the office to retch. Since then, over the past five weeks, I have got worse and worse, with thoughts pinballing round my head.
Have seen the GP several times. An increase to 30mg of paroxetine made no difference. It's not labyrinthitis but a mental problem which leads to fatigue, nausea, anxiety and has virtually stopped me from living or going out and ever being normal to anyone. Last week I woke up at 3am and thought I was dying. Hot shots of prickly heat all over my body, my heart pounding, my eyes felt like they were popping out of my head and thought I was going to pass out with madness. One of the scariest experiences I've ever had. My wife had to call out the paramedics. It was a full-blown panic attack. The GP has changed my paroxetine to 50mg Sertraline, and also put me on 50g of Pregabaline (twice a day). That was four days ago. The GP was very understanding and I have self-referred for CBT. But I feel worse than ever - head humming and spinning, dizzy, legs shaking, anxiety, feeling sick, getting tearful and feeling there is no answer and that I will even have to give up work. My boss is brilliant and I am working half-days from home, which I can just about manage. But taking public transport, crowds of people, the thought of going back to the office fills me with dread. I have twice taken the train etc recently and felt so ill both times and the anxiety built up the whole journey, with nausea. I just can't envisage getting better - making the worry/anxiety/health worse.
I just want to sleep and not interact with anyone. At night-time, I fear I will suffer another panic attack and pass out when I go to sleep, as my heart is racing and I feel anxious even when I go to sleep.
From grammar school onwards, I have always had rather an inferiority complex, I guess, becoming isolated at times thinking nobody really likes me etc, or at least I'm not popular. At my age now this is not at all true, but I believe these current problems were triggered at the new office at work (even though I'd been happy there a couple of months), seeing people kind of going off for lunch together, and, with the office being open plan, hearing everybody's conversations and suddenly feeling isolated etc (even though I can join in easily and trying to convince myself it doesn't matter). I think it triggered off a really dreadful time when I started the job 21 years ago and was kind of ignored and belittled by some nasty people and had no pal for about two years. I'd go home in tears most days and feeling anxious and belittled and inferior.
I have now written down all the things that are good about me and to be proud of. People so like me, they think I'm witty and sharp and humorous. I know that now, so I don't need to worry. Yet I feel so bad and nauseous and have bad anxiety, despite telling myself all these things. It's a never-ending chaos of thoughts in my head, with the worry of returning to the office with the threat of the anxiety and nausea overwhelming me as soon as I'm there. I'm a kind person, humorous and enjoy the outdoor life (fishing, football etc) My family love me. But right now I feel like I'm letting them down and get tearful and start crying about my dad I lost in 2010, about my mum who's in a care home etc.
I'm just praying the medication kicks, in, but it seems to be worse right now and I just can't see an end to this. When the physical problems are so bad, I just keep thinking that even talking won't help. Just want to sleep all the tome as I can't face anything, smile or laugh.
Thanks for bearing with me. I just want to share my problems in the hope that it will help me or indeed anyone else going through such difficulties.
Thank you, all
Nigel from Surrey here.
Having a bad time with anxiety, nausea, dizziness and had a shocking panic attack in the middle of the night last week. Hoping that sharing these things will help me and others.
I've posted my story below - hope that's OK.
Many thanks, all.
Nigel
Hi all. My quick background. I'm from just south of Croydon, Surrey. I decided to join this site as I am having a tough time right now and hoped sharing experiences would help. I've suffered anxiety for 20 or so years (really bad back then, with depression too) and controlled it for a long time with the help of 10mp of paroxetine daily, and have enjoyed life in the main. Like my job, my family are supportive and there's nothing really to worry about. A month ago I suddenly felt really nauseous at work - no idea why. Nice new office, nice people etc, open plan. It kept happening daily. I thought it was labyrinthitis at first. But before a straightforward meeting, I became increasingly anxious and had to leave the office to retch. Since then, over the past five weeks, I have got worse and worse, with thoughts pinballing round my head.
Have seen the GP several times. An increase to 30mg of paroxetine made no difference. It's not labyrinthitis but a mental problem which leads to fatigue, nausea, anxiety and has virtually stopped me from living or going out and ever being normal to anyone. Last week I woke up at 3am and thought I was dying. Hot shots of prickly heat all over my body, my heart pounding, my eyes felt like they were popping out of my head and thought I was going to pass out with madness. One of the scariest experiences I've ever had. My wife had to call out the paramedics. It was a full-blown panic attack. The GP has changed my paroxetine to 50mg Sertraline, and also put me on 50g of Pregabaline (twice a day). That was four days ago. The GP was very understanding and I have self-referred for CBT. But I feel worse than ever - head humming and spinning, dizzy, legs shaking, anxiety, feeling sick, getting tearful and feeling there is no answer and that I will even have to give up work. My boss is brilliant and I am working half-days from home, which I can just about manage. But taking public transport, crowds of people, the thought of going back to the office fills me with dread. I have twice taken the train etc recently and felt so ill both times and the anxiety built up the whole journey, with nausea. I just can't envisage getting better - making the worry/anxiety/health worse.
I just want to sleep and not interact with anyone. At night-time, I fear I will suffer another panic attack and pass out when I go to sleep, as my heart is racing and I feel anxious even when I go to sleep.
From grammar school onwards, I have always had rather an inferiority complex, I guess, becoming isolated at times thinking nobody really likes me etc, or at least I'm not popular. At my age now this is not at all true, but I believe these current problems were triggered at the new office at work (even though I'd been happy there a couple of months), seeing people kind of going off for lunch together, and, with the office being open plan, hearing everybody's conversations and suddenly feeling isolated etc (even though I can join in easily and trying to convince myself it doesn't matter). I think it triggered off a really dreadful time when I started the job 21 years ago and was kind of ignored and belittled by some nasty people and had no pal for about two years. I'd go home in tears most days and feeling anxious and belittled and inferior.
I have now written down all the things that are good about me and to be proud of. People so like me, they think I'm witty and sharp and humorous. I know that now, so I don't need to worry. Yet I feel so bad and nauseous and have bad anxiety, despite telling myself all these things. It's a never-ending chaos of thoughts in my head, with the worry of returning to the office with the threat of the anxiety and nausea overwhelming me as soon as I'm there. I'm a kind person, humorous and enjoy the outdoor life (fishing, football etc) My family love me. But right now I feel like I'm letting them down and get tearful and start crying about my dad I lost in 2010, about my mum who's in a care home etc.
I'm just praying the medication kicks, in, but it seems to be worse right now and I just can't see an end to this. When the physical problems are so bad, I just keep thinking that even talking won't help. Just want to sleep all the tome as I can't face anything, smile or laugh.
Thanks for bearing with me. I just want to share my problems in the hope that it will help me or indeed anyone else going through such difficulties.
Thank you, all